I. Christmas Message -- II. Message To The Children

By The Pathwork Guide

Since there is no lecture in March, we are sending out instead excerpts from two lectures in December at the Center -- one on Christmas Eve, and the other on the occasion of the inauguration of the "Hangout," a large room for children, in which they can play, work, listen to music, and be by themselves.

I. Christmas Message

After giving his blessings, the Guide said:

At this point, everyone of you is able to create his life anew. That is, to set a new direction from within. Much of this is already happening to many of you, and more of it can happen. In your realm of consciousness at this time you celebrate a certain symbolic event. This event is the celebration of the Christ Consciousness, of the Divine Consciousness deep within your own being. Most human beings live a lifetime -- nay, many lifetimes -- without ever knowing that there is something within them that surpasses by far the ordinary consciousness. This extraordinary consciousness, this sublime consciousness must be awakened within the course of the evolutionary journey of each entity.

On this path you are learning to eliminate the obstructions, the obstacles. At this particular time, when the birth of the Christ Consciousness is being celebrated, we shall talk about the event as it begins to take place. Of course, you do know that this awakening does not happen all at once. It happens gradually, again and again. It occurs, it is being lost, it reoccurs, and so on. Perhaps you can see the tree that you light as a symbol expressing the many candles that have to be lit in order to bring the total consciousness to its eternal glow on the outer level of your manifest existence. Each recognition, each insight, each honest admission, each shedding of a partial mask, each breaking through of a defense, each step of courage and of honesty -- where you take responsibility for your negativity -- is a lighting of yet another candle. You bring light into your soul by bringing truth into your darkness.

But as long as you project your darkness outward in order not to face your own shadows, then you cannot light the candles. The lighting of the whole tree -- of the tree of life -- is an ongoing process. The more candles are being lit, the greater do the joyousness and the glory become. With great joy it is being observed how much more of this glory and of this joy you, my dearest friends, are now able to activate and able to stand.

These are not empty words. You who work on this path know how arduous it is to take the emphasis away from the outside and to turn it on yourself. In other words, to change from blaming and from resenting to seeing your own hatred, your own enviousness, your own greed, and your fear to recognize it.

Now let us talk about the need for self-acceptance. Again and again you lose sight of its importance, and therefore you get stuck in your self-hate. Then this makes you put all the blame either on someone else or on something else. This is the danger. The more you hate yourself, the more do you dump your hatred onto others, because self-acceptance seems too final a judgment, too self-annihilating. And the more you project your self-hate outward, the more do you lose your grip on truth and on reality, and the more you hate yourself. At this time of commemorating the birth of your eternal Christchild within, can you commit yourself to accepting every part of you? In this message I want to convey to you that there is nothing whatever that needs to be rejected, there is nothing whatever that you cannot accept, there is nothing whatever that you cannot forgive. The only thing that is truly destructive, and that makes you lose your bearing, is not doing so, and therefore acting out.

In every single negative quality there is imbedded a positive quality. I said this often, but mostly only in general terms. The negative traits are nothing but distortions of positive divine expressions. Perhaps you can begin to take the mental step of opening yourself to the possibility that there is love where now you hate; that there is understanding where now you judge. Try to realize that in your hatred you are in darkness. In the denial of your hatred you are in a much bleaker darkness. In other words, you are then much further away from the light. So you become hopeless because you no longer know where you are. But step by step you find your way back. When you admit your hatred, then it is no longer quite so dark. A candle is being lit with this truthful admission. As you accept the infantile egocentricity within you, then another candle is being lit. For by accepting it, you will come to know that this infant can grow up. Only in the acceptance of the infantile egocentricity can you find the birth of the Christ within. In other words, of the eternal Consciousness that contains all there is. True strength, true creativity, true love, true security are all candles that spring aglow from your honesty, from your courage, from your truthfulness, and from the faith that you cultivate little by little -- a faith which then makes you overcome your fear to go all the way with yourself, to go through the fear and to keep open the possibility that there is no abyss. There are only tunnels, many tunnels to go through. Going through the tunnels brings more light, until finally, as in the symbol of the Christmas tree, all the lights converge into one point. In that one point there is All -- all there ever need be. It is the Creative Nucleus from which you can create life, you can create circumstances, you can create love, you can create rich fulfillment. When you no longer turn away from the darkness within you, then realistic hope will grow where now there seems to be no hope.

