Balance Of Control

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings, my dearest friends. There is a great, warm current of strength and love gathered here. This blessing is the result of your efforts, of your growth, of your struggle in the right direction. Every single one of you is responsible for some of it. Every single one of you has contributed to it.

With this lecture I shall try to help you a step further toward the goal. What is the goal? Spiritual literature and religious teachings, in all cultures and in all places, in one form or another, century after century, always speak about the "Fall of the Angels," or the "Fall from Grace." What is really meant by this? Mankind usually interprets the "Fall" in a literal way, as an event in time and space. In other words, as something that happened once upon a time in a certain place. Through certain actions, the individuals in question were supposedly displaced from one spot to another -- or were sent down to another geographical sphere. This is a gross misunderstanding. What is really meant by the story, and what seems so hard for man to understand, is no more and no less than a change in a state of mind. To be separated from God is a state of mind, or a state of consciousness. And to return to God, to one's Creator, is, again, a state of consciousness.

After a certain stage has been reached on this path of development, then man discovers within himself a certain power and intelligence which feels as though it were a separate being, other than the usual conscious mind, the feeling that he has of himself. A vaster, different kind of being seems to be dwelling within. It is as though two brains exist. The second one, recently discovered, is much wiser and more satisfying in its guidance. It makes the person experience himself in a much more satisfying way.

However, this is an illusion, for there are not two separate entities. But at this point man has taken the first step toward his reunification with the Divine. He is no longer completely separated from it. Now he is able to be activated by it and moved by it. But it is an illusion to believe that there are two minds, or two consciousnesses, or two separate beings in existence. It is all one Consciousness, though still separated or divided. This separation constitutes what in religion is referred to as the "Fall of the Angels." In psychology a different terminology is used to describe the identical process. Integration means nothing more than reunification with the Divine. Psychology also acknowledges the fact that the integrated, healthy individual functions from the center of his being.

The separation from this center consists of a wall of not knowing that this inner center of wisdom, of love, and of power exists. The result of not knowing of its existence in you is that contact with it is not sought. Hence, more confusion, more error and more ignorance arise. The less the awareness of the existence of this inner center, the greater the separation from it must be.

When -- due to increased self-awareness -- parts of this wall begin to crumble, while other parts of the wall still persist, then occasional contact with the inner center gives one the impression that two minds -- in other words, two different beings -- are present. When parts of this inner self come forth -- carrying literally infinite possibilities for bliss, for good, and for limitless expansion -- then they seem to be totally unconnected with the familiar personality.

This inner center is the Divine Consciousness. It permeates the entire universe and it comprises all. The inner center of one human being is at one with the inner center of every other human being. All are filled with this living unity that knows no conflict and no limitation. The creative power at work in any life process is all one and the same. The separation of matter and consciousness is an illusion. This illusion is the real meaning of what religion refers to as the separation from God, or the Fall of the Angels. The goal is to work oneself back to the state of bliss that results from being integrated and from being in contact with the inner center. This is not only the goal of a path such as this, but the unconscious goal of every living being.

The power contained in the nucleus of your innermost being is so vast that you cannot conceive of it. Only gradually can you test it and see it at work -- and then marvel at it. At first you will see it in smaller ways, which nevertheless appear almost miraculous. As you perceive more and as you extend both your concepts and your vision, then you will see it work in many wonderful ways. If you choose to call it into being, then you will find this tremendous power to be so vast that you cannot conceive of having it, or being it, or of being activated by it. It is as simple as that.

At the moment most of you are still separated from it. As a result of this separation, you do not believe that you have all you need within you in order to expand, in order to be in harmony, and in order to be in the dynamic, creative life process in which you give and you receive all that you can possibly dream of.

