July 1, 24 J.E.

Do you know what I find profoundly annoying? I am a 24 year old male, in excellent health, weighing a mere 150 lbs, with cholestorol of 140 and perfect blood pressure, and my lifestyle (at least part of it) is being dictated by a bunch of aging, fattening baby-boomers who are trying desperately to cling to the last remnants of their disintegrating health. Now under normal circumstances, the fact that they're all getting old would be about as significant as the color of the underwear the Pope wears (actually, that WOULD be cool to find out) but the rampant consumerism of those damn old people is affecting my diet.

Back when I was young and happy, no one ever looked for fat-free foods. Nobody cared about the cholestorol content of their foods. All that mattered was that it tasted good. Now everything's fat-free, salt-free, high-fiber, and generally healthy.

It also all tastes like barbecued shit.

Why just today, I bought one of those ready-made Caeser salad mixes. I've head them before, and they're damn good. I failed to notice the unassuming "Fat Free" label on the package. Then I ate it. It tasted AWFUL. I'd rather eat ungarnished lettuce than allow that fat-free crap anywhere near my lips.

Everything that's unhealthy that the try to make less-unhealthy always tastes worse than something healthy. Hell, if all there were in the stores was that fat-free crap, whether it's milk, ice cream, mayonnaise, potato chips, whatever, I can guarantee that I'd lose weight, because I'd STARVE. I'd sooner eat boiled earthworms (are they high in fat?).

Instead of change their lifestyles at ALL, people would rather eat the same crap and tell themselves that it's healthy for them. Instead of just not eating ice cream, they'll eat the vapid, nauseating fat-free concoction that passes for ice cream, no matter how bad it tastes. Instead of hauling their flabby, wrinkly asses to the gym, they'll risk their gastrointestinal well-being on that imitation fat O-lean. They'll risk their brains on Nutrasweet rather than drinking WATER. Buncha weirdos.

And I'VE gotta pay for it. It's become progressively tougher to find GOOD food these days. Whole milk is just about impossible to find, and reduced fat cheese is becoming the norm.

I for one plan to fight this trend toward pseudo-healthfulness until the bitter end. I control my diet. I don't eat Haagen-Daaz topped with lard, and garnished with Doritos for every single meal. I have excellent vital stats and by golly, I'm going to eat what I enjoy as long as I can get away with it. Maybe when I get old, I'll crumble and begin eating "good for you" foods, but until then, my philosophy is that if you only go around once, you might as well grab all the gusto you can.

It helps that I'm also too poor to buy any non-essentials (i.e. junk food). I'll take donations, though.



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