Much of this is already happening to you. These words are being given as encouragement for you to continue on your beautiful path. Perhaps at this opportunity it will be helpful if we work on particular traits and aspects that you present to me, so that I will show you their positive, beautiful essence. In that way you will learn that there is nothing rejectable per se and nothing essentially unacceptable. There is only distortion. No matter how negative, how destructive, how evil, how dark, or how bad something may be, it is only a distortion of something beautiful. Even you who have been working on this path for some time, and profoundly so, either forget this truth or do not know how to apply it. You cannot make this specific connection. For that purpose it will be beneficial if you present me with some traits in which you cannot see the original beautiful essence -- before it became distorted -- so that now you can see only its bad or evil manifestation. In understanding the specific original positive component, you will find new strength, as well as the impetus to go through both the smaller and the bigger tunnels on your path, and thereby light more candles.

QUESTION: I have a trait of judging others all the time. What is the positive original component in that?

ANSWER: Apart from the obvious projection of your very harsh judgment against yourself that you do not wish to acknowledge to the extent it exists, the original positive quality in being judgmental is a great capacity to distinquish, to differentiate. It is the power to recognize, to be one-pointedly aware. If this ability is being used creatively and constructively, then it is a wonderful asset without which a person would be incomplete. So, you see, nothing as such must be thrown out, destroyed, negated. It must be transmuted. You all notice on this path that the more honestly and constructively you see the truth in yourself, the keener your perception of others becomes. But in a different way from the judgmental attitude you mentioned. Use this asset both on yourself and on others, but not with the kind of hostility and negation you now still practice often. The truth must prevail with forgiveness and with understanding. In other words, with a readiness to understand the deeper connections, so as not to judge in a rejecting way. You need to transform your negative judgment into recognition.

QUESTION: What is this trait I have in which nothing can ever get to me. There is a defiance and a spite.

ANSWER: Defiance, spite, stubbornness, rigidity are all derivatives of the same blockage. Their original positive seed is the quality of being centered within, of being firm, of being self-assertive, of standing your own ground, of being secure in your own self, rather than being constantly swayed and influenced by others, thus losing your autonomy. My friends, it is very important that you recognize the positive origin behind the distortion. At the same time, beware of the temptation to use this knowledge to justify, to whitewash -- and thus to perpetuate -- the distorted version of it. Use this knowledge so that you do not reject the whole thing. This is the purpose of this explanation. You need to learn that there is nothing in you that originally is not divine. Therefore, nothing must be denied or ejected. However, the differentiation between its original quality and its distorted version has to be made.

QUESTION: I have a very strong lack of faith and I do not want to believe in God.

ANSWER: This is a distortion of the healthy, realistic attitude of self-responsibility and self-dependence. It means knowing that there is no authority that will do it for you. It is a distortion of the truth that you are a self-responsible agent, which in reality is not in opposition to the deeper, wiser Godself that the ego must surrender to. It is this divine self alone that can bring about true selfhood, autonomy, independence. But you have a stake in this lack of faith, and thus a secret stake in remaining with the distortion. Whatever the nature of this stake, it must be unearthed. For when man has a stake in not wanting to know the truth, then he shuts out the light. One of the most important things to learn on your path is the ability to open all the doors. But first you need to realize that you deliberately wish to keep all the doors closed. Always assume that you may be mistaken, always assume that your view may be wrong, always assume that it may be different. After you are willing to let go of your defensiveness for the sake of truth, after you let go of the tightness and the fearfulness of your opinion, then you will find out whether you happened to have been right about the issue in the first place. If it turns out to be true, then you can always come back to the same knowledge, but now in a different way. I am not speaking only about the particular question you asked me, for God does indeed exist. I am speaking generally, about the tightness of holding on to a belief that often is totally mistaken and distorted. Nothing makes you as unhappy as your own untruthful belief.

