"Life is a free circus: all you have to do is pay attention." -Bill CopelandWhy is my life so soap-operatic?
It wasn't always like this. Throughout my childhood, things were quiet and normal. I was a quiet, shy, good little girl with quiet, shy, good little girl friends. Not much went on. Sure, I had a couple of infamously weird friends- but only a couple. I lusted after guys, but boy-related disasters happened less frequently. My family was still a pain, but they bugged me personally less. In short, pretty ordinary life.
Then when I got to high school . . . well, things changed a bit- people got a little weirder, more familial annoyance, yet another guy went for me that I wished hadn't- still not too bad.
The soap opera commenced at the start of my junior year of high school. I won some cool awards. The family really started to get on my case. It's when the boys started coming out of the woodwork,and I went to two proms when I hadn't expected to go to any.
Senior year was hell from September to May (when the senior activities kicked in, thank God). I was flipping out over where to go to college. My math grade went to hell. My dad broke his arm in thirteen places, and my mom started crying all the time about how "my baby is leaving me." My love life was a yo-yo of yes-I-want-you/no-I-don't. And y'all wonder why I'm nuts?
College, so far, has been the theme of doing everything I and everyone else I know never thought we'd do in a million years.
The first quarter was lovely, perfect, fun, excellent. Great time, loved the life, hardly anything soapish (unless you count Mike's lusting after half my roommates) about it.
Winter quarter (I hate winters!) my life took a nosedive. I had classes all day and night (boring classes), grades went down, Dad had to retire, my roommate dropped out, my SO (significant other if you didn't get that one) stopped talking to me, I started dating strange people, it was a mess. And did I mention that the weather SUCKED???
At college, I had grown quite addicted to being able to go on the Internet whenever I wanted, for free. I also started following a few sites that were based in journal entries. One of them allowed guest posts, so I did a few, had a great time. Hence my idea to do my own journal site.
I started this site at the end of March, on my spring break (which sucked too), to:
a. chronicle the events going on
b. force me to write more often
c. get some practice for writing a newspaper column for school (which I want to do this fall).
I watched soap operas for years, and am now into Internet soaps. Since I don't know too many people who have lives in which this many complications come up on a regular basis (I swear, someone's gotta be scripting this somewhere), I figured I'm another soap for people to follow.
I found this explanation here that I also liked:
"Because Nobody's Listening:Don't laugh. Some people do it for this reason, and I think perhaps this is the most serious reason that exists in journaling.
It's most often seen when the person is writing anonymously. Sometimes they don't want the people around them to know what's really going on in their heads. And sometimes they wish the people closest to them did know, but they're not able to get through to them. Maybe it's apathy. Maybe the ones they think are closest to them really aren't, and they need to talk about it.
Whatever it is, it gnaws at them from the inside. They have something to say, but they are also afraid someone they know will read it.
They may even not care who sees it. They just need to get it out.
Page last updated: January 16, 1999.
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