The Path: Initial Steps, Preparation, And Decision

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings in the name of God and Jesus Christ. I bring blessings for all of you, my friends. By all my preceding lectures, you will have understood one thing clearly: the necessity for self-development on this earth plane; that this is, indeed, the reason for this earth life and its purpose. No matter how difficult life may be at times, only he who fulfills this purpose can find peace in his soul.

I have promised you to start this course of development so that each one of you, as well as those who cannot attend private treatment or lectures, can find your way. How to go about it, where to begin, what to do, and what it is all about.

Many of the words I shall give you in these particular lectures can be treated as a meditation. You should retain these words and not just read them once, for that will not be enough. You should meditate on some of my teachings, so that from a superficial and intellectual knowledge, this knowledge may eventually reach the deeper regions of your soul, for only then will it be really beneficial to you.

Everyone knows that it is important to be a decent person, not to commit so-called sins and to give love, to have faith, and to be kind to others. However, this is not enough. In the first place, you may know all this, but it is a different story to be able to do it. You may be able, by a voluntary action, to refrain from committing a crime, such as that of stealing, of killing, and so on, but you cannot force yourself to feel kindly. You may act kindly to another, but you cannot force yourself to feel kindly. Neither can you force yourself to have love in your heart or to have faith in God. Everything pertaining to the emotions, to the feelings, is not dependent upon the direct action of your deeds or even of your thoughts. In order to change your feelings, you need to go through the slow process of self-development and of self-recognition. Otherwise, your feelings cannot change.

You may have realized that you do not have enough faith. However, realizing this and trying to force yourself to have it by telling yourself, "I must have faith," will not bring you one step closer towards it. On the contrary. Superficially, you may be able to talk yourself into it. But this does not mean that your faith, or your ability to love, is real. And that is what the Path consists of, the change of feelings.

For people of lower spiritual development it is already a great deal if they can achieve to not commit wrong deeds. But this is certainly not sufficient for anyone of you here. Much more is expected of you.

So, how to go about changing your innermost feelings? That is the question. That is where we have to begin and where I have to show you the way. In the first place, you cannot change what is in you as long as you do not know what is really in you. The greatest difficulty for man is that he tends to fool himself about himself. I am not talking only about the subconscious mind, which you all know exists. I will not even go as far as that, for between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind there is another layer, which is much closer to the conscious mind, but of which you are still unaware because you want to be unaware of it. You flee from it, you escape from it, although its symptoms and its signs may be right in front of your nose. Man flees from it because he mistakenly thinks that what he does not know does not exist. He may not think so in exactly these words, but feelings of this sort go on in him without realizing it. However, even if you turn away from your inner reality, it does exist. It may be the temporary reality of this present time, but it is still part of the reality of your life and a stage of your development. In other words, it is your reality now.

You may remember when I gave a lecture about the higher self, the lower self, and the mask self some time ago. What I have just discussed is part of the mask self, but it is not only a mask. I may call it the exterior self, which does not always correspond to the inner person. All of you now know that it is destructive to do or to think or to feel certain things. If these feelings still exist in your lower self, then you turn away from them, thus thinking that you have eliminated that which you recognize as being wrong. That is the greatest mistake as human being can make and it causes infinitely more trouble, more problems, and more inner and outer conflicts than anything you know in your conscious mind.

I have often mentioned the various spiritual laws. These laws are constantly being violated by man. The process I have just described violates one of these laws. It is the law of facing life. To face the reality of life means to be able to face yourself as you are with all your imperfections. Without doing this first, you can never develop. All existing systems that try to teach man a way to jump over this hurdle can never really be successful, for that means the violation of this law.

