March 21 (by one hour), 24 J.E.
Alcohol. Nothing like writing something about it while in the grips of it's influence. Yep, three beers since 10:00 and I'm pretty much over the top. It's my parent's damn fault. They made me a deal: if I don't drink before I;m 21, they'll pay me $1,000. Thgouh my expert diplomacy and..like..stuff, I got it up to a car. So what kind of idiot would turn THAT deal down? So I got a car and I can get pretty well wasted on just a couple of buck's worth of booze. Also, that one drink an hour thing doesn't work for me. Maybe my liver's retarded or something.
And you know what else pisses me off?? They PROMISED me that getting all boozed-up would reduce your inhibitions. Well guess what? THAT doesn't work for me either. DAMMIT. Even if I can barely stand up I still don't have any nerve when it comes to hitting on chicks. The conspiracy to keep me from scoring has extended to my own biology. I'm still coherent, too. So no, I obviously didn't score tonight, either, although I think I may have had my chances but I blew them. I'll never score.
Alcohol also makes me depressed.
The drunkest I ever got was in England for my 24th birthday where I had a whopping six drinks. Two of them were whiskey (which sucks anyway) and the rest were, like, beer. I actually managed to impress some of the more hard-core drinkers by slamming a couple glasses of Guiness. I was staggering around quite a bit and I discovered that when drunks say the room is spinning, that's not just fanciful hyperbole. The room really DOES spin if you get drunk enough. That was the closest I came to breaking my puke-free record that started in the winter or 1988 (or late '87). The next morning I went to York and I was not feeling well.
I'm a good drunk, though. My communication skills kind of falter and I stumble around a lot, but I don't go grabbing chicks or anything. My worst drunken indiscretion is surrepticiously sniffing chick's hair when I get the chance. HEAD hair, sickos! I wish I had some decent friends around here, but alas! All my friends are far away.
Which reminds me. The other day there were having this legalize pot rally on campus I just happened to be walking by when it was happening. I hung around for awhile, until I realized they weren't giving out free samples so I left. Seriously though, the hypocrisy of having a drug like alcohol legal and a drug like pot illegal irritates me. It's not like you get all baked and go out and start a brawl or kill somebody. I can think of far better uses for our nation's law enforcement.
So in conclusion, I'm damn cool but I'll never be appreciated in my own time.
I'm totally fit shaced.