Unconscious Negativity Endangers Surrender Of The Ego To The Involuntary Processes

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings. Blessings, my dearest friends. May you be affected deeply in your unconscious by this lecture -- just as much as you can assimilate these words in your conscious mind. May you open your heart and your inner being, so that deep understanding will become possible, an understanding which is not necessarily connected with an intellectual group, although the latter is usually the first step.

In the recent lectures I have concentrated, in one form or another, on giving you an understanding of the relationship between the ego consciousness and the universal intelligence. We have discussed this topic from many different angles, both directly and indirectly, and we shall continue to do so. For no human being can be truly healthy and in balance with himself and the forces around him unless a harmonious relationship exists between the ego and the universal intelligence within.

When man is primarily identified with the ego, and therefore functions out of the ego, then he must be in imbalance. He must be enmeshed in problems. It is equally correct to state that if he has unresolved inner problems, then such an imbalance is inevitable. For, no matter what side you look at, in the end it always adds up to the same: The ego must learn to let go of itself. No matter how much intellectual knowledge exists about the lesser role which the ego plays as opposed to the universal intelligence, such intellectual understanding alone will never suffice. Therefore you have to look for new avenues and new approaches within yourselves to find it possible to let go in a healthy, harmonious way.

This lecture will deal with this topic. I hope that what I say will open a few more doors for some of my friends. When the ego is in predominant control of the business of living and of the functions of life, then life dries up, it starves, it withers. It literally dies off. For it cannot replenish itself at the source, where all life springs from. That source is the divine self, the universal self within each individual being. The process of death itself will perhaps appear in a new light for you when you look at it from this point of view. The spiritual entity that is incarnated as man is precisely man in the state of his overall consciousness condensed into the coarse matter which is the substance of material existence. He is incarnated in matter because a separated part of the overall consciousness -- a part which we call the ego -- is disconnected from the total being, from the universal self.

This disconnectedness causes the ego state, thus material life, thus the cycle of life and death. If a human being overcomes the separation, then the process of dying must be equally overcome. If there is no longer a fear of letting go of the ego, then a melting with the universal forces becomes possible. This is not a faraway state, to be contemplated in a hereafter. It is possible at any time and at any place, since it is a question of one's state of consciousness.

There are various states and processes in material life which afford man the possibility to replenish himself from the universal source. One of the most automatic, generally accessible of these states is sleep. A human being who is deeply troubled is so because he is too enmeshed in his ego. Insomnia occurs precisely because the ego is too predominant. As a result, the involuntary forces of life cannot take over. They are hindered by the ego -- perhaps the unconscious ego, but nevertheless the ego -- which does not want to relinquish any of its controls. If all the involuntary forces are feared, and therefore are rejected, then the various states in which a temporary submerging into the real self can be possible are blocked off. Incidentally, those states also vary as to the degree and the intensity of the submergence. Each state fulfills a specific function and taps different channels of the universal self. Thus, for instance, sleep merely affords rest from the ego tensions and from the ego chores. The type of strength that flows into the personality during this particular immersion into the universal forces has different characteristics from the type of strength that comes from other states of immersion into the divine ocean of being.

When a person's ego is overactive, then sleep cannot come. Even this most primitive and universal form of replenishment ceases to function.

Another state of replenishment is mutual involvement with and love betweeen the sexes. Healthy self-forgetfulness makes it possible for the ego to dip into the vast sea of the universal power and beauty. This happens through the encompassing love for and the acceptance of another sphere, of another being. The total acceptance of, the transcending good will toward, and the consequent melting into another being is precisely the kind of attitude which is compatible with the universal forces. Thus, it leads to an experience that involves all levels of being: the mental, the emotional, the spiritual and the physical. Therefore it is the most total spiritual experience that man can have. In other states where the ego can let go of itself, the experience is never that inclusive of all of man's being.