Not being aware of this life center is directly connected with not being aware of the negative causes that you set in motion. This pathwork must be primarily concerned with uncovering the images, the wrong concepts, the destructive emotions, and the destructive behavior patterns. To the extent that these are changed, to that extent awareness of the Divine in you must follow. The impression of an apparently separate foreign consciousness dwelling within also occurs in respect to the negative part of the personality. When the first attemps are being made to bring to the surface hitherto unconscious destructive material, then the individual often feels as though an indwelling destructive entity over which he has no control were at work. At first he ascribes the negative events in his life to an outside fate, and therefore he fears both the world and life around him. When he uncovers his unconscious destructiveness, then he begins to fear his own unconscious, over which he as yet seems to have no control. Here, too, he feels as though two separate entities were involved: his familiar conscious self, with its own aims and its own thoughts, and the newly-discovered unconscious, with its own entirely opposite negative aims and its own destructive thoughts. As he proceeds in this work, he gradually eliminates the separating factors. He begins to own up to and to feel responsible for this indwelling entity. He connects with it and he can identify it. Hence he can take responsibility for it and become one with it. Now its workings are no longer separated from his conscious will. Thus man's ego integrates with a part of himself that has led him into blind alleys. But now the wiser ego can determine the way. The struggle between the educated ego and the indwelling destructive element ceases as soon as the outer ego is able to recognize its oneness with the destructive element.

The process is identical when man meets the divine center. At first man is just as unaware of it as he is of the destructive processes. As the mind questions its previous perception and begins to visualize new possibilities, what was buried begins to come to the fore. This process applies to the destructive elements as well as to the most constructive and creative elements in man. At first the manifestations of both seem to be disconnected from the self. Only as it is accepted that they are part of the self can the self first own up to them and then integrate with them. Then the negative dissolves in the integration process with the conscious ego and the Divine activates and moves the conscious ego more and more, until the ego becomes one with it.

Consider any momentary undesirable mood or undesirable situation that you seem unable to change. Somewhere in you there must be a point where you have deliberately produced the undesirable element, for otherwise you would not be in this situation. As long as you ignore the connection between your wanting the result that you now suffer from and your experiencing this result, then you must be frantic and frightened. However, you do your best not to admit this self-induced process, so you prefer to believe it to be the result of an unkind fate. In other words, you struggle against seeing your own involvement. But once you want to see the connection, then you will see it. Then you will be free, even while you are still imperfect. In the areas where you have made this recognition you no longer feel helpless and controlled by powers that you cannot understand. If you ignore the fact that your present predicament was created by you, and that it may still continue to be activated by you, then you truly defeat yourself. You must recognize this fact and thus eliminate your ignorance.

Consider that whatever you experience is the result of some cause that you yourself have set in motion. Say into yourself: "Somehow I must have produced it, perhaps unwittingly. Therefore, I want to see where and how I created it." Then let go and let your positive inner powers produce the answer. When you do this, then you must inevitably come into possession of this knowledge. In that moment you will experience the first inkling of peace and of a state of fearlessness, because then you are contemplating your own cause and effect within yourself. I have discussed this in different contexts before. The reason I repeat it here is because it is badly needed by a number of my friends and because the truth is easily forgotten when it has not become second nature in the process of growing. It must also be repeated to outline the parallel between the negative inner processes and the positive inner processes. The more aware you are of both possibilities within, the more you can identify both and the more you can integrate both parts of you, so that the negative dissolves and the positive takes over. But you cannot gain awareness of either unless you contemplate it and you cultivate it with your conscious ego. As you own up to the negative aspects in you, then you will be capable of claiming for yourself the greatest power there is. As you take ownership of and responsibility for the destructive in you, then you are no longer ruled by it. Therefore, you become capable of taking responsibility for the best in creation -- the Divine in you. When you are no longer ruled by the destructive because you accept it as being a part of you -- and thus you establish your self-determination -- then you shall be empowered by the vastest force in the universe and you will be activated by it to accomplish hitherto undreamed-of results. As you see how the destructive elements in you work and what motivates them, they will cease to frighten you, for then you will be able to determine the course. At the same time, you will no longer be frightened of the greatest positive power dwelling within you. You will be able to use it by building molds for it with your conscious mind. As long as man fears the destructive in him, then he must also fear the Divine in him. He will cease to fear the destructive only when he is willing to face it squarely.