All of you who are reading my words are unconsciously involved in this harmful process all the time, even though some of you may have gained a certain amount of self-knowledge in some respects. There is not one person who does not have at least one trend in him that he can consciously connect with what I am talking about here. There must be one realization that is not being fled from by the conscious mind. My friends, you may know your shortcomings, but you certainly do not know all your real motives. You do not understand why you have certain opinions, certain tastes or certain idyosincracies; even good qualities may be partly influenced by an unconscious fault or a wrong inner current. And you should understand where these trends and tendencies -- about which you have deceived yourself so far -- come from and what they are influenced by or connected with. There is nothing in the human soul that comes merely from the higher self or from the lower self, because the two mix constantly. Purification means to separate, to understand, to rearrange, and to re-structure all these various trends in conscious understanding, thus purifying the basic good trends from all masks of self-deception and influences by the weaknesses of the character.

The trend of the higher self in you says: "I want to be perfect because I know that this is the will of God." But it is the ignorance of the lower self that thinks that perfection can be attained by running away from your imperfections, by disregarding them. The lower self also wants to have everything very comfortable. The lower self also wants to have a high position, but not as the higher self wants it, namely for the love of God by recognition and enlightenment, in the realization that only when you are perfect will you be truly capable of loving your fellow creatures, your neighbor. Your lower self wants to be perfect in order to have more ego gratification and in order to swell its head and in order to be admired. So, you see, here is an example of where both the higher self and the lower self want the same thing, but the motive is an entirely different one. It is of the utmost importance for the purification of your personality, for the sake of a healthy and harmonious soul to separate these motives and to recognize their voices. You should not feel blamed by this or blame yourself when you begin to recognize these lower self trends in you. This is a statement of fact. One of the basic requirements for your Path is that you learn to accept this in yourself. Only from this premise can you go on and change the impurity of your motives.

You must also recognize the reason why your lower self turns you away from facing yourself. One reason is, as I said previously, that it is unpleasant to recognize oneself as imperfect; the other reason is that the lower self is lazy and it never wants to work. So, the first step in your decision to walk the path of self-development and purification is to become clear about this. It is the greatest decision man can ever make! It is the noblest of all fights man can ever go into! But you must go into it with your eyes open. Therefore, you should realize first what you ought to expect and second what you have to go in search for. Do not start the search for perfection right away. This would be unrealistic because you cannot attain perfection quickly and without having invested a great deal of time and effort. This search is the first, and most important, half of the Path. If you proceed well on this part of the Path, then you will have won half the battle already -- and even more, my friends. If you realize this, then you will not be discouraged when you find yourself struggling on the first half of the work that is so necessary; quite on the contrary. Remember that you can reach perfection only by going through your imperfections, never by going around them. You should meditate on this sentence daily, until this knowledge becomes part of you and until you are indoctrinated with this truth.

Furthermore, you must prepare yourself for the knowledge of the fact that going on this Path does not mean a constant and smooth improvement, an improvement of yourself and an improvement of your life conditions. This would be completely unrealistc. It is necessary for you to face these facts. The Path is not only a long one, but repercussions and times of testing -- trials -- will not cease as quickly as you would like to believe. At this point I want to add that a great deal of harm is being done to people who are either taught or led to understand that their problems will cease altogether simply by following certain rules of metaphysical teachings; moreover, who are being told that if their problems appear to disappear for a short time, then this is a sign of success.

There are many people who appear to have no outer problems whatsoever. Such people are certainly not on the Path! They may be creatures of lower development of whom less is expected in this incarnation; and they are given a chance to prove what they can do with an easy life. If they do not do their best, then they will have a more difficult time in order to prove themselves in a future incarcation. Its is not only immature but childish to go on this Path of purification because you imagine that all your troubles or problems will cease immediately. Certainly, both your outer problems and your inner troubles will at first lessen and then finally cease altogether, but only after a long time, and only after you have first thoroughly understood your inner make-up and then have rearranged your inner currents. This is the only way to dissolve the inner wrong images that are responsible for your conflicts. Only after you have attained several victories over yourself will the full realization of all this come about. And this must take a long time, perhaps years of hard work. Then, very gradually, the times of trial will lessen both in their impact and in their frequency as harmony grows in your soul, as you learn to really control yourself, and as you become more and more aware of yourself. Being aware of yourself means knowing your lower self utterly and completely, which does not mean that you have to have overcome it completely.

