At last, the 200th entry! I was originally planning to have this done in time for my birthday. I had it all planned out, too. I reckoned that if I finished one entry every two days, I could have it done.
But I slacked off.
The next goal was New Year's. Surely, I thought, if I might have gotten it done before my birthday, I can certainly finish it in the next two and a half months!
But I slacked off again.
So here we are, a mere 29 days after my second deadline, finally finishing up. That Jasonnicus marathon really took it out of me.
So how will I commemorate this milestone? The only way that could possibly be appropriate. I think I'll expound on my experiment in body shaving. I'm not a particularly hairy person, thank God. Most of me is pretty hair-free. My back is a mere savannah of peach fuzz, and save a couple dozen uppity follicles in the center of my chest, the front of me is relatively bald. I'm not some kind of hairless freak, though. My arms, legs, armpits, and nads have the proper amount of hair.
There are only two spots where I think the hair seems superfluous. The first is my nipples. Now since I'm a guy, those two vestigial scars of the unfortunate fact that I still bear the curse of the X chromosome to some extent would normally not be an issue. My only concern is that I have a perfect ring of hair around each areola, and each hair is about 2 inches long! Egad! It's not TERRIBLY noticeable, bit I notice it.
Then there's my stomach. When I was in my teens, I noticed a thin little happy trail bridging the gap between my belly button (the hole in which I received my last meal through any orifice other than my mouth) and the glorious instrument to the south. Over the years, though, this happy little foot-trail grew to a rural route, then to a main street, then to a highway, and now the friggin' thing is an 8'lane SUPERhighway! You'd think they would have expanded the road to accommodate a large increase in traffic, but alas, it still remains the road less traveled. Perhaps it was built in expectation of heavy interest do to the wonderful thing at the end of the road, but, like Euro Disney, the audience just didn't go for it.
SO, I decided to see what would happen if I shaved that offending hair. All in all, the experience was about what I expected. I didn't feel much different, or even any "prettier". I figured that at best, it'll be something I only do if I ever go to the beach.
Then came the horrible, unforeseen consequences. The itching, I learned, was unreal. My stomach itched quite a bit, but the worst, by far, was the nipple hair. The stubbly hairs got stuck in the fibers of my undershirt and itched like a bitch. I have not had itching like that before in my life. I also just realized that there aren't a lot of synonyms for "itch".
It's better now, but I don't think I'll be doing that again. Thank GOD I'm not a chick.
I was also called by a telemarketer Saturday morning. While was talking, I farted REALLY loudly.
"Did you say something?" he asked.
"No," I answered.