QUESTION: What is the posititive aspect of a fearful, anxious state?

ANSWER: In general, fear is a distortion of caution. It is the awareness of something being amiss somewhere. In the human state anxiety is always a sign of repression. Such a state is a gauge for you which tells you that there is something in you which you do not wish to see -- and that makes you anxious. So anxiety is really not even the distortion of something positive. It is positive, in the sense that it is a signpost pointing to the area where you wish to remain ignorant about yourself. When you are in a state of anxiety, then know this clearly, for it is the truth. Set out, with a full commitment to the truth, to find out what your specific denial is. Go into deep meditation, preferably in the presence of and with the help of your friends. Throw it all in, let go of everything that you hold on to. Let the energy of the meditation of your friends help you and then work it out together. You will find it and thus you will light new candles. That choice always exists. Denial of the truth of the matter is what creates anxiety. This may apply to many things.

QUESTION: I have a stake in being rebellious, in going against authority, and even against what I know to be the truth. What could possibly be positive in the origin of this destructiveness?

ANSWER: The original aspect, before the distortion sets in, is a spirit of courage and of independence. It is a fighting spirit against submission to conformity. Only in its distorted version does it become a blindly driven, senseless destructiveness.

QUESTION: What is the positive origin in my tendency to avoid taking responsibility for my life, my tendency to avoid?

ANSWER: In its original, divine manifestation it is a quality of letting go and letting flow. It is a quality of not letting the ego-control take over and thereby blot out the eternal flow of being. It is a quality of not being cramped, tight, and over-active with the ego forces. It connotes giving in and surrendering to the flow of being.

It is very important that the knowledge that I give you here not be used in order to avoid facing what is actually negative and destructive. And also, that you do not blindly apply it to distortions of distortions of distortions. In other words, that you make a game of it. This knowledge is being given to you in order for you to perceive that there is nothing bad per se. It is only your defenses and your errors that temporarily create the distortions.

QUESTION: What is the positive origin of playing the victim game?

ANSWER: The distortion is self-exoneration, while making others guilty, whose victim you then profess to be. The truth is the longing for the perfect state which you contain in your nucleus. But this is is not a fixed perfectionism, but the ever-moving, ever-changing perfection of your innermost being.

QUESTION: What is behind the defense and compulsion of telling jokes?

ANSWER: Life in the universe is joyous, it is pleasurable, it is lighthearted, it is humor. Humor is a significant divine aspect. There cannot be beauty and love without humor.

QUESTION: Competitiveness? Self-centeredness, wanting to be the center of attention?

ANSWER: Self-centeredness is a distortion of seeking your own inner center. If you are centered within your divine self, then vanity and egotism stop. Vanity and egotism exist if the search for the divine nucleus is applied to the separated ego. Ambitiousness and competitiveness are a distortion of the inner movement to create the best that you can be. But when you put it into the service of the separated ego, then it becomes an endeavor that sets oneself into opposition to another self. In reality, on the divine level of inner truth, this does not exist. All can be their best without interfering with one another. In its original way of being it says: "how can I be my potential best?" In its distortion it manifests as: "how can I be better than others?"

QUESTION: Abuse of power, of a position of authority.

ANSWER: It is the distortion of true leadership. True leadership is taking responsibility, it is paying the price for leadership. The distortion of it wants the glory of it -- in other words, the advantages -- in a selfish and vain way.

QUESTION: I can't imagine anything positive in the tendency to remove yourself, being cool, of pretending to be different.

ANSWER: The original divine aspect is self-containment, self-sufficiency, impartiality, serenity. In every healthy life there must exist a harmonious balance between sharing oneself intimately with others in a dynamic exchange on the one hand, and being in solitude so as to refuel from within on the other hand. These two ways of being must co-exist in utter emotional comfort. When one is lacking, then the other must also be lacking, until the balance is re-established. If you are frightened of intimate contact, then you will seek seclusion. But then your seclusion will be something lonely and maudlin, rather than the beautiful version in its original state, when it is a time of refueling, a time of going into yourself, a time of making contact with your inner being, a time of communing both with your inner nature and with your outer nature. Then the fruits of this can be given out again. That would be the right balance.