The more completely man partakes of the universal reality, the more he must be replenished. Then he is nourished with the creative substance in all its splendor. When the ego is truly immersed, then it is temporarily given a much lesser place of functioning. When it re-emerges, then it is stronger, better than ever, more flexible, wiser, and filled with the pleasure supreme that all human beings long for. When the ego dips into the vast ocean of universal forces, then the personality can never be the same as it was before. Not only is it enriched beyond measure, but its capacity to submerge, to surrender, to be blissful, to love, and to be in truth grow proportionately. The most effective and the most intense form of melting the ego with the universe is through another entity, via the capacity to forget and to transcend oneself.

Another state is a deep, a profound meditation. This is not a cerebral exercise of the mind, but a giving oneself up to the divine, to the intelligence and the truth of the universal forces. However, this should not be done generally -- for that is too easy and can easily deceive -- but specifically. In other words, where the personal hurdles and barricades bar the way because of the fear of truth within the self. When these hurdles are overcome because the love of truth is greater -- and thus surrender to the greater truth becomes possible -- then the ocean of wisdom can replenish man's being. As the truth is first accepted and then assimilated, this new wisdom can also open all the doors.

Each of the examples I cite here is an experience where the ego transcends itself, where it lets go, where it gives itself up, and then partakes of something greater within. In the ideally healthy life all of these experiences are sought and are pursued, more or less regularly. The individual makes these experiences possible through his attitude, through his readiness, and through his active interest. If this is the case, then his entire life will eventually be activated by the greater intelligence and the power within, until it and the ego are one. It encompasses everything, so that the ego is always flowing, always flexible, always relaxed, and always permeated by the knowledge, by the power, and by the pleasure of the real self. Every activity, no matter how mundane, is permeated by the real self, which works freely. Now the effort required to overcome fear and resistance in order to contact the real self is no longer needed.

The more the ego is dipped into the greater being, the more life will replenish itself. Conversely, to the degree these experiences are hindered because of obstructions in the personality -- which the ego is unwilling to remove -- to that degree life dries out. Consequently, various degrees of death set in. Actual physical death is the natural end result of a process of drying out, of separating the ego from the source of all life.

It is important for you to understand this deeply, my friends, for then we can go a step further. Then we can investigate why man is so frightened of precisely that which represents life and which gives life. In other words, why he reacts as if it were -- and even believes it to -- his death, his annihilation, the end of his being. Why does man persistently and consistently, either consciously or unconsciously, believe that precisely the kinds of experiences which I mentioned are dangerous to him because the ego control is abandoned and the self is immersed into a vaster consciousness and lawfulness? In other words, why does he, either consciously or unconsciously, hinder these experiences? For he does so, no matter how much he also strives for them -- since the longing for them cannot ever be eradicated from the human heart, no matter how much conflict, how many misconceptions, and how much fear exist in man. Yet why does man cling to those attitudes in him that hinder all replenishment, that dry out the psyche, that cause death, and that make life unpleasurable and bleak? Why does he believe that just that represents life and safety? These are puzzling questions indeed. We have investigated this topic and we have come across many reasons, or pseudo reasons, why man believes that he must protect himself from the very thing that makes him alive and vibrant with well being. We have seen superficial false conclusions and shortsighted character attitudes of defeatism that make man so destructive that he would rather forfeit his life than give in -- for this is how self-surrender appears to him. Let us now look a little deeper. There comes a point in everyone's path when this becomes the most important threshold in the evolutionary process.

Before we go into this more deeply, I wish to say once again that the need of man to transcend the ego, to let go of it, is so great that when the distorted and fearful personality hinders this natural process, then unnatural processes are sought. This is why people yearn for the sensation that drugs give. This is why a person suffering from insomnia will resort to sleeping pills, rather than remove the block of the ego and transcend it. This is also why the person whose ego is in predominant control -- and who therefore does not obtain sufficient replenishment -- is compelled to pursue self-destructive aims. For every form of self-destructiveness is a gesture of courting death, of walking toward it. And death is the great relief that the personality seeks when all the other avenues of relief from ego control fail, due to the personality's stubborn refusal and to its false ideas. All self-destruction is a slow form of suicide. Death is unconsciously longed for to the precise degree that it is feared. The longing is there because the perpetual wakefulness of an isolated ego becomes unbearable.