Becoming integrated with your divine center does not happen all at once. These processes are gradual. There are many areas where you are already free and where you have established a direct contact with the center of your inner self, which brings you the most favorable consequences in inner and outer life experience. However, other areas may still be walled in by your lack of awareness. In those areas you may still not be cognizant of where and how you yourself activate the negative processes, and therefore you cannot bring yourself to consciously and deliberately activate the positive ones. Your will is blocked. Therefore, it is paralyzed. You may be perfectly capable to communicate with your inner nucleus -- and thus to be guided and moved by it in the most wonderful way -- in all the areas where you have gained freedom through awareness. But in the areas of unawareness -- in your blind spots -- you are incapacitated from doing the same. Hence, in those areas you are separated from knowing what destructive elements are at work. Therefore, you are disconnected from the power that will help you to grow out of it. For such situations, this lecture will be helpful.

In the course of your pathwork you will learn to understand how these laws work. You will learn how you can use the power of your mind and the power of your will. As you understand their potency, then you will no longer feel a separation between your conscious intelligence and your outer will -- which form your active mind and your outer personality -- and the vast inner self, the divine self, the center of your inner being, which is, at the same time, the center of the universe.

As long as you are separated from your center, then you must be weak and you must feel lost. Your separated brain and your human personality cannot do by themselves what can be accomplished solely in cooperation with your inner center. The levels of the outer personality serve one purpose. That purpose is to reach this inner being. They exist in order to know this inner being. They exist in order to conceive of the beauty and of the possibilities of this inner being. They exist in order to establish a conscious and deliberate contact with this inner center. The outer self has to allow itself to be guided, to be moved by, and to be filled with what comes forth from the inner self. When the outer personality consciously and deliberately makes room for it by removing the existing inner obstructions, then the inner self will manifest spontaneously. In this process the outer personality will eventually integrate with the inner nucleus.

When your outer self tries to accomplish that which the inner being alone is capable of doing, then you cannot succeed. You must come into confusion, into difficulties, into fear, and into pain. You must struggle in a most frustrating way. In its utter oblivion of the inner core, the outer self will try as hard as it can to control what it cannot control. This struggle must cause more tension, more anxiety, more of a sense of failure, and a greater fear of defeat. The exhaustion that results from this futile struggle -- with all its senseless outer pressure -- must also induce the personality to give up in the specific areas in which it is necessary to persevere. For purposeful activity the exact reversal is needed. Where the personality presses, forces, and pushes what is necessary is letting go and giving up to a superior force within the self. And where the personality gives up in a hopeless, resigned way, without formulating the specific thoughts that can activate the inner nucleus, there effort and will are in order. Unfortunately, often the line of least resistance prevails in the thought processes which indulge in negativity, while the outer will fights, struggles, and presses for a desired result that cannot come as long as the inner faculties are left out of commission. This tense and anxious pushing occurs in a subtle but way, but nevertheless a real way. It is usually directed toward the behavior of others who one feels have to behave in a certain way to enable the self to accomplish its goal. This pushing is also directed toward the resisting self, which cannot be forced to feel differently as long as the personality ignores that definite reasons exist for its resistance.

This imbalance of control will be observed within the personality when you progress on this path. As it is observed, then it can be corrected. You will be acutely conscious of how you give in to your most destructive thought patterns and to your most negative emotions. In other words, you will see how in this respect you choose the line of least resistance. Now that your negative aspects are no longer hazy, their effect can be evaluated. Then you will be able to halt them and to choose a constructive pattern of thinking, of feeling, and of willing. In the area of your momentary problem you will reach inside and you will formulate the constructive wish necessary to consciously and deliberately activate the vast divine self that dwells deep within you.