II. GUIDE SESSION AT THE INAUGURATION OF THE CHILDREN'S ROOM

Greetings, my dearest young friends. With great joy do I speak to you. I shall try to give you what you need and to make myself understood by you. This is not easy. For I usually speak in a very different way from the human language you are accustomed to. So words are not easy for me to formulate. It is even difficult to explain things to adults. But it is particularly difficult when I speak to you. However, I shall try my best. If you do not understand, then you can always ask me what I mean. Sometimes the understanding comes only much later. This happens to grown-ups, too. Most grown-ups do not understand immediately what I say because their inner understanding is blocked. Such understanding often comes much later. So be patient. So if you cannot really comprehend what I say, then keep it in reserve, so to speak. Eventually, it will come to you.

Before answering your questions, I would like to tell you a few things that may be helpful.

You are all fortunate in growing up with truth, with the kind of understanding that most people do not have. Let me put a few of these basic truths into simple words for you to remember.

To begin with, if you can believe that much more exists than you can see, then you will make room for a lot of wisdom in yourself. As you grow a little older, then many things that are confusing for other people will cease to be confusing to you. For you must know that adults are just as confused as you are. That confusion often arises because you believe only in what you can see and touch, and that is a very shortsighted view. The more you can consider the possibility that the things that you cannot see and touch are often much more real than those you can see and touch, the sooner you will gain a new understanding of life.

Another thing I would like to tell you so as to help you is that no injustice exists, even if it seems that way. So do no waste your time in complaining about injustice. If someone else seems to get more than you, then wait before making the final judgment that this is so. Allow yourself to consider that there may be things you cannot see. Allow yourself to consider that you may have things which those whom you envy do not have, and that there is a long chain of circumstances -- one that is as yet invisible to you -- that makes what appears as an injustice actually quite just. At the same time it is also important to consider that those who seem to have more not only do not have more, but that they are not any more lovable or any more loved than you are. Allow yourself to know that you are very lovable to God. God is within you. He is within every one of you. You may not know this now because you are so busy with your outer mind. But there is something within you that is the most valuable thing you can find in life. One day you will find it, you will know it, and you will hear it.

Now perhaps these words will be written down for you so that you can remember them. And when you forget, which will happen again and again, then you can always go back to them. Always remember them. And that will create a lot of light for you in your life.

Before answering your questions, my very dearest friends, I would like to say to you that I know that this occasion is to bless this place, this room in which you can experience a lot of joy and fun and also a lot of learning, although this will not necessarily be school learning. There is another kind of learning. Let us call it life learning. Life learning is even more important than school learning. Life learning is what the Path can teach you. You can apply this as you are together here in this room, where you can have joyful times, but also times of life learning. For example, you older children can gain the freedom that you so much wish to have, and that you envy grown-up people for. You can gain more and more of that freedom when you take responsibility. This is a word that you may not know what to do with. But little by little you can learn what this word means. It means looking out for your younger friends. It means helping them. It means giving them understanding, instead of hitting back when they seem to do something that angers you. You can try to put yourself in the place of the younger ones and in that way you can take responsibility. You can be patient rather than impatient. That is taking responsibility. And then there is yet another way of taking responsibility. Instead of saying, "You are wrong and I am right," "You are bad and I am good," which you seem to say so many times when you have misunderstandings and when you quarrel, you can ask this question: "Maybe there is something in me that is not right." That is taking responsibility. Then both of you together can look for what is right and for what is not right in each of you. By doing that you create a wonderful thing. You take responsibility. And this responsibility will give you privileges and freedom that you will greatly enjoy.

Study these words, think about them, and then put them into action little by little. If others do not seem to love you and to appreciate you, then know that it is not necessarily the truth. A harsh word does not mean that you are not being loved. The important thing is that you know that you are lovable even if you are naughty, that you know that you are lovable even if sometimes you are wrong. And you must be wrong sometimes, for all human beings are, and you are a human being, too, are you not?