Thus man finds himself in ambivalence. On the one hand he fears letting go of the ego in the healthy way, and on the other hand he strives for letting go of the ego in an unhealthy way. This is one of the many dualities that constantly accrue from the state of separateness.

Now let us come to the fundamental reason why man fears the healthy and blissful state in which he allows the involuntary forces to guide him and to live him, as it were. In other words, why he cannot trust the wisdom and the greater order of the real self, of the divine being in him. Of course, those reasons we shall discuss here are at first unconscious. It is an essential step on everyone's path to bring them into the clear daylight of consciousness before any change is possible. For as long as the personality tries to force a change before the destructive attitude is conscious, then nothing real can be accomplished. Change will not be possible, due to the still unconscious obstruction.

Now as to the cause of this condition of predominant ego control. There is a lawfulness that makes it hazardous for the ego to let go of itself as long as the ego is attached to attitudes which are incompatible with the laws of the greater reality. If this sentence is truly understood, then you will have your key. In other words, where destructiveness is pursued and is held on to, then letting go of the ego becomes absolutely impossible in a healthy, safe, and life-giving way. An ego is healthy when its attitudes are loving, generous, open, trusting, realistic, and self-assertive. All of this is part of the greater reality and of the lawfulness of the divine substance. The violation of these attitudes nurtures hate, separateness, distrustfulness, illusion, weakness, and the tendency to damage the self and to forego its best interests. Such an unhealthy ego is striving for the opposite of the lawfulness of the divine within. Hence it is not equipped to take care of itself. Consequently, life must be fraught with fear and with insecurity. The longing for escape from the tension of the ego, as well as from the perpetual unpleasantness, may lead to unhealthy ego liberation and to insanity because the thus liberated ego is unsupported by anything that can give it real substance. This, too, is important to grasp in its full significance.

Some of my friends who have made sufficient progress on their path to have come face to face with their own destructiveness will understand what I am saying here a little better. They will surely benefit more than those of my friends who are as yet unaware of the fact that they are destructive. In other words, that they do not wish to be positive, that they do not wish to give their best to life -- in whatever area they are still unhappy, unfulfilled, and in conflict. This lack of awareness makes it impossible to go through the threshold I am now discussing. It is absolutely necessary for you to see yourself in this destructiveness. See yourself in that way for a while, with the detached, objective self-evaluation that comes from a deep self-acceptance and from the determination to do away with self-glorification and illusions about the self. The claim to be more than what one is must be abandoned before such a healthy self-observation can take place.

If the ego -- including the unconscious part of the ego -- is attached to a destructive attitude, then it is incompatible with the universal forces. Therefore when it lets go of itself, then it is unsupported. In other words, it has no hold, no security, nothing to rely on. Therefore, it becomes totally disorganized and disintegrated. An ego that is not sustained, guided, and inspired by the real self, the universal self cannot cope with anything. It becomes completely disassociated from any intelligence. Therefore, in a way the ego is right in not letting go, for as long as the destructiveness is not being given up, then at least it retains a modicum of sanity. The exaggerated self-governing of an aggrandized ego condition is preferable to disintegration. And disintegration is inevitable when the outer or ego personality is not compatible with the universal self. If the superior universal forces are not trusted, then an ego that gives itself up has nothing else. When the ego distrusts the universal forces, then there is no intelligence, no logic, no lawfulness other than the ego's. No matter how limited the separated ego intelligence is in comparison with the greater self, it still possesses some reason and some grasp of a limited reality. Without the ego there is no will -- regardless of whether the greater, divine will is negated or is unconsciously defeated.

