I tried to write one yesterday. I really did. But the stupid computer screwed me and deleted it when I was ALMOST done. DAMMIT. That kind of killed my urge to continue writing for that day. It wasn't a very interesting topic, though. It was just about graduating Saturday and reaching the culmination of 18 consecutive years of education. No big deal.
I still don't have a job, either.
What I REALLY wanted to write about, though, was that movie Deep Impact that I saw yesterday. In the off chance that you've been living in a cave for the last few months or are a complete retard (in either case, I don't know why you'd be reading this) it's that movie featuring a comet in a collision course with Earth. Don't confuse it with "Armageddon" which is a movie with he same subject but different actors.
Now first, let me just point out that the odds of any large rock hitting us in our lifetimes is EXTREMELY small. I once saw some knuckleheads had placed our odds of dying from a meteor strike at one in 5,000, never mind the fact that NO ONE is ever been known to have been killed by meteors, and there have only been a handful of people who have been actually hit by them. Even if that was a lifetime risk, it still states that roughly every 30,000-40,000 years a planet-killing meteor would strike us and kill everybody. In a word, bullshit. The last sort-of-major meteor strike was that in Arizona 50,000 years ago, and its crater was only 3 miles around. Peanuts! That Tunguska blast in 1901 doesn't really qualify as a big deal in my mind, since we can simulate its destruction with a single decent-sized nuke. SO anyway, our odds are much better of getting killed my lightning than a meteor. Hitting our tiny planet with an asteroid would be like trying to hit a fly with a snubnose revolver at 100 yards. Sure it's possible, but I wouldn't make bets on seeing it in my lifetime.
SO anyway, it got me thinking about the practical applications of such a strike. What would you do if the Earth's days were numbered? You can bet I'd be pissed off at having just done all this work on an MBA only to have it wasted. That would figure. At least I wouldn't have to worry about getting a job anymore. I also wondered what it would do to the stock market. I'd imagine that most people would try to cash out, sending stock prices plunging. You know what I would do? The last week the market was open, I would take out HUGE loans and invest EVERYTHING into the stock market. I'd focus primarily on construction companies, but virtually anything not at ground zero would be a good deal. Why? Why the hell not? I'd take the chance that we would somehow dodge the bullet. If we don't, I won't lose anything. If we do, I'll be incredibly WEALTHY! I'd be so rich I could afford to BUY the asteroid, carve my face on it, and put it in a stable orbit around Earth as a tribute to my cunning. That would be cool.
Some of their predictions were a bit overly dramatic. They said that a 7-mile wide meteor hitting Western Canada would turn the Earth dark for 2 YEARS, eliminating ALL plant and animal life. I find that a little hard to swallow. Sure it would cause problems and probably make the real estate in that area nearly worthless (I would also buy that and make it a tourist attraction later), but elimination of ALL life? Come on. It didn't happen with the dinosaurs and it won't happen then. The problem with dust and stuff is that it's HEAVIER than air. I suspect that it would precipitate out after a couple of months. Sure, it would be a MISERABLE couple of months, but it wouldn't be any damn two years!
And why the title "Deep Impact"? It sounds more like a porn flick than a disaster movie. "Hey baby, I got your deep impact right here!" Maybe I should try that line. Maybe it would work. Maybe I'd get killed. In any case, I wouldn't worry about not being able to score anymore.
Oh yeah, my review of the flick. It was okay, I guess.