When you start on this Path, before you do anything further, you should meditate on this every day: "You must expect to find a side in yourself that you may be shocked about. You must meet this part of you half-away, instead of either hiding it or escaping from it. You must expect that tests, similar to the ones you had to go through before you came on this Path, will continue to come your way for quite a time -- perhaps not more, but not necessarily less. The only difference is that the person who is on the Path will, after some successful work, understand that each time of testing and each time of woes means something very specific: it conveys a particular message telling you that there is something quite special to learn about the self as a result of each difficult period and by every hardship you are going through. Only after considerable time will your mind be trained in this direction, so that you will find out quicker and quicker what it is that you have to learn from each situation. The moment you understand the significance of a particular hardship, and the reason you have to go through it, then this particular time of testing will cease. As long as you have not understood it, then it will continue to be there. It may recede for a while, but it will come back either in the same form or in a similar form until you have seen what it is there to show you. That is a great blessing, for only he who has experienced what it means to understand the message of a particular hardship -- and really understand it to its core -- will realize what a blessing it is! Then what I am saying here will not be merely words, it will be a deep experience. Of course, the person who is not on the Path, or perhaps the person who has not as yet completely found his way into the Path, and therefore who is still in the first stages of it, will be at a loss, for he will not know why he had to go through all this. That makes it infinitely more difficult to bear.

Before you can come to the point in your development when testing periods and times of trouble will cease, you must first go through the stage of understanding completely the periods of difficulty, meeting them in a spirit of courage and wisdom. When you can do all this, then you will enter into a transition period during which outer conflicts and outer problems will begin to touch you no longer. You will remain quite calm and serene during outer hardships. Only after this has been accomplished can the hardships begin to cease altogether. You ought to be clear about this timing and these stages. So prepare yourself to accept the fact that your trials will not cease. Your life will continue as before for a while, until you learn from it that which it is necessary for you to know. If you expect it this way and you go into it this way, then you will not be disappointed. But if you go into it like a blindfolded, wishful-thinking child, then you will be disappointed -- disappointed not only in God and what you have somehow unconsciously expected from Him by following this Path -- but also disappointed in yourself and disappointed in your endeavors. This Path is not a fairy tale, it is a reality of the crassest sort, my friends! It is utter reality. Reality is not only hard and difficult and dark, but also nothing is as beautiful as reality. The beauty of reality does not compare with the puny so-called beauty of the imagination, concocted by escaping the unpleasant reality. Remember that!

Here is another thought for meditation. When you go into this Path, you must also prepare yourself to abide by another of the spiritual laws: it says that there is a price to be paid for everything. He who tries to avoid this will finally pay much dearer. And every single person is doing this constantly in one way or another -- one more obviously, another more subtly and more in hiding. Many people are not doing it outwardly, but psychologically you are all doing it, particularly when this Path is approached with eyes half-open. Realize that there is a price to be paid. But the price is well worth it! When you buy a house and you wish a beautiful mansion, you are reconciled and prepared to pay an adequate price. You will not expect a mansion, a palace for the price of a shack. On the mental level you have no quarrel with this basic fact of life, but on the emotional, psychological, and spiritual level you constantly wish to have a palace for the price of a hut -- and sometimes not even for any price at all. That is part of your sick soul. The price you pay by going on this Path of development is certainly a high one, but there is absolutely no other means either on earth or in heaven to gain harmony, love, happiness, and complete inner security, where nothing evil can ever touch you or throw you off balance ever again. This is the price: No self-pity; no self-delusion; utter severity with the self; time; effort; patience; perseverance; and courage. What you will receive for paying this price is a hundred times worth it indeed. But do not expect the return on your investment right after you start. By start I mean a period of about two years of work in this manner at least, provided you do not work half-heartedly. In other words, speaking symbolically, your money must be paid in full first.

