March 24, 24 J.E.

Dreams. Everybody has 'em, but nobody understands 'em. Incidentally, I'm talking about somnolent dreams, not those hopelessly idealistic and desperate hopes for love, success, or whatever, although they both amount to about the same. Some people think dreams are just the brain working itself out, and others think that dreams are some kind of bizarre spiritual journey. Whatever.

Ihtink I have pretty cool dreams, compared to many people. Most of my coherent dreams center around me fighting someone or something. Sure, you say, lots of people dream about that, but I put at wist on it. I'm viewing it almost as an interactive movie, where I can redo scenes that I don't like, sometimes changing characters and seeing the whole scene again from a different point of view. Those dreams kick ass, but, sadly, I haven't had one for awhile.

The past couple of days I've dreamed of making out with various cute chicks of my past, one of which I haven't seen or talked to for 11 years and hated anyway. The last one was the coolest, though. I dreamed that I actually got a chance to score with a recently-made single female friend who I've been hot for for awhile now. In real life, I'll never score with her because she lives far away and my testing of the waters was unpromising. The dream was cool though, mostly because her boobs grew a cupsize or two. The problem was, that when I was...uh...checking to see if she was lactating (for purely clinical reasons, of course) her skin felt a lot like cotton. I suspect that I was just tonguing my pillow again. I NEED A WOMAN!

Then there are those jerks who can supposedly control their dreams by looking at their hand or something. I did that once, but I couldn't get it to work. I was having a particularly boring dream when for whatever reason I realized I was dreaming (I'm not sure if looking at my hands triggered it or not). Since the dream was pretty much sucking up until that point, I tried to make a hot and easy chick appear, but it didn't work. I tried to do some other stuff, but literally nothing was happening. What a gyp. Maybe I was just dreaming that I had realized that it was a dream.

I'm not one of those people who thinks that dreams mean anything in particular. Hell, you have dozens of dreams in a night, but only remember a handful, so if your subconcious was trying to send you a message, dreaming would not be an efficient way to do it. I also took the liberty of reading one of those dream interpretation books and that proved to be a waste of time. It was basically a dictionary of what certain things appearing in your dreams supposedly mean. From forks to grasshoppers, it had it all. The only problem is, I don't dream about things, I dream in terms of ACTION. I 'm either screwing some chick, killing somebody, or just hanging out. I have never, in my life, had a dream that focused on forks or grasshoppers.

And for the record, I dream in Technicolor.



Back to the Commentaries 1