Outer Will And Inner Will -- Misconception About Selfishness

By The Pathwork Guide

Greetings, I bring you blessings, my dearest friends, blessed is this lecure.

Now we shall discuss the question of will power. It is said that with the proper application of will power practically anything can be achieved. Yet, you all know and have had the experience of wishing for something strongly, but not achieving it. This is due not only to unconscious contrary will-currents that divide your will, but also to something that is vastly overlooked. It is the fact that two different kinds of will exist: the inner will and the outer will. This is very important for you to understand.

Let us see what is the difference and how to distinguish between the two. You will be able to confirm the truth of my words if you examine your feelings and your reactions in the proper light. Each one of you has surely experienced both kinds of will power, but without knowing that there is a definite distinction and difference between the two. Knowing this difference will open further doors for understanding yourself, for understanding others, and for understanding the laws of the universe.

The outer will is tense, impatient, and cramped. The inner will is calm, relaxed, and unhurried. The outer will is anxious and doubtful. The inner will is certain, knowing neither anxiety nor doubt.

Impatience arises out of doubt as to the desired result. Upon examination we find that impatience cannot exist where there is certainty. Because of uncertainty, or doubt as to the results, one cannot afford to wait with calmness. Hence, impatience, doubt, and anxiety are closely linked. Since the inner will knows no doubt, it can bide its time, and therefore will ultimately prevail.

In order to succeed the outer will must be sustained by the inner will, at least to some extent. In the measure that the inner will functions, to that extent success will be achieved. If the inner will power is small in relation to the outer will (with all its conflicting currents), then the desired result will fail to materialize.

The inner will comes from the solar plexus. The outer will comes partly from the intellect and partly from superficial soul regions. The outer will is often motivated by immature feelings, by immature reactions, and by immature reasoning. The inner will comes entirely from your higher self.

Now let us consider why the inner will is kept from functioning. The obstacles are caused by the various layers of error, of deviation from truth, and of the many illusions that are prevalent in the manifest world. In short, the inner will is obstructed by the images, by the wrong conclusions, and by the misconceptions that you carry within you, both in your conscious mind and in your unconscious mind. These always make you uncertain and divided within, because deep inside you know that something is wrong. Although you might feel it only vaguely, deep down you know that there is something not in accord with truth. It will not clear unless you do the work of self-search and of self-finding. This vague feeling of something being wrong makes you uncertain as to your desires and the fulfillment of your wishes. Even if your desires are legitimate and healthy, you are still uncertain about them. This is not only because part of your motivation for the desired result may be immature and selfish, and hence overshadow your good and healthy motives, but also because your unconscious deviations and misconceptions, apart from the desire itself, suffice to cover your inner will, so that it cannot function. Let us suppose that you have a desire which is relatively little or not at all disturbed by unhealthy motives. Yet your inner will is kept from functioning fully due to your existing images, which may have no direct bearing on the particular wish. In short, the healthier your psyche, the better your inner will can function. The unhealthy psyche is always confused, always uncertain, not only about others and about the world, but mostly about itself. Confusion creates doubt; doubt creates impatience; impatience creates anxiety and tension. In addition to this chain reaction, we have other currents to consider as well. If doubt exists about a desire, then it is accompanied by a feeling of guilt. Yet the desire may be doubly strong, due in part to the healthy and strong motive and partly to the unhealthy motive. The latter always creates compulsion. Thus, guilt and compulsion -- two contrary directions -- further afflict the inner will.

You may desire a certain result with all your might, but due to the conditions indicated, your inner will cannot penetrate. What you outwardly wish is at the same time inwardly questioned by yourself. You not only doubt that you can gain what you wish, but you also doubt the rightfulness, the justification of it. Your vague, unconscious feeling as to your possible selfishness (due to immaturity) makes you doubt that you deserve the advantageous result. These doubts are the gravest hindrance to your inner will power.

The more your inner will is hindered, the more do you try to make up for it by strengthening your outer will. But the strength of the outer will is always unhealthy. It is a poor substitute. It is full of tension, of anxiety, and of impatience. Since it cannot function, it brings frustration, and with that a renewed doubt in yourself. Thus feelings of inadequacy and of inferiority are perpetuated and strengthened.