This is why there is such a deep fear of letting go. This is a tremendously important thing for you to understand at this point, for it enables you to approach yourself from the other end as well. When you feel yourself unable to let go, then you know that destructive forces and negative attitudes are still rampant deep within you. In other words, somewhere within you there is a will to be negative and destructive. Once you become aware of it, then you will see that this negative will is deliberate. In other words, there is nothing that forces you against your will. This seems so only as long as you deny this area because you do not wish to admit such a thing, perhaps contrary to your self-image. The reason this destructiveness causes fear and insecurity is because you do not wish to face it and to acknowledge it, let alone to give it up. Knowing this puts you into an entirely different position toward yourself: self-delusion is eliminated. Thus the destructiveness is lessened, no matter how much you still want to be destructive in certain areas. When I say destructive, I mean the many ways in which the ego self clings to separating attitudes. Perhaps the subtle way of not wanting to expand and love others; perhaps the separating attitude of wanting to be vindictive and to punish others by one's own suffering. These are subtle and vague feelings, they are fleeting attitudes. They are so elusive that they almost seem non-existent, until one catches them and looks them squarely in the face. Then they become quite distinct. Perhaps the destructive attitude is to secretly think: "No one knows whay I really think and what I really feel. Therefore it does not count." This is a prevalent attitude toward one's undesirable attitudes. One glosses over them and one assumes that their secrecy devaluates them. Any effect which they produce in spite of their secrecy is felt to be a gross injustice, in the spirit of: "But they did not know what I felt and if I had felt as I pretended, then their reaction would be unjust." This thinking harbors the illusion that life can be cheated. It reflects one's most significant and telling attitude toward life. It tells the sad story that you do not give yourself honestly to the business of living but that you make appearance and pretense the criteria according to which you wish to be judged and to reap results. Under such circumstances trust in life is impossible.

Catch those moments and you will see how you do not take life seriously, how you do not lend yourself wholly and fully to whatever you do. This activity of catching one's hidden dishonesties is the kind of constructiveness that is compatible with the divine substance. You should approach yourself in the attitude of saying to yourself -- and meaning it: "I want to give my best to the process of living. I want to give my best to every aspect of my life. I want to contribute the best forces that are within me. I want to pay attention to this. Where I do not do this yet and I am too blind to be aware of it, then I wish the universal intelligence in me to guide me to this awareness." With such a sincerely-meant attitude, then something new is set in motion in that very moment. The more you assume such an attitude -- and it is important to approach life in that manner, no matter where the problem areas are and what your daily difficulties are -- the more does the ego self become compatible with the real self. Therefore, the fear of letting go of the ego diminishes proportionately because then man has something much larger and much more reliable to trust in. By first calling upon and then activating the divine will through the manifestation of the real self, one cannot help but convince oneself of its reality, of its wisdom, of its utter goodness. One cannot help discovering its all-encompassing love that knows no conflict. It works out to everyone's fulfillment, bliss, and happiness. This undivided intelligence and this inexorable fulfillment is deeply safe and wholly trustworthy. But as long as the ego's aims, the ego's attitudes, and the ego's inclinations are diametrically opposed to the laws of the universal intelligence, then how can one possibly trust in the universal intelligence? Therefore, when man feels shaky, when he feels insecure within himself, when he feels anxious, when he feels frightened, and when he underestimates his value, then he must look for a destructive attitude, for a negativity that he is as yet unwilling to relinquish.

When you feel anxious, then ask yourself: "Where am I destructive? Where am I negative? Where do I refuse to accept the universal laws, so that, as a result, I do not give myself to the divine within me?"

In the last analysis, happiness always amounts to the basic virtues that religion teaches. In the end it is always a question of love, which is the key to the universe. But preaching it for thousands of years has not really helped. Often it has merely made man more hypocritical. He deluded himself that he was loving, while underneath this was often not the case. He covered feelings that were the opposite of love with a superficial veneer that gave the appearance of love. Such a cover-up is often mere self-deception, for most of the time others are not deceived.

How often does man claim that his weakness is love, when inwardly he is actually seething with resentments and with vindictiveness? He claims that his possessiveness and a dominating will to control are love, while inwardly he merely wants to win and to have his own way. He claims that an arrogant, unhealthy pride is self-love, when inwardly he merely wishes to be better than others and not to give an inch to them. All these self-deceptions have to be unmasked, my friends. For even among those of you who pursue this path and have made great progress in your self-realization there are still some who are blind to such areas.

Where man holds on -- in his blind self-deception -- to such attitudes, in those specific areas he does not want to give of himself. Thus, he violates the law of love. The violation of the law of love is that which ultimately ails everyone who is troubled. This is what must be investigated in everyone who has an unhappiness: "Where is this violation? Where do I keep myself separated? Where and how do I impair my integrity -- in a direct way or in an indirect way? Where do I delude myself about myself? Where do I refuse to give of myself?" These are the questions that must be asked and that must be answered. The answer often lies in a different direction and is true in a different way than you might have thought.

