March 23, 24 J.E.
SHE SUGGESTED THE TITLE! I SWEAR TO GOD!
Anyway, today my evil mother came to visit me here in Penn State since she had a conference in town for something or another. She was swell enough to bring a vacuum cleaner for me to clean my rancid room (the maggots were getting irritating) and took me to dinner. So it wasn't a bad time, but on the whole I'd rather be in the company of dozens of hot chicks, all else being equal. It was much better than dinner last night when I was with a guy FRIEND which was fine until I ordered some dessert for myself and the waitress brought us TWO spoons. I didn't like the implication there. I also had to pay for my own food, so that sucked, too.
But I digress.
Overall I get along pretty well with my folks. Sure it's not a perfect relationship, but compared to just about everyone else I know, I've got it the best. That's hard for me to say, too, considering they're my friggin' parents, and I can't be TOO positive. All of my friends love them, too, so I imagine I've got something relatively good going here. Hell, my damn ex-girlfriend-turned-evil-backstabbing-ho (who had a baby boy and is on the fast-track to management at Wendy's) wanted to adopt them. I bet she misses them more than she misses me. I guess that shows how far a huge throbbing schlong gets you these days. Just because HER damn family sucks big hairy rocks doesn't mean she can take mine. I bet that if I said, "If you break up with me I'll never let you see my parents again," she would have stuck with a while longer. Of course, by then she was already pregnant by somebody else, so it doesn't much matter.
But I digress again.
I also found out some rather earth-shattering stuff about the antics my folks got into when they were my age and it just rocked my world. It's stuff I can't reveal here of course, but let's just say that in comparison I was a stable, sensible, and responsible young man. Hell, by ANY standard I was a stable, sensible, and responsible adolescent, but I would have expected that my folks would have had to have been more or less on a PAR with me. I MISSED OUT ON SO MUCH!! DAMMIT!!
And for THAT, among other things, I secretly resent my parents for ther est of my natural life. But they're still relatively cool. You know, for OLD people.