Occupation With Self -- Right Faith And Wrong Faith

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings in the Name of the Lord. I bring blessings for all of you. Blessed is this lecture. There are many good, kind, and even spiritual people who say, when reading these lectures, that it is not good to think so much about the self. They feel that it would be better to think more about other people. They say that occupation with the self leads to selfishness. It depends entirely either on how the occupation with the self is done or in what way one thinks about other people. It is wrong to think about yourself in a destructive way. That means filled with self-pity, complaining about your fate, brooding about unproductive things that you may have missed in life and about things that you cannot control, and therefore that you cannot change. Whoever leans toward this sort of self-occupation should not only apply the advice of shifting the emphasis from yourself to others, but he should also learn to change the self-occupation towards a different direction, namely the productive one.

For those who cannot do the latter, then it is infinitely healthier to think of other people by helping them, by giving up some selfishness, and by sacrificing something in order to help those who may need you. However, those who are ready for the proper kind of self-occupation should think of others in the right way and should practice it at all times. One does not exclude the other. When you do something helpful and you forget your own worries and your own difficulties, then you are doing something really worthwhile all around, both for others and for yourself.

On the other hand, occupation with others can also be practiced in the wrong way. Unfortunately, it very often is. Constantly thinking of other people's affairs, criticizing them, and judging them does not help you to become less selfish. The mere fact that you are thinking about others instead of thinking of yourself is no guarantee that you act spiritually, just as the mere fact that thinking of yourself -- if done in the right way -- is no proof of your selfishness. It all depends upon how it is done. In both wrong extremes people often deceive themselves. If they think about others destructively and judgingly, then they try to believe that this is good. They are holding on to a once-heard statement that occupation with the self is harmful. They use this truth in the wrong way to rationalize their wrong reaction. On the other hand, the unproductive and weakening kind of self-occupation is often hidden under the following mask: "I must get to know myself. I must analyze my feelings." But nothing of the sort is ever done. So be careful in what way you think about yourself and how you think about others. Test yourself in this respect.

There is also the possibility that a person who is highly developed spiritually may use all his efforts in thinking about others, in sacrificing for others -- in other words, helping them to the best of his ability -- and thus doing a great deal of good. However, even more is expected of such a person because his spiritual development would warrant it. And that is the purification of his motives and the self-knowledge that are the indispensable requirements for his spiritual development. Such an individual may neglect this part of his task and escape the issue by the strong emphasis on helping others. I say that this help to others need not suffer merely because you know yourself better. On the contrary. Please, try to find out whether some of you may not belong in this category.

All of you who read these words are ready for the right kind of self-analysis, which never needs to neglect the helpfulness towards others. You may already have the right actions and even the right thoughts in many respects, but as your development proceeds, then this is not enough. In order to accomplish this, it is imperative that you occupy yourself with self-probing, with self- testing, with severe self-criticism, and with the analysis of your deeds, of your thoughts, and of your emotions with regard to spiritual truth and law. For he who does not know himself cannot know others. He who does not understand himself cannot understand others. He who does not love himself cannot love others. The objection may be made that to love oneself means selfishness. This is true if self-love is practiced in the wrong way by self-indulgently shirking the necessary pain of life with all of its responsibility. This is the small self that should not be loved, but that must be treated severely by yourself. But if you have no healthy self-respect and if you do not love your greater being -- which is the divine being that you are -- then you can never truly love others. This self-respect and this love for yourself in the right way can come forth only if you do all that you have planned in spirit to accomplish on this earth in spiritual development. If this is neglected, then no matter how much you cover it with subterfuges and self-delusions, deep in your subconscious the fact remains that you are not developing as you should; that you are not keeping a number of spiritual laws in your emotions, if not in thoughts and deeds; and that you are escaping yourself in some way. All this leads to self-despisal. And this is the true cause of inferiority complexes, no matter how well these may be rationalized. Therefore, you can respect yourself only if you do the utmost spiritually in self-development and in sacrifice for others. Only when this well-founded self-respect is present in you can you truly respect others. So you see, my friends, how the circle must close here, too. The more you practice the right kind of self-occupation, the more unselfish you must become, and therefore the better you will be able to help others and do good works for them. Think critically about yourself and be compassionate with others. But many people, even spiritual people, do just the opposite. They ignore many of their faults -- their sick trends -- even those that are noticeable to everyone else. However, they are always ready to condemn others. If not by words, then they do so by their emotions and their thoughts.

