They're having elections again soon. Or so I hear, anyway. Word on the street is that this is the most important election ever in the history of the United States, but to me it seems like more of the same. Once again I'm forced to choose one of two people to run the country and preside over the nuclear button when I wouldn't trust either of them to fill my gas tank.

I voted for W. I admit it. I wasn't happy about it, but compared to Gore, he was the obvious choice. I thought to myself, now here's a weak, spineless president who won't get a lot done, and then maybe in four years the Dems will put up a serious candidate and not some commie freak. I didn't like W's credentials or background, but I lived in abject terror of a Gore presidency. So I voted for Bush.

Then, of course, he decides he's going to DO stuff. I have many issues with his presidency so far, but there are two biggies. The invasion of Iraq is obvious. I loved invading Afghanistan. We should do that every weekend. But Iraq? I thought is was clever to announce that Hussein was the target, since that's the only thing that can get through to a dictator like that, but alas, it also committed us to an invasion. And here we are. What a mess.

The other side is the budget. Cutting taxes? Super! NOT cutting the spending along with that? Stupid! What the hell happened to Republicans wanting small government? After eight years of Clinton and 40 years of a Democrat Congress, surely there's SOMETHING that can be cut from the budget. There HAS to be! Democrats are genetically incapable of making cuts, but I expect Republicans to break out the scissors!

I was looking at the potential Democratic candidates way back near the beginning of the year, back when Kerry was largely unknown outside of Massachusetts. I will say that he looked like the most promising of a bunch of rather shiftless characters. Back then, I had pretty much made up my mind that I wasn't going to vote for Bush again based on my evaluation of his performance in his first term. I was hoping for Kerry, but anybody half-decent would do.

So I held my hand sup to the heavens and cried, "Lord, please grant us a candidate we can be proud of!"

God's response was, and I quote, "Fuck you, Jason. Your misery brings me great enjoyment, and I will continue to flood the government with pathetic weasels, for I am the Lord!"

Yes, I got the candidate I was hoping for, but he turned out to fall far short of what I had hoped for. First, he picked that prick John Edwards as a running mate. Come on, the guy claims to speak to the dead! That hardly qualifies him for-what? That's a different John Edwards? Whatever. This John Edwards, at least, is a one term senator who spent his adult life as a TRIAL LAWYER! This guy is less qualified to be president than Dan Quayle!

And now Kerry can't seem to make up his mind on anything. He supported the Iraq War in the primaries, now he's against it. He's running on his war record, but he spent a grand total of three months in action, then became and anti-war activist. Frankly, I can't figure out what his plan for the future is, beyond taxing the "rich" ($100,000 or more in annual income, which is hardly rich by my standards).

Then there's the company he keeps. His allies are shrieking lunatics like Gore and Dean. Cretins like Moore and assorted commie celebrities are also pulling for him. You can tell a lot about a person by the company he keeps.

And people wonder why I'm agnostic. 

So anyway, with less than a month to go, I am firmly undecided, as are a number of Americans. Every poll I see has the candidates in a dead heat, so I can't even fall on my favorite strategy of voting for the candidate who looks like he's going to lose so that I can escape blame for whatever horrible things happen.

No matter who wins, it's going to be a long, dark four years.