Finding One's Faults

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings in the Name of God and of Jesus Christ. I bring you blessings, my dear friends. In the last lecture I talked about the difficulties that you will find on this Path. I spoke of how dangerous it is to approach it, to undertake it with the illusion that by a few meditations and by some miracle formulas all your earthly troubles will disappear. However, it is equally far from the truth to over-estimate the difficulties on this Path. I can see that some of my friends became a little discouraged. Their unjustified fear serves as an excuse for the lower self, who always wants to avoid purification and improvement. Certainly the Path is difficult. But let us examine this fear. God is wise and just. Therefore, He will not give you more than you can bear or more than you are capable to accomplish. The higher your development, the stronger you are, and therefore more can be expected of you. But if you are still weak, then perhaps the smallest effort will be sufficient for you. Each individual is unique. However, no one can truly achieve happiness in this life if he does not accomplish spiritually the maximum according to his destiny. This Path, together with my instruction and my guidance, should help you to this end. If you happen to fear that this Path is too much for you, then the proper attitude for you to have is to trust and to put it into the hands of God. Ask Him and then let Him decide for you. But how few people turn to God when the mood of doubt about this decision takes hold of them. Even though you may reverse it later, you are quick to decide that all this is too much for you, and it does not even occur to you to ask God for His will in this respect.

Another misconception that you often get entangled in is that in order to follow the Path I am showing you, you will have to neglect other aspects of your life. My dear friends, I can observe the forms of your thoughts and the forms of your feelings. Your lower self constantly fights against the right decisions and it delivers all sorts of excuses and all sorts of pretexts. And you do not know why you have these thoughts and what is really in back of them. You may believe that devoting a certain amount of time and effort to your spiritual development will take too much time from the daily struggle for your livelihood. You think that you may not have enough strength left for your professional efforts and for your duties in connection with earning your daily bread. You may believe that not enough time remains to enjoy life. All this is wrong. Spiritual development in general, and this Path in particular, is not an extra activity in your life. In other words, you do not add it on to your other activities, thus diminishing the strength, the time, the effort, and the zest that you would otherwise have available for all your other duties and pleasures. It is the contrary, my friends. The truth is that this Path of purification represents the foundation of your life. It is the ground on which you walk, symbolically speaking. You simply shift the tracks of your life, if I may say so, into different channels. After a while, even though your main problems will not disappear from one day to the other, a new life spark will awaken in you that will furnish you with a heretofore unfamiliar acumen, with a new strength, with a new vitality, and with an ability to enjoy life as you have never done before. You will do better work in your profession, you will get more rest from your times of leisure, and you will get more pleasure out of life, regardless of what you do. But now all this is still more or less flat for most of you. This is the result I can promise you if you work spiritually in the way I am showing you. If not at once, then after a certain time and after some victories. And then you will see that this Path is well worth taking, even from your selfish point of view and even though your main conflicts have not disappeared as yet at this point. This is so because on this Path you eventually find out where -- in your deeper feelings, in your reactions, in your thoughts, and in your deeds -- you have broken several spiritual laws. By this realization you will gradually be in a position to change these inner currents and these emotional reactions. This automatically frees a strength and a life force which so far was either locked up or blocked off. I am not promising you a miracle that will be given to you as a reward from heaven, but I am showing you plainly and logically that it cannot help but work out in this way because all this is based on the law of cause and effect that works naturally and impersonally. So you should not consider the decision for this Path as some additional activity in your life; as you may consider, for example, starting to take lessons in some new field that may rob you of the time and of the effort for other necessary or desirable things. This is the foundation of your life. It will make your life a well integrated whole. For if you can solve your inner problems and correct your inner errors -- and only you yourself can do so on this Path -- then you will eventually solve your outer problems. But you should not expect this to happen from one day to the other, because you have often wasted many lives, and therefore your wrong habits of thinking and your negative feeling have ingrained themselves deeper and deeper in you from one incarnation to another. So the knots have become tighter and more confused. Therefore, it must take time to loosen the knots, to untie them completely, and to understand the workings of all your inner currents in relationship to spiritual law and truth. If and when you have accomplished this to some degree, then your outer problems will cease. This will not happen when you put more effort and concentration on the outer problem alone. You must find the inner problem, which is always the cause of your outer problem.