It is important for all of you to learn to accept the shortcomings of other people, just as you must learn to accept your own. The right way to do so is all important. I have discussed this subject often enough, so I will not go into it again. To accept one's faults properly means neither self-abusing despair and discouragement because you discover yourself to be more imperfect than you thought you were; nor does it mean to want to remain as you are. You will always find two entirely wrong extremes and one middle path -- which is the most difficult -- concerning every individual human trend. Therefore, perhaps you will come to a better understanding of the fact that nothing in itself is ever either good or bad, that nothing in itself is ever either right or wrong. It is always the how. In other words, the middle path between the two wrong extremes that determines whether you are on the right track or not. So only when you accept yourself in the proper way will you be able to accept others as they are and live according to this spiritual law that demands from you that you use your efforts where they can bring results. And that can only be on yourself. You are the only person over whom you have the power to bring about a change. You can never change another. Therefore, your efforts in that direction are lost, are wasted. However, you can help to influence another person inasmuch as he or she may then decide to change himself or herself in turn. This influence can be productive only if you set the example first. As long as the faults of other people bring you disharmony of any sort, then this indicates that deep down you resent even more the fact that you cannot do so. This inner reaction means the breaking of a spiritual law. This should be the best indication to you of where you stand in accepting yourself as you are and doing so in all humility. The more serene you remain in the face of other people's faults, then the more does it mean that you have accepted yourself as you are. Thus you will have a healthy basis in your soul, no matter how many imperfections still remain in you. However, the more you inwardly fight against other people as they are at present, then the more you refuse to accept yourself. Think of that, my dear friends.

So you must learn to accept people as they are and you must learn to be tolerant of the faults that you have. Often you must go even further than that. You particularly condemn in another person the very faults that you yourself possess. You are not aware of this, yet it is so. For instance, only by getting to know yourself thoroughly can you accept other people better, understand them better, and love them better. In order to be tolerant, you do not have to be blind. It often happens that a basically intolerant person does not want to see another person's faults because he is afraid that by noticing them then he could not continue to love this person. In addition to this wrong reaction, such a person will then be convinced that he is very tolerant because he never sees the faults in those he loves. This is another one of those masks that man often takes on. Real tolerance and real acceptance are to be found in the person who sees clearly another's faults precisely because he is not afraid to love and respect that person any less because of them. With such an attitude you not only help others around you, but you also help yourself. I beg all of you to think carefully about this subject. In your next meditation, ask yourself whether you are too critical about others, whether you actually condemn them, even if you do not consciously think so. Your emotional reactions to other people may amount to that. Test yourself in this respect. Furthermore, ask yourself if you are not blind to some of your own faults, while you are busily fighting against the imperfections of others. I can assure you that if you do that and if you react in the right way towards your findings, then you will gain a great new peace by this change of attitude. For what robs you of your peace and of your inner harmony is never what others do, but always and solely your wrong attitudes and your inner fight against those conditions that you cannot change -- and, what is more, that you are not supposed to change. You are supposed to change yourself. Once you have done that, then you will be free, and you will feel a new independence concerning other people's behavior or reactions that can never bring you any harm in the last analysis.

Now I should like to discuss two facets of faith. First of all, there are many people who are sincere in their endeavors for their spiritual development, yet their faith is not whole. Somewhere there is always the hidden doubt: "Is it really true? Is it not my imagination? Am I not being deluded about all this?" I should like to talk about what to do with such a trend. In the first place, it is not advisable to push this sneaking doubt aside. Often you do this out of a sincere good will, for a part of you does not want to have these doubts. You believe that by hiding these doubts, then they will somehow disappear. But nothing that is pushed into the subconscious can be dealt with successfully. You are afraid to let the doubts rise to the surface because you assume that this might then change your course. In other words, that you might fail to go on in your spiritual endeavors.

However, this need not be so. Once you clearly understand that your doubting part is not the whole of your personality and that in spite of its existence there is also another part in you that does believe, then you will not fear that the realization of your doubts may lead you to give up your spiritual strivings. The fact is that the human soul is full of contradictory currents in all respects. The sooner you understand this and you do not despair when you encounter the negative part or the part that you do not want to recognize, then the better it will be for you. The trouble connected in doing so arises from your mistaken notion that either one trend is true or the other trend is true. In fact, both have their reality in your soul and they fight with one another. This fight can never be successfully carried out as long as you lack the courage to acknowledge that side in you that you do not like to own. It will be easier to do that if you understand in principle that you can, and if you realize that you consist of two contradictions in one respect at the same time. Whether this concerns this question of faith versus doubt, or any other character problem, makes no difference. Once you have acknowledged that doubting part in yourself, then follow this advice. Know that it is God's grace when this complete knowledge (I do not even refer to it as faith) and the experience of God's existence is given to a person. Try to develop humility concerning this lack of complete faith. Say to yourself: "I have not deserved this grace. I am not the judge of what I deserve or not deserve. I have to fight my way through with my half-faith. The willing part in my being wants to develop. It wants to become a better person. It wants to become a person who is emotionally mature, so as to be able to handle life better, to love others, and to help others more effectively. In this holy endeavor I will wait patiently and humbly until the grace of God is given to me."

If you cultivate these thoughts and these feelings and if you continue to battle with your lower self -- that always wants to obscure the way and that always wants to obstruct your path -- then I promise you that one day this complete faith must be yours. Then you will have experienced God in such a way that you will be utterly convinced. However, just as the experience of other other people and the grace of other people cannot be convincing for you -- regardless of how hard they may try to tell you -- it will be the same with you when you experience God's truth and God's existence in your life. You will not be able to transmit this to others who are still battling for the attainment of this divine grace -- namely complete faith. Each individual has to gain this major experience and change in soul development by his own efforts.

