"Out the door, past the empty pharmacy. She looked at me in a strange and lovely way, then absolutely disappeared. What was it she reminded me of? The tall woman I'd seen the day before? I didn't think so. Was it my obsession with her beautiful, remote, freckled face?" -J.PetermanWhat's that quote got to do with anything? Stay tuned.
I've been thinking over several entries I wanted to put up here, but didn't get to for lack of time. So I'm going to combine 'em all, since there's a theme, and transcribe them as close to how I thought them up. And watch for the end, things get surprising. I named my page pretty accurately. And the picture's pages today aren't linked, as I lost my listings of reference pages, and my computer isn't hooked up for me to check. Sorry.
A few days ago: I should be studying for art history. Well, I am studying for it, but I'm also having some off-topic thoughts about the single life. Namely, that I'm pretty content with the way things are now. No terrible fixations with people who don't give a rat's ass, other than my lust for the front desk guy who I rarely see and there was probably nothing happening there anyway. No longing desire "couplehood" (odd that I used to, when you consider how I flip out whenever it's mentioned!). I'm enjoying my freedom from the opposite sex. To quote Jess from When Harry Met Sally, "I'm comfortable with the fact that it's just me and my work." (Or something like that) I'm normal, for like the first time since I started liking guys (elementary school. I was an early bloomer. How unfortunate). I guess this is what it's like to be normal. And it ain't bad, folks. =)
August 7, 4:30 p.m.: I had to go to the DC early for lunch (I had to go to campus early and finish my project), and the front desk guy (we'll make that FDG) was already eating in there. Mmmm. Just for fun (and to avoid getting my usual reaction when I stare at people- when they catch me, they act as if I've got cooties), I decided to sit a few tables down, directly behind him, so I could check him out without his knowing it. I got my food, but passed in his eyeline (apparently) when I went to get a drink. I sit down, and during the lovely repast (not), FDG turns around to look at me. Several times. I kinda look back, but don't do anything. As I left the DC, I was mentally kicking myself. 
Why the hell can't I figure out this flirting/interest stuff? I'm pathetic. I have no idea what to do other than stare at them, and I don't think that counts as a pickup line! I should have at least smiled or something, for god's sake. Especially when for ONCE there seemed to be some mutual interest going. (Sounds like my mother's "Smile and say hi." I did that and they all looked at me funny.) I just can't act the way that my ex-best friend Angela did around guys- she wore short shorts, wiggled her butt when she walked, smiled like she was going to take a bite, and would go, very breathily, "Hiiiiiiiii." Frankly, I just can't bring myself to act that silly and well, obvious. Icky. I can't flirt for shit.
Then again, what woulda been the point? It'd be the whole "Why didn't I do this earlier in the session?" thang. Okay, so I at least tried hanging around the lobby in case he was in there (rarely), and just the other day I came in the back door (the front door shows you a full view of the desk, the back doesn't) and thought he was in there- but I didn't have the nerve to go over there with no excuse but to well, flirt. I am such a wuss.
August 8, 1:00 a.m.: As we're loading my stuff out to the truck later that afternoon, (packing was a bitch) I see him in the lobby again, only his back's turned to me. Judging by his outfit change, I'd say he's going off duty for the day. Aw damn. Go out to the car, stash stuff in the truch, and I see him walking off (into the sunset). And yeah, he turns to look at me again. I look back, then he walks off, looking kinda sad, slumped over and all. Awww, I think. Sigh . . . screw that again.
A few minutes later, he drives by in his car. Around the circle (I lived in a circle), the full way, passing by again. Again, I'm happy yet sad, especially as he drives out of there. Well, that's it.
A few minutes later I turn around and he's walking up to me! (Talk about a surprise.)
"You're Jen, right?"
Yeah . . . after name checking (no, I'm not gonna tell you what his was), he says- take note guys, here's a good way to put it- "I think we should stay in touch." Which, since we'd hardly gotten to talk the whole time I was here . . . well, it's clear what that meant. =) Mom and Linda discreetly leave (not that I notice). Since neither of us has any paper, he tells me to leave my info at the front desk for him.
The dish: Established facts: Junior, goes here, lives in Discovery Bay (25 minutes from home- GORGEOUS place!), gets moved around a lot at work (hence why I hardly ever saw him- yes, I mentioned that), and here's the kicker, folks- was gonna ask me to the movies tonight.
Dammit, dammit, dammit! Fate is evil. I told: Grade, previous and future locations, where I'm from (he asked me if I liked it, I gave it a so-so rating, "cow town"), that I'm leaving :(
Anyway, despite our uh, timing, it went well. I am so filled with warm fuzzies that he came back to talk to me! Awww . . . if I blushed, I would be blushing right now. Still, and it's 1:45 a.m. as I'm writing this.
As I went back into the building, I wound up screaming, "Yeehaw!" Loudly. :)
I'm going to have to come up with a better alias for FDG here- suggestions, anyone?
Also saw most of the other players in our little summer drama as I babysat the open truck while Mom messed with the computer upstairs.
Said a rather sad farewell to Salem- he was bummed. Y'know, it really does suck when you KNOW there's no chance in hell you'll ever meet again, and I think he had a thing for me too. Sigh . . . Oh well.
My high school economics teacher (I forgot to mention that I ran into him in the DC Monday- he's at a week-long conference) passed by- he's going home too soon.
Got Yemmy's e-mail and Patricia's, but figured I'd never hear that from Ami- but as she left she:
a. hugged me goodbye
b. wanted to exchange e-mails
c. suggested getting together in the fall.
Well, go figure!
All this stuff put me in a REAL good mood. Which was a good thing too, because under normal circumstances I'd have been feeling an urge to play Lizzie Borden, as my parents were gripy (Mom) and pissy (Dad) all night, plus it took about three hours to stuff everything in the truck.
But I was feeling good and didn't care. Went around singing "The Boy Is Mine" in the parking lot. :)
Aren't all these emoticons annoying the hell outta ya by now? ;)
Hmmm, a thought I just had:
After so recently adjusting to the acceptance of singlehood, am I now going to have to adjust to couplehood after all eventually? There's a weird one for ya. Okay, not right away . . . and who knows how much or at all I'll even hear from him while I'm home, blah blah (I'm gonna be realistic here. After The Moron debacle, I certainly should be!)- but still . . . what a leap. Am I ready for this if things get like that? Guess we'll see . . . or not. Whatever. After all, I thought my thing with The Moron was gonna head that way too.
I'm still pretty happy, yet cautious.
My home e-mail is gr3ruth@pacbell.net, but I will warn you that it's not going to get checked as often as usual.
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