I know, my friends, that my words are not what the self-indulgent person wants to hear. There is no easy method and no miracle formula by which you can obtain that which you all seek: happiness. I cannot promise you the precious gifts of heaven (on earth as in the spiritual world) merely by doing certain prayer exercises. If I were to tell you such a thing, then you would be justified in being suspicious and doubtful, even though you might undoubtedly prefer to hear that. What I am offering you is real and true. Each one of you has the chance to find out for himself merely by trying and following my advice. And my advice to begin with is this: Meditate on my words, the words I have given you here, namely on what the price must be and on what you must expect. Then consider all that and only then make the decision. Are you willing to do it? You may say, "It may take a few more lives; I am too tired." To this I can only answer one thing: This is very shortsighted once again, for if you are either tired or weak, then it is because your inner forces exhaust themselves in the wrong channels, so that your strength cannot renew itself organically as it does in a soul that functions well. If only you will start and not be dismayed by the initial struggles, you will fnally succeed in setting this inner current right; and by doing so, you will set free in yourself a wonderful life force and a spark that will change your life completely.

As I said, I cannot promise that all your problems will cease, for they are necessary at the beginning of your Path in order for you to learn how to meet these problems properly and maturely. However, I can promise you that after certain fundamental conditions have been fulfilled by you, you will not be depressed any longer either by your life or by your difficulties. I can promise you that your tiredness will cease, that you will have the strength you need to go through your difficulties and to bear your cross in the right way, namely knowing why, what it is all about; for the most difficult thing for you, and the most weakening aspect of your life, is that you do not know why and you cannot see the reason. But on this Path into yourself you will find out the reason, and this will give you the strength you need. Furthermore, I can promise you that after a certain time on the Path you wll enjoy life in spite of your difficulties, and before they have actually begun to cease, in a way you have never been able to enjoy it before. I can promise you that you will be vibrantly alive, first at intervals and later more and more. As you gradually understand yourself and you begin to put order into your soul, this vibrant life force will fill you, and life will be beautiful to you in its reality. So, I say to you truly: Do not postpone this work into another life, for it will not be easier for you then, and you can never get around doing this work, for it has to be done. No matter how late you may think it is, it is never too late. Whatever you accomplish on this earth will have an eternal value. And when I speak of accomplishment, I mean the conquering of your lower self.

Here is another thought for the initial decision, into which you must go with your eyes open: You must distinguish three types of work necessary for treating yourself on this Path. One is your outer behavior; in other words, the recognition both of your apparent faults and of your qualities, as well of everything that is on the surface. There is one particular way of going about it, which I will go into the next time. Then there is the next phase -- and they often interact -- of treating that layer of yourself which does not belong directly to your subconscious, but of which you are unaware because you are escaping it. This layer has to be treated in a different manner, and I will show you how. Then there is the third layer, which is your subconscious mind. This is equally important. Do not think that what is in the subconscious is something so far away that it has no bearing on you, as is commonly believed. You are constantly being dominated by your subconscious without knowing it. And it is indeed possible to find out what is in it -- slowly but surely -- at least to some extent.

You must realize that you will discover trends in you that stand in direct relationship to your will as a person, and thus are able to be controlled by direct influence through an act of will. You will also discover trends in you which do not fall into this category, trends which are connected with your emotions, and therefore cannot be directly forced to respond to your wishes. The world of emotions can change only by organic growth, never by pressure and not by a voluntary action. Voluntary action plays a role, but in a roundabout way. In other words, indirectly. For example, let us assume you discover that deep down you are lacking faith or lacking love. You cannot force yourself to have either faith or love, no matter how hard you try to accomplish this directly. But what you can force yourself to do is to walk this Path on the whole; to follow these various steps; to overcome perhaps a lack of discipline that makes it so hard for you to work diligently on this Path; to face whatever else stands directly in your way; and to work on yourself daily. By doing so, you will not work directly on your lack of love or on your lack of faith, but you will simply get to know yourself, and thereby you will find out why you lack these two attributes, or any other for that matter. By gradually understanding this, without trying to force either love or faith directly but by the constant process of self-observation -- and by learning to do this in a detached way -- eventually the life force that I mentioned earlier will fill you and will automatically change these feelings without your direct endeavor in this direction.

