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i have these naked pictures of damiana. from just before everything went wrong. i mean, from just before everything went wrong for what is undoubtedly the last time. she's so pretty. i always thought her nipples looked like some exotic fruit. she thought mine looked mysterious. maybe that summarizes how we thought of each other as people. we were always too good at being ornamental. we even fooled each other. i've discovered one thing that's good about being single. maybe it doesn't outweigh all the drawbacks, but it's something. my body is mine. it is only mine. it is no one else's. this is comforting, in a strange way. it lends a solidity to my existence. i don't miss castor anymore. i couldn't eat for a few days, but now i feel ok again. that's a good thing, because if my weight keeps dropping, ephedra will call the paramedics. i don't like hospitals. i spent too much time there as a child. they are too sterile. |