March 20, 24 J.E.

Fashion pisses me off. Can any of you brain-dead lemmings explain to me what instinctual, irrestable force drives you to cling tenaciously to whatever styles the collective stupidity has arbitarily designated as "cool"?

Didn't think so.

I just don't get it at all. Am I the only person on the planet who sees three people walking down the street who are dressed identically and laughs? That excludes, I suppose, uniformed professionals, but it's still weird. Why the hell is what you decide to wear such a determinate of whether or not you're "accepted"?

I never joined a frat or any other social group, nor I have I ever felt the need to. I always chose my friends regardless of what "crowd" they were in and I don't like being told who my friends should be. Maybe that's why I don't get it. You can usually tell what group a person belongs to be how they dress, even if they don't have those gaudy greek letters. Cliques all have their own "look", whether you're one of those ultra-trendies or whether you're one of those fringe groups like punks or goths. I don't belong to any particualr group, and I dress like it (i.e., whatever the hell I feel like wearing).

Now macro-fashions I can deal with. For example, guys probably shouldn't wear leather miniskirts, it's not cool to have a baby skull necklace, and you shouldn't wear sweatpants to a job interview. It's the unbelievably minute details that fashion fanatics take it to. For example, for male MBA's, you have to wear a button-up shirt (preferably blue with yellow cross-hatching) with the top two buttons undone and the tails untucked, beige Dockers, and those stupid brown boot-like sneakers. It is UNREAL. Thank God MOST of them appear to be beyond putting too much importance to specific brand names, or I'd never leave my apartment.

Chicks have it a LITTLE easier, I think. In spite of all their bitching about how they have to find the perfect shoes for an outfit and crap like that, one thing's for sure: guys don't care. If it's clingy or minimalist, it's GOOD. On top of that, women have a much wider range of looks to choose form. Guys usually have one accepted form of dress, and if you aren't dressed that way, God help you. I suppose it makes life simpler, but it's also a pain in the ass if you don't like being a clone.

I guess it all goes back to the days of tribalism. If you weren't in a tribe, you were probably dead meat. How you dress says what tribe you belong to. Kinda weak if you ask me, but I suppose it's human nature. Hell, if it wasn't, we wouldn't have countries or sports teams or frats or luscious, sultry sorority chicks... Anyway, is it so much to ask that people think for them-damn-selves one in a while? Or at LEAST not give people who dare to be different a hard time?

I have to admit, though. I caved. The fashion police managed to program me into buying a pair of those stupid brown sneakers. My resolve collapsed! Oh, I'm such a TOOL!

At least real lemmings have the decency to throw themselves into the sea every once in a while.

Back to the Commentaries 1