Ego existence -- being totally attached to to the ego level of the personality, and therefore holding on to the ego -- causes fear and insecurity. It is such an insufficient life. It is such a finite life. This is always frightening, for no one really wants to end being. But the separated ego must end. Only by finding one's way back -- within the self -- into the greater truth, into the reality that is the law of love and the law of truth, only by having done so can the ego safely give itself to the Divine Being within.

Are there any questions on this topic?

QUESTION: I am becoming aware of some negative chain reactions in me, and of the harm they do. I realize that I have no feelings but that I act according to reflexes. I also recognize how I manipulate myself in producing false fears. The moment I could fully see this, then the compulsion stopped somewhat. The only time I have some good feelings is when I read these lectures. I am able to work with them. I think I understand them. I also have good feelings when I really meditate. At times I can feel the flow of my creative forces about to flow through my whole being -- and I stop it. What can you say about all this?

ANSWER: Actually I already said it in this lecture. The answer is really in here. I could add that you would have to look for and then find in what particular respect you violate the law of love. Now that your false, pretended love has been uncovered and has been disclosed as weakness and as a desire to placate others so as to use them for your own ends, it will not be so difficult to do this. You have to find out in what way you cling to a negative attitude. This is why you fear the involuntary forces of your spontaneous good feelings. To the degree that you cling to negative attitudes, and therefore to negative feelings, to that degree you must fear the positive ones. On that level you have made a choice. You would rather indulge in your resentments, in your self-pity, in making cases against others, and in the illusion of being injured -- for all this affords you a certain pleasure that you are unwilling to give up. The price that one pays is high, high indeed. As long as you choose this pleasure -- with all of its pain, its guilt, its discomfort, and its insecurity -- you forfeit the good feelings which are your birthright, feelings which have no conflict about them. The good feelings must actually appear frightening as long as the bad feelings are cherished. To the degree you abandon your self-pity, you abandon your self-victimization, you abandon your resentments, you abandon your blame of others whom you make responsible for your condition, you abandon your claim to be constantly injured, to that degree you will not fear your good feelings.

QUESTION: I found out that it is almost impossible for me to trust completely -- on almost any level. The deeper I go, the more I confirm this. Sometimes it is not apparent at all. This must connect with not wanting to let go of the ego. What I would like to know is that if certain areas are cleared of negativity, is it then automatically that you trust completely, without an effort?

ANSWER: Yes, it is automatic. It is like a see-saw, or a scale. I discussed this see-saw process before. And many of my friends on the path have actually experienced it. Let us take self-dislike as an example. It cannot be deliberately abandoned. When this is attempted, then it fails. To the extent that the justified reasons for self-dislike are removed, to that extent the self-dislike stops itself. So it is here with trust. You will trust yourself automatically when you find the justified reasons for distrusting yourself. The process is always an automatic re-establishment of balance. The best thing you could do in such a state is to strengthen yourself daily with a specific meditation. Say to yourself: "I want to give up all my destructiveness. If I cannot do so yet, then I request the real self, the divine substance in me, to help me to see where I am stuck and to help me out of it. For this is what I want." If you feel yourself not wanting it, then do not gloss over this all-important, crucial obstruction. Rather, take that as the point of departure. Then say into yourself: "I would like to find out exactly why I do not want the good. What blocks me from wanting it, in whatever area it may be?" Then continue to say: "I wish I could want it. What is it that blocks me? I want to give my best to this phase of working on where I am stuck." If you proceed in this way, then success must come. Success is impossible when you look away from such a point where you are stuck.

QUESTION: Since yesterday I am aware of a very deep tendency of disliking people, almost inadvertently. It is frightening to me how this separating attitude makes it impossible for me to appreciate people at all. It was suggested to me yesterday in my private session that I should not try to get out of it per se, but instead that I should perhaps explore its origin and its ramifications. Could you comment on this?