Another facet of faith is the following. There are people who do have complete faith, as complete as it can be possible for the individual in question. For every impurity of the soul also influences the incompleteness of faith. Usually you are unaware of this. Perfect faith would mean no disharmony whatever in your life and no fear in you in any respect. But none of you have gone that far. However, there are some in whom faith is stronger than it is in others. But often in people of this kind there exists an unrecognized feeling or trend that he or she is something special to God. He is a favorite of the Lord. He is convinced that he holds a very particular position in his relationship to the Father. He is something unique, and therefore he thinks that he can possess God for himself. This is not only a harmful feeling, but also a dangerous one. It is dangerous because there is so much pride contained in it; and also because it is so easy to deceive oneself. The self-justification is always ready at hand that all this is wonderful and that it is an expression of one's devotion and spirituality. Here we have one of those cases where good and pure motives -- in this case the desire to come near to God, the love for the Creator -- mingle with the bad and impure ones: in this case spiritual pride and separateness from one's fellow creatures. Since you will be utterly unaware in your intellect that such feelings exist in you with regard to your relationship with God, then it is your task to test yourself as to whether and how strongly this may apply to you. When you have discovered such feelings -- even to a small extent -- then think that you are not rated any higher or any more than anyone else in the eyes of God. This feeling that you are something special to God can be considered as a transitory state in your development. It means that your longing for God and your love of God are awakening before your pride and your selfwill have left you. In this temporary state these two opposite trends combine. But you must be aware of it and you should not believe that this is right and good. It is part of your growing process. And it has to be finely sifted and purified by yourself. I invite those of you to whom this may apply to test these feelings when you think about God, when you feel God in you, and when you strive in your desire to get nearer to Him. Though you feel that this is all as it should be, is there not somewhere in you this hidden feeling that you have never acknowledged in which you believe yourself nearer and dearer to God than other people are? The root of this feeling may exist even in people whose faith is not real as yet. But it will come out stronger once faith becomes whole -- as the transitory process mentioned before. So please, my dear ones, test yourselves here too. And when you have found that this may apply to you -- at least to a small degree -- then you should begin to work conscientiously by concentrating on your relationship with your fellow creatures. You will often find that there is a particular intolerance in people who feel themselves specially loved by God. There is also a kind of arrogance towards others -- perhaps not always in your outward behavior, but in your inner attitude. In your meditations try to choose a person whom you do not respect particularly; or one who particularly irritates you. Then think how much God also loves this particular person, just as much as He loves you. Even if the other person happens to be spiritually less developed, then he is still loved by God. This will be a wonderful exercise. It will be exactly the medicine you need.

The human soul is a very complicated piece of machinery, if I may use this expression. Purification does not lie merely in the fact that you overcome your faults. This is not easy and it takes a long time. It is possible only after you have understood many of your trends and reactions of which you are still unaware. So your immediate goal cannot be perfection, even though it is your ultimate goal. Know this ultimate goal. But first work toward your immediate goal. And that immediate goal is the following. First knowing and then accepting yourself as you are; having no illusions about yourself; attaining a healthy attitude towards your shortcomings; learning to live according to life's rules; not shrinking away from the necessary difficulties of life. In short, it encompasses all that you are learning here. Only after this is accomplished will you gradually begin to alter some of your wrong trends -- and therefore begin to react differently. But only then. First clarify your motives and purify them. Separate the wrong ones from the good ones in one and the same action or in one and the same reaction. That is your task at the present time. And when you discover that your faith is lacking, then do not stop in your strivings. For you are a good person and as a good person you want to become even better: more whole and more loving, so as to do more good around you. Even if you cannot undertake this hard work all the time for the sake of God because you are not sure that He really exists, then do it for the sake of your love of others. This is a love that is a basic part of you. It often happens that he whose faith is still weak has a greater love for other human beings than the person whose faith is strong and who feels that he holds a special position in God's eyes. Both are transitory states and one day will even out and will harmonize in perfection.

When tests befall you -- as they must -- then you should pray that your thinking capacity will not be paralyzed too much. For that is what usually happens to a person who finds himself in a difficult situation. Just hold on to this thought: "Father, give me a clear outlook, even though in this moment I find myself confused, unhappy, and mixed up. Help me to remember what I know. Help me not to forget everything I know. Let me see Thy truth in this situation, instead of the way the truth appears to me in the limited outlook that I have now." We often observe that when you are undergoing a test, then you see things completely distorted. When you are convinced that the negative outlook that you have is the only truth, then you despair so easily. In such moments you forget even that which ordinarily you would think of at once and that which ordinarily you would see clearly. It does not occur to you to ask for the truth of God because even for that your thoughts are too encased in darkness. But after you come out of this darkness, then you will be aghast at having been so blind. You can save yourself many difficult times, many crises, by turning to God at once and by realizing what I am explaining to you. Fight this temporary blindness by training your thoughts and your subconscious to get a strong hold of this approach. Do not wait for the tests to come before you train yourself, so that when the tests do come, then you will meet them with better mental equipment. Be blessed, be in God.