This is not difficult. In fact, it is a much easier action than what you are doing, of the struggle that you go through. This is all you have to say: "I know that I cannot solve this problem with my outer being alone. But I know that I must be in a state of confusion and untruth because I am driven to think, I am driven to feel, and I am driven to act in a way that produces only hopelessness, only fear, only frustration, and only feelings of doubt. I want to consciously and deliberately contact and activate the most constructive center of my innermost being and I want it to move me into the thoughts that I need to have at this moment. I want it to move me into the realizations which I need to have at this moment. I want it to move me into the productive actions that are appropriate in this moment. I want it to move me into the feelings that are good and loving in this moment." Then let go and let it be. Let it move you. Let it think through you. Let it feel through you. This is all you have to do. In this way you activate that most potent live center. Then it will guide you from step to step.

The process I just described is obviously not a one-time and final action. At the beginning you may pull yourself together and follow through on this advice, and therefore you will experience the most favorable results. But then you may assume that this is all there is to it and therefore that no further steps are needed. This is a major mistake, for this does not suffice. For you are still at the beginning of this integration. It does not yet exist without a conscious and deliberate effort on your part. It must be worked for by the same process of activation. That is, first of conceiving the proper thoughts and the proper will; then of formulating them so as to call forth this inner center. And the process must be repeated. Each juncture presents different roadblocks, which have to be recognized and eliminated every time. Each time your difficulties and your negativities appear, then you must stop fighting against your negativity that seems so easy to give in to. Instead, you must fight to contact your inner being. This is not so hard. On the contrary, it is rather easy. Each time you contact it, then another aspect of that separating wall in you will be removed. More understanding and more life must come to you. Eventually you will feel this power that moves you as your power. You will feel a oneness between your outer self and this center that you have to call into manifestation by a conscious and deliberate thought process. Eventually it will no longer seem as though a second consciousness existed in you. Nor will it seem as though the results in your life had nothing to do with you. You will be connected with both the negative causes that you had not seen before and with the positive powers that you never dreamed possible. This connection will result in filling you with productive thoughts of truth, with a desire for expansion, and with a wider vision of your innate possibilities. Then each situation that you find yourself in will offer you many possibilities for desirable results, for solutions, and for creative growth.

My friends, you cannot come out of any difficulty if you trust your outer mind exclusively. Therefore, let your outer mind be filled with your inner being. Only then can you find the way out of each one of your problems.

The re-establishment of balance regarding mind control can best be demonstrated with the following example. Every human being needs love, and therefore wants love. When you are separated from the center within, then your approach to obtaining love is a reversal of control. When a proper balance of control exists in this respect, then man gives of himself freely and fearlessly. At the same time, he lets the loved one free. In other words, he does not force the loved one, he does not need to possess the loved one, he does not need to own the loved one. In short, he does not need to exert a tight control over the loved one or to pressure the loved one. Therefore he cannot be owned or controlled. Hence, he need not fear to love and to be loved. In this frame of mind he must realize that love is the greatest freedom, that it must come to him if he lets it, and that he does not have to fight for it or to push for it. He can let others free because he knows that he receives what is his. And love is his because he does not block it, because he does not fear it or resist it. Love is a floating continuum that can never be taken away from him as long as he does not take it away from himself. There is no end to it as long as he does not end it. It is utterly safe -- in other words, there is no danger and no conflict attached to it. Therefore, to give of himself, to love, and to contribute do not imply a loss of control. He is self-determining in the true sense of the word. The true control is his, without any tightness or fear.