All the good things in life -- happiness, joy, pleasure -- you will reap if your soul is becoming healthy again, if your inner currents flow, and if they conform to spiritual law. Only then will you be capable of happiness. How many people are capable of happiness? Very few, my friends. The majority are actually just as scared of happiness as they are of unhappiness. All of you desire great happiness, but the further out of reach it appears, then the more desirable it seems to you. While if there seems to be a chance once in a while to realize such happiness, then you shrink away from it. Oh yes, my friends, this is so. Think back in your life. Examine your feelings in these rare moments and then analyze them from this angle, and you will see that I am right. This is a symptom. It indicates that your soul is sick, and therefore that it has deviated from one or more spiritual laws. For he who embraces life wholeheartedly -- without fear, without self-pity, and without being afraid of hurt -- follows a very important spiritual law. Only he who can do so is capable of experiencing real happiness. If you follow the path of self-knowledge and of perfection, then everything you do in life will have more flavor, will have more awareness, and will have more life spark. In other words, if you do what God wants you to do. It will not take more time than is reasonable according to your life circumstances. Everybody is capable -- through a little will power, through his determination, and the proper organization in his everyday life -- to spend a half hour a day on his spiritual development. You spend your time on your physical body in order to feed it, to rest it, to cleanse it, and you certainly do not feel that this takes something away from your other duties or pleasures. You take it for granted that this is a necessary part of your life. Yet, when the question arises to do the same for your soul -- and less time is necessary for your soul than for your body -- then your laziness, your fears, your doubts, and your questions bar your way. Think about it reasonably, my friends. Do not be inspired by your lower self. As long as you do not recognize how this lower self works, how it manifests, and in what devious ways it presents handy excuses to you, then you will not be able to master it, regardless of how sincere your love for God may be. Love for God is wonderful when it manifests itself in beautiful prayers and meditations, but you also have to do the work. What is this work? The work is to master your lower self and to do good to other people. But how can you really do good to other people if your impure currents force you into false and untrue thoughts, and therefore into bad actions? You may be able to do what you believe is a good deed, yet it is not really a good deed if it is not supported by purified feelings. Your goal on this Path is pure feelings. What you need in order to accomplish this is a certain amount of time everyday, some will power, detachment from your ego, and a great deal of common sense.

Some of you have already made this wholehearted decision. Some of you have not. But for all of you it is important to understand how to deal with the lower self who works in the unconscious mind and sends only subterfuges to the surface. Those of you who are willing to follow this Path of purification will have many fights with your lower self on the way, because the lower self has strong currents he does not want to part with. You must educate your lower self. It is important that you train yourself to understand what is hidden behind these doubts or these fears that want to take you off your Path -- and that make it more difficult for you to gain the self-understanding that you need. Your lower self is the one factor that you have to deal with first and to be wary of at all times. You have learn to see through your doubts; you have to learn to see through your hesitancy; you have to learn to see through your stubbornness; you have to learn to see through your unwillingness to understand. The more you become aware of your entire person -- of who you really are -- then the easier it will become for you to overcome your lower self, who constantly obstructs you.

There are some thoughts in you that I can see: "Isn't it enough if I am a decent person? God loves us all and if I just try to be good and behave right, then that should be sufficient. Why do I have to go through all this?" No, my dear ones, it may be sufficient for some people, but do not ever forget that anyone who is guided to read these words assumes an obligation. You expect more from your life than just being what is commonly considered a decent person who does not harm other people. The fulfillment of this obligation works out for your own good. By overcoming your lower self you free yourself of your own chains.

Let us return to the assumption that it should suffice if you are good and do not harm others. What constitutes harm to others? To harm someone else is not only to steal from him or to say ugly things behind his back or to kill him or to maim him. You may harm another person also by not having enough love. No outer forceful kindness will make up for this lack of love in your soul. You may may harm another person by not having enough understanding. You may harm another person by being blind. If you are blind to yourself, then you are perforce blind to others. All your faults stand in the way of your insight, of your understanding, and of the flowing of your pure love. Imagine the love of God -- this marvelous light that lives in the soul of each individual -- and then imagine your lower self standing between you and this light. Can you imagine the effect that this has on your surroundings? So, you see, not only do you harm others by bad acts, by bad thoughts, and by impure feelings, but also by a lack of understanding and by witholding the love that you are capable of in order to achieve your full potential in this present incarnation. This is true self-development. So, it is not only your faults that are a hindrance for you -- and thus directly or indirectly harm others -- it is also your fears.

You may not realize that your fears cause a great deal of harm, not only to your own life, but also to others. Fear is not considered a fault. And yet it hides your light, it hides your love, it hides your understanding, and it hides your truth. So, it is not enough to overcome your character weaknesses; it is of equal importance to overcome your fears. As long as there is fear in your heart, then you harm other people, for you send out certain rays that have a very unsavory effect. Do you know that to us spirit beings fear has a very ugly smell? And do you know that your spirit -- your subconscious mind -- smells the fear of others all the time and is affected by it constantly? You can guard yourself against the fear emanations of others as well as against your negative response to them only by eliminating your own fear. For then you will consciously understand the fear of others and you will be be immune to it. Your lack of fear will make you intuitively aware of it in others and its presence will not reach your consciousness. But as long as you live instinctively, unknowingly, and unaware of your fear and its effects, then you are not only suffering from your own fear, but you are also penetrated by the fear of others. There is a vicious circle in motion that can be broken only if you gain sufficient self-awareness and understanding about these facts. If this is not done, then the fears of others -- which will reach you and increase your own fear -- will set up a hard wall between your soul and the souls of others. For there is nothing as contagious as inner currents, either positive ones or negative ones. So do not believe that it is sufficient to be merely a decent person. This term varies greatly according to a person's overall spiritual development and what he or she is capable of achieving in fulfillment and in purification. God evaluates each individual in a different way. Do not imagine that you do not harm anyone by simply refraining from the more obvious evil deeds, for as long as there is fear in your heart, then you harm in subtle ways, in ways that are not obvious, but nevertheless just as destructive.

