If you've ever been to a city, you've no doubt seen those homeless people begging for change on the sidewalk. If you've lived there for any amount of time, you're familiar with the reaction most people have, which is to simple stare ahead, pretend that they don't see them, and move on.
Today I was checking out some hot chick as we passed each other on the sidewalk. She stared ahead, pretendning that she didn't see me, and moved on. Then it hit me. I'm the sexual equivalent of a street begger when I check out chicks. I might as well be sitting on the corner saying, "Got a spare kiss?" or "How about a quickie for a guy down on his luck?" Am I pathetic? Am I a loser?
Maybe, but just like those bums who eventually get change, sooner or later I'm BOUND to score. Eventually, some chick will take pity on me and toss a little luvin' my way.
The tough thing is that I'm still not entirely sure what I would do with a chick if I got one. I KNOW what I would do biologically speaking, retard, and I would do it a lot, but there's more to it than that. I require some sort of emotional attachment, or I might as well stay home and spank off. As I noted before, all of the relationships I've seen and experienced are about 40% biology, 50% self-deception, and 10% emotion. It's a sad state of affairs.
Right now I have little more than a vague ache of yearning pushing me to get a chick, and my intellect is still paralyzed with indecision. I guess I'll just stick to mantaining a carnal relationship with my hands. It's a poor kind of sex, it's a poor kind of luvin', but it's all I got right now.
Or I could just join a monastery. That would be a lot easier. That is contingent, of course, on whether or not they have cable.