Now, my friends, I'm ready for your questions.

PEGGY: I find it very difficult to relate to people my own age. I can relate to older or younger, but never to my own age.

GUIDE: This is mostly because you are afraid of them. And because you are afraid of them, you set up a wall between you and them. When you make yourself critical of them, then you must feel that they are also critical of you. In your mind they seem to have power over you, because they can criticize you, because they can reject you. In that way you see them as being much more powerful than you see yourself. In reality the others may be just as afraid of your judgments and of your criticalness as you are afraid of theirs, even as you endow them with power in your own mind. Perhaps now you can begin to question all this. First of all, you have to be aware of how afraid you are of their judgments. Are you aware of that?

PEGGY: I think so, but I'm not sure.

GUIDE: Maybe now you can set out to observe yourself more closely in this respect. As you see your fear of their judgment, then you can go to the next step and see how you judge them. Are you aware of your judging others?

PEGGY: Yes.

GUIDE: That is the measure of your fear. And perhaps you can begin to see your peer group as being just as afraid and just as unsure as you are, and to realize that they may respond differently to a kind word from you just as you might respond positively to a kind word from them. By doing this you will eliminate the fear that separates you.

DEMIAN: I'm really afraid that my father is going to object to my name being changed to Solomon. I'm really scared of that, that he's going to say no.

GUIDE: My dearest friend Demian, you need not fear anything. Whether your name will be changed or not, you need not fear. You are safe and secure, and this does not depend on the name. It is probable that sooner or later the name will be changed. But you put too much importance on that. Perhaps in your private sessions you can see what a lot of your fears really are, and that they have nothing to do with the name. Can you understand what I'm saying?

DEMIAN: Yes.

GUIDE: It is important that you see that all your fears are illusions. But in order to realize that all your fears are illusions -- and therefore that you do not have to fear anything, that you are protected, that you are guided, and that you are loved -- you first have to see what these fears are and then you have to work them through with your helper. If you like to, then you can even work in an adult group with the help of the adult friends you have here. For they are your friends and they can help you. It depends on you whether you accept that help or not. All of you, my younger friends, have the right to ask for help. Do not set a wall between you and the grown-up world. There is no wall unless you erect one. With that help you can gradually lose your fears. Do you understand that?

DEMIAN: Yes, thank you.

MYRA: Well, I worry a lot, mostly about problems I don't even have to worry about. And I'd like your help to get over this problem.

GUIDE: Your worry about problems that are not problems is perhaps also a way for you, similar to what I said to Demian, to look away from what you really feel and from what really disturbs you. Then you create something else instead. With the help that you have, you can find what your real fears are. All these fears are the result of something that you misunderstand. All adults also have such misunderstandings. In other words, this is not so just because you are children. Some of you children are highly developed spirits. But you still have misunderstandings. You have been helped in this lifetime and you have been guided to this particular path in your young years so that you can free yourself of your fears -- fears that come only from your misunderstandings. Try to remember that all your fears are misunderstandings, false beliefs. You, too, can ask your adult friends to help you to find what these misunderstandings are. With their help you can find out that you do not need to fear something that is painful, or something that is not the way you want it to be at the moment. When that happens, then it is not so bad. But often you think that it is bad. But it is not really bad. Do you understand?

MYRA: I think so. Thank you.

JESSIE: Sometimes I feel very sloppy, and I want everything to be very messy, like things thrown around where I live. And sometimes I feel like I want everything to be very nice. Why do I want things to be sloppy and messy?

GUIDE: Perhaps you feel that way because you are angry, but you do not know that you are angry. If you feel that you want to be disorderly, sloppy as you say, then it would be helpful for you to ask yourself: "Am I angry? What am I angry about?" It is better to know what you feel than not to know what you feel. Then it comes around in a different way, and you become confused. It is very important to avoid this confusion. The pathwork can help you to avoid such confusions by teaching you to know when you are angry and why you are angry.