My dear friends, think about what I have said to you and meditate on it. As I have previously indicated regarding this work we have undertaken, if you really want to follow this Path, then it is not sufficient to read this lecture just once. There are sentences which you should read several times and meditate on so that you gain enlightenment and deeper understanding about certain meanings. Do not read it just once, because you will forget it. There are deep meanings for you personally here and it is important that you work with them. It may often be necessary for you to go back and to study and to digest certain concepts that are still unclear, and therefore that you have trouble incorporating into your daily life. You yourself will know when this is necessary.

I have promised to show you how you should go about pursuing this Path. There are many ways. Each individual reacts differently. I cannot give personal guidance for the manner in which to work on this Path in these general lectures. But I will give you certain basic guidelines which will help you to make your own plan. You do not have to work according to my words to the exact letter. The details -- such as the manner or the timing -- may vary for each one of you. This is all right as long as you keep the basic structure in mind.

You know that to gain self-knowledge is of imperative importance. But how is this to be achieved? The first step is to think as objectively as you possibly can about your own person. That means, about all your good qualities and about all your faults. Write down a list, because this writing down, black on white, helps you to concentrate on and to condense what you have found out so far and it will prevent you from losing your grip over this knowledge. It might also shed a new light of understanding and create some detachment in your consideration of yourself.

When you have gained some knowledge about yourself and about your subconscious trends -- provided this list is clearly, concisely, and conscientiously put together -- then you will be able to combine certain factors of this first-found knowledge. The next step would be to ask someone who knows you well to tell you what he or she honestly thinks about you. I know that it takes some courage to do that. Consider this your first effort to overcome a little of your pride. By doing so, you will have attained a victory that will already free you of one inner chain. I would suggest that all of you who read these lectures get together with one or two friends who have the same endeavor and who are interested in the same goal. If some of you who read these words and do not belong to this group are alone in this spiritual interest and you wonder how to find the proper person to work with, then I advise you to pray for guidance in this respect and you will see what happens. For whoever needs help -- and knocks on the right door -- will be answered. I can promise you that if your wish is sincere, then you will be guided.

All of you should have no problem in arranging to meet on a regular basis with one other person and discuss things pertaining to your work on this Path. It is important in many ways not to do this work on your own. Opening your heart to another person brings a spiritual help that you could not receive by being always by yourself. If you are always alone, then no matter how hard you work, no matter how intelligently you read or study, and no matter how honest you are with yourself, you become locked up in a certain vacuum. If you share your problems and your work with another soul, then a completely different type of evaluation and understanding flows into you. It is the law of brotherhood. By remaining all alone, you violate the law of brotherhood in a subtle way.

In order to share your soul with another person you need a certain amount of humility. This must appear difficult in the beginning, but after some time it becomes second nature. Soon you will be able to cooperate with another person: to talk openly about your difficulties, about your weaknesses, and about your problems. And you will be able to receive criticism. Receiving criticism is soothing for the soul. Each one of you who has tried to open up will confirm that by merely discussing a problem that you have kept to yourself for a long time you bring it back to reality. Suddenly it loses some of its over-magnified proportions and some of its fearful aspects. By being yourself as you really are, you make a gift to yourself and, at the same time, you give love to the other person. In other words, you help him more by showing him your own human weaknesses than by trying to appear superior. Your partner or co-worker will do the same for you. Try to organize this, if you have not already done so. After a while, you will see how helpful and how fruitful this will be. It will give you much food for thought. You will help each other and you will learn a lot about brotherhood, about humility, about mutuality, and about detached understanding.

As far as asking for your faults is concerned, it may not always be best to do this work with the person you have chosen as your spiritual co-worker, because not all people who come here know each other very well. Your friends or your family have known you well. Therefore, they can tell you more about yourself than your new friends here. I would advise you to ask for the help of those who have known you for a long time, even though they may not share your interest in this work, regardless of what they believe. They will respect you for your sincere endeavor to improve yourself by wanting to learn about your faults. If you ask in the right way, if you explain to them that you cherish their opinion, that you want to get to know yourself in order to improve, and that you will not be hurt or angry with them if they should say something that may seem unjust to you, then you will be able to listen to them and to learn from what they have to say. It is possible that by doing so you may gain the understanding of the very people whom you wished to influence, but whom you were unable to convince by lecturing them. By sharing your desire to see your true self, you will be showing them a truth that maybe up to now they could not see.

