This story was published in the 1993 edition of the Cowles Mountain Journal.

FOREIGN POSTAGE

by

Tom Scanlan

Wednesday's mail had just arrived and Janet's letter from Washington had changed everything.

Paul watched her as she read the letter a second time. Her eyes were bright and her lips, moving slightly as she scanned each line, were curled upwards in a broad grin. She was like a little girl when she was this delighted about something.

"So, sweetheart, Professor Clark wants you to stay here at Berkeley and work for him.", said Paul. "And it's to help set up that new international oceanic organization you were always telling me about?"

Janet looked up from the letter.

"Yes. He wants me to stop by his office on campus and write up my job description before he gets back from Washington tomorrow. He's got the full grant funded. I'm so happy for him, Paul. He's wanted to do this for so long."

Paul chuckled. That was just like Janet. She has just received a fabulous job offer, only a few weeks after completing her Master's, and she's feeling as happy for her professor as she was for

herself. Paul loved that quality in her. It was just one of the many reasons that he had married her. All the same, that letter had really complicated things.

For months, as their studies were winding down, they had each been applying and waiting for job offers. Now, only a few days after he had received a job offer for an aide position at the Taipei embassy in Taiwan, Janet gets a job offer right here in Berkeley-- working with an aging grad-school professor who had also become a dear friend.

Paul hadn't told her about his own job offer in Taiwan yet because he wanted to surprise her with the good news tomorrow. It was her birthday.

He turned back toward the glowing monitor of his computer and pressed Page Down. The text which he had been composing for his acceptance letter for the position at the embassy in Taiwan scrolled off the screen. He was no longer certain that he'd be taking that job.

His feelings flowed together, happiness and disappointment merging into something he did not know how to deal with. It was beginning to feel like guilt, because in spite of Janet's happiness, he really wanted that job in Taiwan. He wanted it so badly that it was all he could do to keep himself from telling her about it right now.

They had only been married a week--it was as soon as they could manage it after each of them had graduated--and now they each had job offers on opposite sides of the planet! He knew that this might happen but always assumed that one offer would be much better than the other, and they'd simply go with the best offer. But it wasn't going to be that simple.

"Jan, how certain is the funding? He's been turned down twice before and the fed's science budget is really tight this year. Sometimes these projects get approved and then the appropriations committee has to cut some more, and there goes your funding."

She tapped the letter and replied, "He says in here that the committee approved a three- year contract, already signed off by appropriations. It's everything he wanted. It's so fantastic!"

Paul tried to look relieved. Instead, he felt another surge of guilt for hoping that her job might still be contingent on some future budget decision.

He tried to hide his concern over this dilemma by forcing a smile and sounding as upbeat as possible when he said, "Well, this is one great birthday present! Look, I had us booked at a Chinese restaurant tomorrow night but under the circumstances maybe we should go for seafood instead. Your choice. Any suggestions?"

Janet placed the letter on the top shelf of their makeshift board-and-brick bookcase and headed for the telephone in their small apartment kitchen. "I'm calling the Crab Shanty. We can finally afford it."

More than you know, hon, Paul thought. He sighed and turned back to the computer monitor. He moved the mouse pointer to File, and clicked the left button. A menu appeared and he clicked again on Save, and then shut down the computer. Save, he thought--save for what? How in the hell was he going to break the news about his own job offer now? Or should he even mention it at all?

That night and all of the next day Paul agonized over what to do. Janet loved that old professor and had helped him plan an international oceanic organization as part of her thesis. He wanted, more than anything, for her to be happy, especially in this first year of their marriage. But that embassy job in Taiwan was exactly the sort of position that his own major in Asian Studies had prepared him for.

The waiter escorted them to a table with a corner view window through which you could see the lights of the Bay bridge arching toward the distant hills of Berkeley. They flopped into the soft leather booth and gazed out at the moonlit waters and the city lights, muted by the first wisps of an incoming fog bank.

The building fog cover reminded Paul of his own anxiety, which was increasing by the moment. He had decided earlier in the day that it was best to tell her of his own job offer, and to break the news early, rather than worry about it through dinner. Now he wasn't so sure. He pushed his glasses back up where they belonged and looked directly into her eyes. She had a troubled expression, which seemed strange, under the circumstances. Did she sense his own feelings? He cleared his throat. It was dry and his voice seemed reluctant to form the words.

"Jan, that job offer with Professor Clark is fantastic, but there's something--"

Janet interrupted, "It's not that simple, Paul. I stopped by Professor Clark's office this afternoon and found out that my job is not here in Berkeley. Most of the grant money is supposed to be used for setting up field offices."

She was watching his face, bookish but handsome behind his dark-rimmed spectacles. She loved how he could seem, at the same time, both boyish and serious. At this moment, he seemed overly serious, and more intent on talking than listening. And she thought she knew why.

She had seen his unfinished letter to Taipei when she was using the computer this morning to type up her job description. As a result, she had waited most of the afternoon in Professor Clark's office to talk with him personally when he finally arrived from the airport. She knew that he would be terribly disappointed when she informed him that she couldn't stay and work with him in Berkeley.

Paul continued, trying to ignore her interruption, hoping to finish before she became too enamored with her own job prospects. "Janet, listen--I got a letter on Monday--"

She tried unsuccessfully to hush him with a finger to her lips, and then said, firmly, "Paul, let me finish. Professor Clark needs me to set up one of the overseas field offices."

They were both talking at the same time now, Paul raising his voice as he said, "--a letter offering me a--"

Janet raised her own voice slightly, "I wont be working here in Berkeley. He wants me to choose between Caracas, Juneau, Taipei or Brisbane."

Paul stopped talking--stopped breathing, even, for a moment.

Janet cocked her head to one side, tossing the strands of her honey-brown hair from where they had fallen over one eye, and smiled knowingly as she said "Paul, you're staring at me like a ninny! What is it?"

He reached across and took her hands in his. Her brow furrowed and her eyes questioned this sudden change in his behavior.

"You did say Taipei?"

"Yes, and Caracas and Juneau and Brisbane. Berkeley would have been so much simpler. You could have found a job at the university or done some more graduate study. There's no way it would work out for both of us. I'll have to turn him down."

She paused a moment, and tried to look disappointed. Paul had no way of knowing that she had suggested Taipei to Professor Clark this afternoon in his office--and that wonderful man had agreed immediately that it was an ideal location for a field office.

Paul said nothing for a moment. He looked at Janet with eyes that showed admiration as well as caring. This lovely woman sitting across from him was really something--no hesitating on her part about what to do when it came to a tough choice affecting the two of them.

They were both receiving a gift tonight.

He smiled and squeezed her hands gently. His eyes were moist and his voice nearly cracked when he said, "Well, before you go doing anything so drastic, let me tell you about a little birthday surprise that came in the mail this Monday."

He signaled the waiter. It was time for some Champagne.

The End