If your emotions begin to change after a few years, then it can be considered a wonderful success. This will happen so naturally that you may not even be fully aware of it at first. To begin with, all that I am discussing here should be clear to you. The next time I will go into more detail. For now, just study these words, think about them deeply, take them to God and ask Him if you have doubts. If your heart is really open, then He will answer you, provided your heart is open. Believe me, my friends, all of this is neither as difficult as it may seem to you now, nor is the Path a miracle that will offer you happiness without demanding from you all you have in honesty, will power, and effort.

One more word about this phase of preparation and decision. You must expect to have a fight with yourself. It will be the struggle between your lower self and your higher self. Your conscious self will determine which side will win. Ultimate victory cannot be achieved without such a battle. It must be a long struggle, and one which at first will manifest itself by perhaps preventing you from following this Path at all. The lower self may send its messages: "I do not believe in it," or "it may not be necessary at all," or "I am too tired," or "I have no time." It will be this and that and the other thing. It is necessary that you recognize these messages for what they are and where they come from, and that you use them as a starting point to delve deeper into your soul. Try to see clearly what is really in you when you come up with these hidden excuses and pretenses. If you expect them beforehand, then you will be able to see them clearly, and by doing so you will have won your first victory. Also, you will have already learned to some degree how to go about uncovering your masks and your wrong motives, for later on the lower self will try to obstruct your Path by other means. It will simply try to hold on to individual currents. Later you will know how to deal with it a little better. Do not put the superficial excuses aside. Test them, deal with them, examine them.

Many of you are scared of "what may come out of your lower self." You may not fear this consciously in a concise thought, but it is important that you learn to interpret and to translate your feelings into concise thoughts. You may begin with here and now. This fear constitutes a very important reason why a person shies away from meeting the self.

It is childish to imagine that what you do not cherish in you is nonexistent just because you try to avoid facing it. But the lower self is both immature and ignorant -- apart from its various other faults -- and it is at first shocking to encounter it. But I say to you: Do not shy away from what is in you! Many people who go to a psychiatrist sometimes suffer a breakdown when they come face to face with their lower self in the course of the treatment. In our work this cannot be possible because you know that your lower self is not your ultimate being. In analysis this mistaken idea -- that the lower self is your ultimate being -- often leads people to such self-despisal and self-disgust that a breakdown occurs. But all of you know that the lower self is merely a layer and that it is something temporary; it does not constitute your entire personality. It is here and now and it has to be dealt with, but it is still temporary and it is not the real you, at least not entirely.

There is your higher self, which is partly free already, manifesting through your good qualities, such as your generosity and your kindness, or whatever else there is in you that belongs to the real self. But even in the areas where it cannot manifest as yet because it is deeply hidden behind your lower self, your higher self is still there, in its shining perfection. You cannot reach through to your higher self unless you penetrate the lower self. Do not be afraid. Do not be appalled when you first encounter your lower self where heretofore you had no idea of it. It is a necessary procedure. Remember that the lower self never represents the ultimate you. As a matter of fact, when you reach that stage of being shocked about some of its facets that you had not suspected, know that this constitutes a sign of improvement. It is a strong indication of your good progress, for without going through this stage, painful as it may be for a while, there can be no further victory and success.

This is a part of the Path, my friends. If you meditate upon these words and at the same time you try to be aware of your fear, then the fear of your lower self, and the shame of it -- and if you indoctrinate yourself with this truth and this knowledge -- then you will conquer it. Your fear of it will be met realistically and you will no longer hide from it, as you are hiding from quite a few other things in you. This is what I have to say to you now. And now, my friends, I am ready for your questions.

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