ANSWER: Yes, such dislike -- including dislike of yourself, since this is inextricably bound together -- is also a question of distrusting. Therefore, in these explorations I would advise you to look at the following: you assume that many of the things happening to you are so bad that no redeeming circumstances exist for you. The interpretation that you give to those incidents is exaggerated and is extremely distorted. You need to look with a new outlook at everything that has hurt you and that has upset you in the past as far as you can remember, as well as in the present. You need to take into consideration the possibility that there exists another meaning apart from the one that you automatically assume, take for granted. Everything that you see has such a finality and such exclusiveness for you that no other possibility but the most devastating one is conceivable to you. First you need to recognize this attitude in its full significance and then you must cultivate the desire to change it for the sake of seeing reality. You falsely assume that whatever you see, either in someone or in a situation, is the whole thing. It never occurs to you that -- apart from the situation or the person being different from what you assume -- what you have seen is at best only one part of the whole picture. This realization automatically alters your perception. Ask yourself about anything that you assume to be a certain way, about anything that you take for granted: "Is this the whole truth? Is what I assume or what I see at first glance all there is to it, or could there be other aspects that I ignore because I close myself up to a wider reality?" This is one aspect where you can broaden your vision and thus expand your horizon. For you still experience in terms of the infant, who only sees the moment and that is all.

The second aspect about which I would like to advise you is to ask yourself the question whether you want to like people. What is the answer? Feel into yourself.

QUESTION: My mental processes tell me that I need to like people, but I feel resistance. Where do I go from here?

ANSWER: This is your conflict. It is wonderful when a person is aware of such a conflict. For most people also have similar conflicts but they are not aware of them. This awareness is the necessary prerequisite to finding the way out of your suffering. It makes it possible for you to look at the side that says No. Ask yourself: "Why not?" Do not theorize, no matter how correct these general theories prove to be. It will be more helpful for you to come up with the specific answer as it applies to you. Ask yourself with a fresh, new approach why you do not wish to like people. And do not be afraid to give yourself childish, irrational, illogical answers. Allow anything that comes forth. Then you will know the truth about your specific No.

Before a person can develop his capacity to love, he first must have the willingness to love. As long as that willingness is lacking, then nothing can be done. This willingness to do so is the crux. It must exist on all levels for the love to be whole. In other words, if it only exists superficially and does not exist in the depths of your feelings, then the manifestation of love that you experience will correspond to it. If you are unaware of your unwillingness to love, then you will complain about the results. Therefore, you will feel yourself to be victimized. As long as you waste your energies on complaining and on feeling victimized, then it means that you are enmeshed in a vicious circle. Your destructive projections and your blaming of others consume the energy that you need for loving, for getting the love you want, and for first looking at the self and then finding out what is amiss. When you ask yourself why you do not wish to love -- and you answer this question precisely and honestly -- then you will know why your capacity to love does not function. Consequently, you will understand your loneliness. Therefore, you will no longer believe that fate is playing some kind of trick on you. This is a wonderful step. I will not give you the answer as to why you do not wish to love. This answer must come from yourself. All I can say is that misconceptions and destructiveness hang on to you because you hang on to them. Once they are out in the open, then it will be relatively easy for you to overcome them.

This lecture can become a milestone for some of you. It can represent the cultimating point that you have needed. I can see that something is already happening with a few of you. A basic destructiveness is being abandoned through your courage to face it squarely. Hence the divine can be activated. This transition is the most significant thing that can happen in an individual's life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can equal this process. Therefore, no one who lacks the courage to look at himself in truth and to abandon his self-illusions and his delusions can come to such a transition. For you cannot abandon a negativity that you ignore you have. You cannot give up a destructiveness that you deny exists in you. Truth leads to love, and therefore love without truth is impossible. For they are one.

My most beloved friends, a great power is becoming more available to all of you. This power is not dependent on any other being, but is flowing from your innermost self. Eventually it will flow forth at all times. It will nourish you and it will replenish you when you have finally freed yourself from the shackles of ego domination. Be blessed in your body, in your soul, and in your mind. May all of you be penetrated with the love and with the truth of the universe, so that they can help to liberate you. Be in peace, be in God.

March 15, 1968