April 6, 24 J.E.
Hooray! It's STALKING SEASON!
Actually, there is no Stalking Season per se. It's more of a common sense thing. Who in their right mind would stalk someone in the dead and blasted wastes winter? Oh sure, there are some hardcores out there who INSIST on standing in the bushes staring up at the windows of their prey in knee deep snow, but those guys are nutcases. A good stalker keeps his health and physical safety in mind. Besides, with the state of technology today, you can stalk anyone in the world from the comfort of your own living room.
A true stalker, however, enjoys the physical chase more than simple threatening communication. Call me a purist, but if you don't thirst for the sight and smell of your perceived soulmate, you don't really have an abnormal fixation; you're just a weirdo.
There is an art to stalking. You don't just follow someone around all the time, occaisonally calling them just to breath heavy into the phone. That's sick! No, a the prey of a master stalker is never really certain if they're being stalked. They can suspect it, and they can even suspect YOU, but they should never be able to be sure. When they see you, and your eyes lock for that brief moment before they are overwhelmed by the intensity of your connection and they have to look away, they should get little more than a feeling of distinct uneasiness. That is the ultimate reward of stalking.
In case you're wondering, no, I'm not a stalker myself. I have no doubt that I have the talent, specifically the ability to obsess mindlessly over some chick. What I lack is the time. Few people really appreciate how much time it takes to be a successful stalker. Sometimes it can take up all of one's waking hours. Since I'm an MBA on the verge of graduating and looking for a job, I simply cannot afford the time investment.
Maybe when I'm rich I'll be able to stalk people. If I'm rich, though, I might be the one being stalked all the time. That might not be pleasant. Or maybe it would. Who knows? I guess it depends on weather or not the chick is hot. But why would a hot chick need to stalk abybody? Hmmm...
Did I mention that stalkers are, by definition, losers?