August 6, J.E.

OK, so it's been awhile since I've written anything. Why? As a result of YnoK, my brain became fried, and I ended up on top of a bell tower with a high powered-rifle and a hatred for three-legged blue crocodiles. Fortunately, there aren't a whole lot of those around so I didn't spend much on ammunition. I subsequently went on a whirlwind tour of the state's mental health facilities and let me just say that I think my tax dollars could be better spent. Sometime around Wednesday I woke up in the back of a truck in the deserts of central Asia with a hangover and a tattoo that said "Ming Li forever". Then I was abducted by aliens, and they were swell enough to drop me off back here.

Actually, strictly speaking that isn't completely true, but it's more interesting than my real ife.

I had the opportunity to se the Blair Witch Project a couple of days ago. In case you're COMPLETELY clueless, it's about three college kids who go to investigate a local legend and vanish. Their video tapes are found a year later. It's very realistic but it is, of course, fake. The cool thing about it is that it lacks even a hint of special effects. The mood is set with atmosphere and strange sounds.

Frankly, it scared the living piss ot of me. In fact, it's the first movie that's done that in a long time.

Fear is a funny thing. It's biological benefit is obvious. If it wasn't for fear, we'd see a sabre-toothed tiger charging at us and note it as a minor inconvenience instead of running like hell or at least trying to poke it with a stick. It's the thing that keeps sane people from jumping the Grand Canyon in a motorcycle or parachuting or drinking Drain-o. It's the thing that's supposed to keep us alive by influencing our behavior and in a pinch, allowing us to throw shit in the face of an attacking beast (reach around--it'll be there).

The thing about the Blair Witch Project is that it played on one of humanity's primal fears: being alone in the dark with something you can't see coming after you. It freaked me. My parents were unmoved however, mostly because they couldn't get into it. My mom was hung up about the fact that they didn't follow a stream to find their way back to civilization, while my dad's imagination has been destroyed by 25 years of engineering.

Fear goes screwy, though. Take the case of phobias. A great example would be the fact that if those people in the movie were spelunking in a haunted cave, my evil mom wouldn't be able to watch it due to claustophobia. It is an unreasoning fear that for some reason triggers the fear response. How dumb ass is it to be afraid of cats (ailurophobia), loss of gravity (barophobia), beds (clinophobia), or plants (botanophobia)? Gynephobia is OK, though.

I am, I'm happy to report pretty much phobia free and have only rational fears. You know, fear of commitment, nuclear war, politicians, and three-legged blue crocodiles. All else is silly.

Go see Blair Witch Project.



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