Perhaps I can say a few words to all of you about anger. So much of the anger that you have, and therefore also of your fear, is because you do not always get what you want right away. It is important for your happiness, for your contentment, and for your living without fear that you understand exactly what I mean by this. Not having what you want is not such a terrible thing. Perhaps you can allow yourself to consider in your mind that it is ok not to get what you want precisely when you want it. Maybe you can tell yourself this. "Yes, it would be nice to have it now. But maybe I can have what I want in a different way and at a different time." The only way you can be truly free is if you do not insist on other things and on other people being a certain way in the same fearful way you do now. You can learn that, even while you are as young as you are. You can begin to learn that you can question the necessity to have it right now, even though having it might be pleasant. Perhaps you can also have the faith that the loving God in you wants you to be happy. And He will make you happy if you learn these lessons and if you stop thinking that you will not be happy if you do not have what you want immediately and precisely the way you want it. So much of your anger and so much of your fear is because of that misunderstanding: you think that you cannot be happy unless you have your way at once. And your disorderliness, or your desire to be disorderly, is because you are angry. And you are angry because you do not always get your way. Do you see that?

JESSIE: Yes.

CAMILLA: A lot of times you said that such and such is childish. I want to know what you mean by that.

GUIDE: Let us make a distinction between childish and child-like. Child-like is beautiful. And no adult can be truly joyful, creative, and happy unless he also preserves his child-likeness. Child-likeness means the capacity to be joyous, the capacity to be adventurous, the capacity to find out the excitement of new things. It is the capacity to be fresh, the capacity to question, the capacity to learn. It means not to have a set mind in which one thinks that one knows everything. All that is being child-like. And this is an invaluable quality that you should nurture in you. By childish I mean immature. Sometimes that is the misunderstanding, the ignorance of the very young who have to learn and who have to see what life is all about. It is the quality I just described, namely the inability to accept frustration, which is childish or immature. It is the false belief that if you do not have what you want immediately, then you will perish, or that something very bad will happen, or that you you can never be happy again. That is childish. So is the inability to take discipline. That inability is childish in the sense that a person who is unable to take discipline is governed by a false understanding. And this is different from the child-like quality that is so valuable. Do you see what I mean?

MICHAEL: I want to know, when I grow up will there still be a Center? Because I'm really worried about it.

GUIDE: There will always be a center. That center is primarily within you. Then you will always find the outer center. But this particular Center will indeed be much more than it is now. For this is only a beginning. And it will become more and more beautiful, more and more alive, more and more joyous, as all of you make this Center grow, including you, my younger friends, who will, when you grow up, be the center of, the responsible people of, this Center.

MARINA: I'd like to know if you could help me understand why I'm so afraid of being considered a child.

GUIDE: Maybe you are afraid because you think that it is bad or inferior or dumb to be a child. But that is not so at all. Is it possible that you are afraid of that? And also because you believe that as a child you are helpless, that you are dependent, and you do not trust some of the grown-ups you depend on? All that may be part of it. Maybe you can pray inside of you that you can trust that God in you will guide you right. And you do not have to fear any age because whatever the age is, it is right and good. Every age has its particular beauty and its particular advantage.

JUDITH: (An adult question) So many children are afraid of things like monsters coming out of the closet at night. Could you perhaps help with this?

GUIDE: I would like to answer this in the following way. Perhaps there are two parts to this answer. If you are excited by monsters and there is an excitement and interest in them, like reading about them, then you will also create a fear of them. And the other part of the answer is this. Perhaps if you are angry, if you have hate in you, and if you think you are so bad because you hate, then you create the idea of a monster. But if you can say, "yes, I hate and it is due to a misunderstanding that I hate, but I will work it through, I will work with my hate," then your fear of monsters will go away. You will no longer be so fascinated by these spooky things.

Now I would like to say to all of you, my younger friends, that this is a very meaningful meeting. And whenever you want it, then you can have another session with me. You can create more questions and ask me these questions and ask me for help, either in the form of a session particularly for you, or when you come to general sessions, which are as much for you as for the grown-ups. You have just as much right for this help as anyone else. I want you to know that.

March 1974