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i've done nothing creative since this mandarin class began; it sucks all my time away and i feel drained and boring. ephedra has promised herself she'll stay single for awhile, due in part to a tarot reading. damiana and i are friends again. hemlock says she's forgiven me for "breaking up with her" as i've forgiven her for going mad. she had ample reason to, as it turns out, and it wasn't her true self being revealed. i'm not scared of her anymore, scared of breaking eggshells, breaking little pockets of pain (first hers, made mine)--i don't take her as seriously. she doesn't take me as seriously either. it's a good thing. damiana lights up a room like always. makes everything beautiful the way i remember. i was scared i wouldn't recognize her, seeing her again, but she's unmistakable with that snapdragon neck (there's nothing like it). i miss her hair though. today hemlock taught me some shaolin kung fu moves that he's been learning. my legs are sore and i broke a strap on my dress. it's much more strenuous than my beginning ballet class was. then we watched a terrible kung-fu movie and ate "hotdogs" and we were going to make a fort out of seat cushions, but it got late and it didn't seem fun anymore. oh, yes. i beat him at chess. he wasn't concentrating at all, but it was still fun. |