But in distortion, in false control, then man is in an either/or situation. He is not loving and letting free. He envisages either the false version of love or the false version of letting free. To love in the distorted way is martyrdom, it is self-effacing submission, and it is self-destruction -- all for the sake of the loved one. To be loved in the distorted version is to be completely possessed by the loved one, and therefore to be controlled by the loved one. Hence, the fear exists that to love means possession, that to love means submission, that to love means martyrdom. You yearn for love, yet you are afraid of it, and therefore you resist it. The individual rightly doubts his power to own and to control another person to the exclusive extent that he believes it to be necessary. The fear of being controlled (to be loved) and the fear of not being able to control (to love) lead to the false version of letting free. This is withdrawal, it is indifference, it is non-involvement, it is non-commitment, it is the numbness of feelings, it is separateness, and it is the refusal to love.

When man is involved in this distortion, then he cannot see that love and freedom are one. He must associate love with the lack of freedom. Even if intellectually he knows better, emotionally he cannot experience the mutual freedom of true love.

Such a struggle cannot be resolved with the outer mind, with the outer intellect and with the outer will alone. Therefore, activate your inner center by expressing your intent to give of yourself fearlessly. In other words, without the fear of being controlled. Express your desire to feel and to experience the oneness of love and freedom. Say that you first want to experience it for yourself and then that you want to grant it to the other. Then request guidance to get you to this stage by establishing the necessary sense of integrity and the necessary self-acceptance. You will discover that the more you love, the more freedom you have, and therefore the more selfhood you have. If you express this possibility as a formulated thought, and if you activate your inner powers to help you to experience it, then you must come out of whatever problem you may find yourself in at the moment.

Your loneliness, your fears, and your conflicts come down to this: You do not do the only purposeful thing you need to do, and that is to activate the divine nucleus within you. It is the only real control. It is a relaxed and productive control. It is precisely this inner center which can solve all your problems, if only you let it. And you let it only when you call upon it. This inner being -- which is right in you -- knows and understands the process of love without danger; of giving love and freedom, and therefore of receiving love and remaining free. Your outer self does not understand this. You cannot produce a state of mind which you do not truly comprehend. Your inner self can help you. But you have to call upon it.

Your inner nucleus -- with all of its powers -- can solve all your problems, whatever they are. Whatever your misconceptions are, this indwelling consciousness can change them into truthful states of mind. It is always ready to respond, but it must be contacted specifically. Then it will fill you with new thoughts, with new outlooks, and with new ideas that are both stimulating and challenging. It will lead you into feelings of truth and beauty. Its guidance is invaluable. If you call upon it, then it must respond, for that is the law. This is not magic, it is not an inconceivably difficult feat that you have to master. If you so choose, then you can do it right now.

All constructive actions and all productive experiences in life come forth from this inner center, from your innermost self, from your nucleus, from the divine substance that is with you and in you at all times. But it cannot respond unless your outer mind -- which is separated from this nucleus -- consciously and deliberately establishes contact with it.

The comprehension and the following through of this process is the greatest need that all of you have now. No matter how much we have talked about it in this or that fashion, it is still forgotten, overlooked, neglected, not acted upon. You give in too easily to the negative in you, to the destructive in you. You entrust yourself too readily to the outer mechanics where the negative processes sweep you into a vortex. The negative chain is started consciously and deliberately at one point. But then it gets out of hand, until it seems that you can no longer control it. But you can. All it takes is the formulation of the right thought and of the right desire. But you have to do this again and again. This is the only effort that you need to make. It is the kind of effort that you constantly need in order to go through life. When you remain separated from your inner nucleus, then you are needlessly exhausted. You do not make that one effort to consciously and deliberately contact your inner powers so that they can activate you and fill you with what you need most. When you do not make this particular effort, then you use a hundred times more energy than would be necessary for you if only you chose to make this one specific effort. This wasted energy produces failure and disappointment. In other words, precisely in the one area where you need to persevere most, instead you give in to the line of least resistance. You make a tremendous effort to escape the negativity that you yourself have produced in the first place, the negativity that you have chosen to give in to.

