Smaller Rant Collection

I finally got some mail here- one was a $70 (!) CD holder that I KNOW I didn't order (what is up with these people!?) and the other was from summer housing. Frankly, the longer I'm here, the more weirded-out I'm getting about summer school. It's just so relaxing to be home, and other than being cut off from the Internet 95% of the time, it hasn't been bad. Sure, this is only probably because my mom's on vacation and therefore things have been interesting, and I know I'll be feeling bored when I'm home every day with nothing going on in August . . . but right now I'm thinking, "Hey, everyone else is home, so why am I leaving?" No longer. They fought all night yesterday and almost all day today, and it drove me nuts. Maybe I'm more ready to leave than I thought.

I have no interest in my classes, don't feel like packing (or cleaning up my huge mess of stuff that just came home), and except for avoiding the inevitable, why should I leave? (Because I already paid, that's why.) I'm not going to get the fridge at school after all (they locked up the place that was holding it by the time my parents got there), and I'm really pissed about that. No fridge in 105-degree temperatures? Good God! I'm not even gonna try to get them to let me bring my stereo. I'll miss almost all of the Fair too (the one thing to do in my area in the summer), unless I can convince them to pick me up all the weekends of it (not likely). I'm not looking forward to the joys of DC once again, and I've been enjoying being able to eat in my house and have cold beverages. Then again, in August I'll probably be going, "I don't wanna go home." Then again if I weren't leaving I'd be strapped into a car for hours at a time learning to drive and being pestered to find a job.

I'm also nervous about getting another roommate. God only knows who I'll wind up rooming with (a female English-speaking nonsmoker's all I know), and what if we hate each other's guts? What if I can't get on the Internet at all because she uses the phone 24 hours a day? Early riser? Mean? I'm not even going to have anything to do up there, the only people I know in Davis in the summer are Sarah and Hardeep, and I don't even have their number (address, but no phone). I hope this isn't a disaster.

When my parents left the house today I was frantically checking my sites, and I followed this link off Quinn's (hi, Quinn! Look, another link!) page. Again, some things sounded familiar. Not that I've had her kind of experience (I've dated off the Internet, but didn't get that far. Good thing, I guess), but a few lines. Like "I considered giving up so much for him, including my education at my dream college, and now I thank God that I didn't." Did that. I wanted to go to UCSB for awhile, had been considering it beforehand, but knowing someone was living there that I wanted to see more of was a real kicker. Since he didn't want to do long-distance, I kept thinking stuff like "But if I go somewhere else I'll never see him again!" (okay, that was true.) But as I was considering where to apply to, he was reconsidering the whole thing. I didn't find out until Thanksgiving (about a month after I applied) that he was moving back here. At the time I was grateful that I hadn't done such a thing (not that I would have been allowed to by my parents anyway) because then we would have been really far apart. And Davis was relatively close by. And now I'm trying to get out of the point of "All I could think about was what I did wrong and how I could change it so that we could go back to how it was before." Well, I still do that, but less of what I did wrong, and in my few rational moments I know that I couldn't have changed things on my end unless I was really spineless (going to Lost Potential instead of Davis). And that probably wouldn't have helped!

Checked hers again today, and talk about coincidence- she was talking about what she wants in a guy too in her entry for yesterday. I am amazed. And also wanting to leave to go to school- "I will never live in a town of 5000 with children. I won't do that to my kids." I agree. Small towns sound idyllic to parents, but then once you're a bored teenager . . . Reminds me of this paper my mom picked up from Yountville (where Granddaddy lives, another podunk area). The front page article was on how once kids hit middle school age they're bussed somewhere else to attend school and how there's nothing for kids of the older ages there. Ick! Worse than here.

My latest amusement in writing (when I haven't been churning out stuff for the site) came from this odd article I found in some psychic-times newspaper (hey, what the hell, right? So I decided to create the "Perfect Man."

A little background here: I can't give you the exact link (it's on my computer, which isn't hooked up right now), but I saw this article written by Cintra Wilson (Valentine's edition of the S.F. Examiner) about how she decided to create her perfect man- hair color, profession, age, humor, looks, everything. She said prayers to a bunch of gods, made solemn vows, every elaborate thing she could come up with, then waited. And eventually (this is the part I found hard to believe, but it sure does fit with this mock-up thing) she got engaged. And the guy is (supposedly) EXACTLY like the guy she imagined. Everything.

Now I've had this theory for awhile that the reason people go for types (i.e. one guy goes for redheads, one girl goes for blondes, I go for dumb, etc.) is because we somehow subconsciously know that our perfect match has those characteristics. (And no, this theory doesn't go with my belief that true love doesn't exist for everyone too well. I never said that I made sense.) Which is why I really paid attention to this one.

And for those of you who are wondering, yes, I used to think this about The Moron. Besides his dumber/weirder/frighteninger characteristics (which I could live with, although setting your clothes on fire while wearing them REALLY worried me- yes, I saw him do this once!), we were pretty alike and complimentary where we weren't. The combination managed to set off all of my buttons. How many cute, dumb, yet sarcastic (sarcasm normally takes brains, I don't know how he managed it!) guys are out there? His mother's a seamstress, I do clothing design- how perfect was THAT? The one straight guy in the world who actually had a clue what I was doing in that area.

I seriously doubt that I can find somebody else who matched that way in the world. I don't think it could be possible. Times like this I'm feeling pissed that except for him everything would have worked out. I know that makes no sense. It's just a shame that this love crap takes two people, and maybe the only way I'd get it to work would be if I cloned a male version of me or something. Then again, who'd do the cleaning and bug-killing? (Okay, The Moron and I wouldn't have done those things either!) I don't think my parents could afford to pay for two spoiled people sponging off them and not working ;)

Wow, drifted off topic there, didn't I? Okay, back to the "Perfect Man." While I'm not going to get into all the stuff I came up with, I will admit that a lot of it was stuff like The Moron. Only with improvements, like "playaholic", "rich", "intelligent", "goes to Davis", "likes me as much as I like him", "good memory", "has talent at something", etc., etc. I felt a bit like a spiritual Frankenstein. Another thing that worried me was the looks area. I don't have a particular type really, other than not being attracted to guys that look like they could be related to me (too biologically disturbing). I put in blonde hair, blue eyes. The blonde was because I don't have any terrible memories/experiences with blondes (although I've pretty much ruined myself for all the other hair colors), and blue eyes was just, "Might as well go for the stereotype while you're at it- this is "The Perfect Man", after all. I could almost picture him- wonder if that means it works? I decided to pick a meeting time while I was at it- my first class on the first day of school. I wonder if that'll work? Okay, here's where the skepticism and amusement come in. But at least it was entertaining.

Links to other sites on the Web

Quinn's Life
SheriBerry Graphics (pencil, arrow)
By Design (prince & Cinderella, design)
Animation Grove (frogs)

Again, since I've typed so much stuff, I think I'll break it up into two pages. So just go to this link for my review of The NEW Marine World Theme Park!

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