Sometimes I'm so stunningly intelligent I just make myself sick. I am, without a doubt, the equal of Sarte, Rousseau, Nietzche put together. I can come up with blindingly original and shockingly insightful truths that challenge the status quo and not have to worry about anything petty like evidence to back it up. Sadly, though, I do usually use facts and evidence to back up my claims (unlike those other dipshits-called-philosophers), so maybe I'm not cut out of a philosophical cloth.
Today I was pondering why there is no female equivalent of the word "phallic". Why such a gross gender inequity? Why do WE get stuck with it? I mean, you can call a pickle phallic, but what do you call a bagel? I though of a potential word, "Volvic", but I don't know. Friggin' Freud...
I just realized the gross sexual overtones involved in filling a car with gas. Next time you're doing it, try not to think of the car's volvic opening engorging itself on the rushing liquid spurting from the phallic nozzle, at $1.33 a gallon no less!
While taking a break from contemplating a high-brow description for things resembling female genitalia, I was able to disprove reincarnation as a practical alternative. How can I make such a claim with such contriteness and confidence? How can I dismiss the beliefs of a couple of billion people with a casual wave of my hand?
Elementary, my dear Watson. It all comes down to the math of it.
Setting parameters: typical reincarnation doctrine holds that one soul equals one life, and that the same souls are being constantly recycled (how politically correct!). There are no provisions for the creation of new souls, although in many belief systems, the souls do eventually get out of the loop and go somewhere else. With me so far?
According to the United Nations, there are about 6 billion people in the world today. Prior to the year 1,000 B.J.E., the population of the world was about 300 million and certainly smaller in the previous millenia. In fact, it didn't even break 1 billion until 169 B.J.E. (1804 C.E.). For argument's sake we'll say that the average length of a generation is 20 years. People lived fast and died young in those days...
THEREFORE, prior to the year 1000 B.J.E., for there to be enough souls to fill all existing bodies on the world today, a person could be reincarnated into a body that lives a reasonable amount of time once every 400 years (or once every 20 generations). Due to staggeringly high infant mortality, the figure of actual rebirths my be about half that, but a majority of such lives would still end while very young.
Again, that assumes that there are just enough souls to fill existing bodies. Considering that the UN projects population to grow by an additional 50%, that increases the number to once every 600 years. Even in 169 B.J.E., you would still be born only once every 9 generations. I wonder where you would spend all your free time?
Kinda puts those delusions about being somebody famous in check when you consider that not only is there a slim chance you could be that person, there's a slimmer chance you were even alive at the same time.
Take that, you Marie Antoinette wannabe's.