When this process is reversed and you begin to use your energy in order to consciously and deliberately contact the powers within you so as to halt your destructive processes, then you will be activated by the powers and by the wisdom within you. This is a spontaneous process that comes effortlessly. But first you must pull your thoughts together and you must want to entrust yourself to the divine powers within yourself. In other words, you must make the effort. That is, you must clearly formulate the desire to come out of a negative inner situation or the wish to come out of an undesirable outer situation. After you have formulated such a constructive desire, then reach for your inner powers and ask them to lead the way step by step.

Do not doubt the existence of your inner core, my friends. But even if some of you have not as yet sufficiently experienced it -- even if you still doubt -- you can follow through this process anyway. In other words, you can always express a clearly formulated desire for a constructive result. Even while you doubt the existence of a greater wisdom and of a divine power within yourself -- which is immediately accessible -- you can honestly test it and allow it to manifest if it exists. If you merely argue against it, instead of trying it, then you are not honest in your doubt. You have nothing to lose, for you have amply experienced that relying solely on your outer faculties is precisely what has gotten you into the undesirable situation that you find yourself in now. Your outer pressure, your tension, and your forcing current are what has gotten you in trouble. Nothing else has. So try it this way now. Entrust yourself to these inner powers, which you do not have to pressure or to direct after you formulate the thoughts of constructive will. Then you will see them work.

My friends, here I have given you a key that could get you across a major threshold, but only if you use it. In other words, only if you use mind control in the way I describe, instead of the way you have been using mind control. You may find areas in which you already do what I have just described. And you will see that in those areas your life is very successful. Things go smoothly and effortlessly. In fact, you no longer have to make an effort with your outer mind to formulate a constructive desire to contact your inner being, for there unity has already been established. There you already have come home. Your consciousness is completely constructive in all of its expressions. The inner aspects and the outer facets of your consciousness are united. There is no division. In these areas you are in harmony, and there is no trace of destructiveness in motivation in the remotest recesses of your personality. What religion refers to as salvation has taken place in these areas. Psychology refers to the same as integration, as mental health, as emotional maturity.

At the same time, other areas of your personality are still in the dark regions of conflict, of error, of doubt, of ignorance, and of destructiveness. If you use this key I have given you in those specific areas, then you can accelerate the process of your development.

False control strengthens your wall of separation. Eliminate this wall by contacting your deeper and vaster faculties so as to activate you, even while your wall is still present. You should make this your main concern at this time. Use this key in whatever area you see fit and where you feel that you have the greatest need at any given moment of each day. The more resourceful you become in consciously and deliberately formulating your needs where you want your inner center to guide you, to inspire you, to activate you -- and therefore to fill you with truth, to fill you with a constructive outlook, and to fill you with positive energy -- the more perfect the manifestations of your center will become. It will manifest in so many ways and in such different ways that it will fill you with security and with trust, trust in yourself and trust in the life process.

Ask this constructive power -- this nucleus of perfection, of beauty, of health, and of wisdom -- to give you the right ideas for removing your separating wall. Request it to inspire you with the most effective meditation at any given moment, so that even your outer mind -- which must take the first step to establish contact with your inner center -- will be filled with the power and with the wisdom of your core. Thus the interaction will work both ways. The more you cultivate this process, the safer you must feel, and the more you will realize that no problem is without a solution. Your salvation lies exclusively in reuniting your outer mind with your inner nucleus. This salvation is near -- with all its truth, with all its light, with all its relief, with all its happiness. But it never occurs to you. If you go into this deep center of yourself, then the answers will come forth. Enlightenment must follow, and therefore the crisis will inevitably disappear.

A greater force of love and power cannot be activated. Many of you reading these words have not only understood, but you have also gained insight, hope, and light. This light will show that you are not dependent on an outer power which you have to try to coerce, to submit to, or to cajole. It is an immediately available power inside of you. It is so secure and so wonderful. Some of you have perceived it and are on the verge of using it where it is most needed. If you do so, then you will soon be out of your crisis or out of your painful confusion.

Be blessed, all of you. Be in peace. Be in God.

October 29, 1965

Copyright 1965, by Eva Pierrakos

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