When they tell you your faults, then think about them calmly. It might happen that what has been revealed to you at first seems entirely unjust, and therefore you may be hurt. You may be even more hurt if a truth is being told to you. But even if you have the sincere conviction that something they tell you is an injustice, collect yourself and try to think about it. There may be only one grain of truth in it. Your friend or the member of your family may see merely the superficial effect. In other words, he may not have the ability to see what lies underneath -- to understand all the complicated mechanisms of the soul; he may not choose the right words to express what he really means, or he might not understand why you react in this way. But that grain of truth that he was able to grasp might open a new door to your self-evaluation. It may not be something entirely new to you. But it is often necessary to consider the same fault from new angles and under a different light before you understand the various effects that this one imperfection has on your life. When you make your daily prayers and your daily meditations, then you should concentrate on this. It might be better for you to devote less time to vague introspection and to concentrate instead on asking God to help you to see yourself in truth and to give up the distorted view of yourself that you have adhered to for so long. Ask God for inspiration and for enlightenment about your true self. Ask God for help to be open to receive the truth from others in a sincere and productive way. Bring all the faults that you are beginning to see more clearly into your daily meditations. Start in this way, and you will have made a very good beginning.

You learn by training yourself to observe your inner reactions when you deal with the unpleasant in you. This is of the utmost importance. I began this lecture by saying that the lower self constantly resists your efforts. Here, for instance, you have a wonderful opportunity to clearly observe your undisguised lower self as it works and as it reacts. Try to observe it as you would observe another person. In other words, try to be a little less involved in it. When you are dealing with the unpleasant side of your personality, then try to put a little distance between your powers of self-observation and your ego, your hurt, your vanity, and the reactions of your lower self. First by recognizing your reactions and then by understanding them -- in other words, by knowing where they come from -- and perhaps by humoring them a little and by not taking yourself so seriously, you will gain another step on the ladder. But do not expect this from one day to the next. After some time of intensive regular work, you will come to the point where you will feel this distance between you and your hurt little ego quite clearly. Then you will be able to humor it and not to be involved in it quite as much. When you feel this detachment, then the door will open for further self-understanding. If you have not yet found a proper co-worker, then pray for guidance and you will be helped. Get together once a week and tell each other what you have accomplished so far, where you still have difficulties, and what your inner reactions are. This will give you a great deal of joy. Take your inventory and show it to someone close to you who can then help you to add to this list. Meditate on it, take it to God, and then ask Him to help you further through daily prayer.

I promise you that your efforts will not be in vain. If you are conscious of this work and if you meditate on it everyday, then you will certainly be successful. And it will not be too long before you will see actual results in your life. You will often have a feeling of deep contentment and peace. It is a peace that only a person who does what God expects him to do can have. When you have a good day -- a day when you feel strong, alive, and full of enthusiasm -- then it is the right time to make contact with God and to discover His truth in yourself. Consider the good days as a source of strength that will be with you when you have to face difficult times again. When you feel low, or when you feel discouraged, or when you feel doubtful, then it is important to know how to fight and not to give in to these moods. Choose these dark days to read what I am saying here, consider it, and then take it to God. It is not easy for human beings to form the right thoughts at the proper moment. It is a training in itself. But it does not take too much time and effort. It is really nothing but a habit that has to be formed. If you are low and discouraged, and if you feel like giving up, then study and meditate on what we are discussing here. Keep this material where it is easily available; go back to it. If you are still in doubt, then ask God for His truth and for His will for you. Then ask Christ to help you to be receptive to it. Do not succumb to your mood, but pray in this manner: "Father, is this Thy truth? Is this Thy will for me? I am open to receive Thy answer." If you do this sincerely and if you do it with your whole heart -- disregarding the resistance of your lower self that always lurks nearby in these moments -- then you will have gained a major victory. Take these words with you and use them as a first step, as a concrete beginning on this Path.

Do not forget that all the suffering in your life is the result of both your shortcomings and your fears. If you did not have any shortcomings, then there would be no fear in you. There would be no fear to make you miserable and no fear to make you blind to the joys of life. Remember that! It is up to you to break the chains of your fear by following this Path. The decision is in your power! The future is in your own hands. If you truly want it, then you will receive the strength that you need. You will have time to fulfill your daily duties infinitely better than you have done before. You will have time to enjoy life more fully without the fear and without the insecurity that live in your soul and that constantly gnaw at your happiness. If you trust that God will give you what you need, then you will gradually receive the material and the spiritual strength that you need in order to complete this wonderful work that is your Path.

March 28, 1958