I went to the zoo for the first time in about a million years this weekend. Seemed like a worthwhile way to kill a Saturday morning at the PhilaHELLphia Zoo with a couple of coworkers. I didn't really know what to expect, since the last time I had been to such a place preceded the last time I scored, so you know it's been awhile. I must say, I was rather pleased.
The very first exhibit we saw was a cluster of foxbats. We watched them for a minute as they dangled from the ceiling, just hanging around, as it were. Then one of them flipped upright, grasping the grate above him. Before our astonished eyes, it laid a big turd which went splattering to the ground 10 feet below. Immediately thereafter, a stream of what I can only presume to be urine followed it. We were stunned. I have never in my life seen a bat relieve itself. That was cool.
Amazingly, the day only got better. The next major exhibit was the reptile house, which was pretty cool. They also had some arthropod exhibits there. That was surprisingly not-so-cool, since they only had arachnids with which I was already well acquainted or owned. On the way out, though, we stopped by the tortoise yard. To our collective elation, a couple of tortoises were getting it on. That's something I'd only seen on late-night nature shows, but to see it in the flesh was unreal. If you've never had the privilege, the male climbs on top of the female, and they groan almost obscenely. I also got a view of the male's weiner. It was different.
Shortly afterwards, we went into the new primate house, built on the ruins of the one that burned down a couple of years ago. They were out of monkey burgers when we got there. Anyway, we got to see a couple of gibbons doing the nasty. I suppose that was the least surprising, since you kind of expect that from monkeys, Nevertheless, it was a hell of a sight. We were watching for a good 5 minutes or so and they never let up. Then we got bored and moved on.
That's not all, though. In a second trip through the Reptile House, we saw a couple of rhinoceros beetles doing the knocking boots. By then, though, we were a bit jaded by all of the animal porn we had seen up until then.
All in all, it was quite a trip, although I couldn't help but feel a bit of commiseration for the large animals. The two elephants certainly didn't look too happy to be there. They had a leopard that was basically going nuts, walking along the bars in a set trail. The goats seemed alright with it, but they got fed all the time by little kids.
I'd have been just as happy if it was filled with all of the dumb animals that don't mind being locked up. Heck, if they had a comprehensive tarantula collection, I would have been in heaven. Instead, they had to take up perfectly good tarantula space with things like elephants and leopards.
What kills me is that the tortoises are getting more action than I am.