The outer will can be composed of healthy motives, too. Unhealthy motives, such as self-importance, pride, vanity, and arrogance can exist only in the outer will, but never in the inner will. The inner will is pure, healthy, and without doubt. It flows quietly. It knows. The outer will does not flow. It pushes and pulls in all directions. Seen from our vantage point, it is a harsh, uneven current, like a lightning flash, at times strong, at other times weak. It is angular, often pointed, undulating in direction and frequency. In contrast, the inner will maintains a slow and even flow; it is always rounded.

This shows the need for you to heal your soul of all unhealthy attitudes and negative reactions. It is important for your happiness. It is true that you can move a mountain with your will power if it is strong enough, but that will has to come from within. And that presupposes the existence of a healthy soul. If you investigate where your will comes from, then you will be able to understand yourself better. If and when you discover that it comes from the outer person, then you can then ask yourself why this is. In other words, what motives and what uncertainties exist in you that block your inner will. It will prove most useful for you to make a list of your desires. Then listen deep into yourself and, by being very finely attuned to how your will power feels, try to determine which will is operating. If it is the outer will, then you will have a slight feeling of doubt, certain scruples, a certain guilt, and perhaps a question as to whether or not you are entitled to it. Or else, your outer will is so impatient, so urgent, so tense that you are all tied up in knots when you think of this particular desire. Behind the urgency you are bound to find the same uncertainty and the same doubt that may be more obvious in other instances. Only, this time your doubt is covered up by the compulsion and the urgency that appear on the surface. In either case, I advise you to look into the unhealthy motives which may exist side by side with the healthy ones. The latter always serve as rationalizations for the former. The realization that you cannot get what you desire unless you free yourself of the unhealthy and erroneous motives may give you a renewed incentive for doing this work.

If you discover where your inner will does function, then you will see how differently you feel. You feel absolutely no qualms. You feel a calm serenity in your wish. You also feel the certainty that your wish will come true. It may take time, but you will not be impatient, nor will you be resigned. You will be at one with yourself. In the inner will there is a pure strength, a strength that does not make you tense. This work is very important for you, my dear friends. This is the only way you can eliminate the outer level of the will that hinders the inner will. Even if both will currents pursue the same goal -- in other words, even if the outer will and the inner will desire the same thing -- the mere fact that the outer will functions at all in its tense impatience prohibits the inner will from unfolding, from floating, from affecting the cosmic forces.

As I already said, your personal images and misconceptions often hinder your inner will. But so do certain mass images that you have created because of your personal inner conflicts. Now I would like to discuss one of these mass images or mass misconceptions. This is a very widespread one, affecting practically everybody to some degree. It is also a strong factor that prohibits the inner will from functioning. This is the concept of selfishness and unselfishness. There is so much distortion in most people as to what is selfish and what is not selfish.

It is frequently thought -- and if not consciously thought, then at least unconsciously felt -- that whatever brings you happiness must be damaging to another person. Hence, it is inevitable that your conscience bothers you every time you are happy, whether you are actually selfish or not. This guilt is bound to afflict your inner will for happiness. Your unconscious concept is that if you enjoy something -- in other words, if you get something that brings you pleasure and happiness -- then it is automatically at the cost of another person. Since you were taught that it is wrong to be selfish, then you must suppress your supposedly selfish desire. Thus you fail to distinguish whether your desires are actually selfish or not, and you indiscriminately suppress all your desires. The belief is that all desires for happiness are selfish. As a result of this mass image, you do not dare to desire at all. In the process of suppression, unable to distinguish one from the other, you lump together the really selfish desires with the really healthy desires -- which have nothing to do with selfishness. Thus, you have no way of sorting them out, of clearly seeing them, and of coming to terms with them. Only then would you be in a position to freely decide for some desires and against some others. In short, all desires aim for happiness. But happiness is selfish (in your unconscious concept). Therefore all desires are suppressed. However, they continue to exist underground. The really selfish desires in your subconscious mind give you an equal feeling of guilt as do the rightful desires. Both continue to claim and to clamor, although often without your awareness. On top of all this, the prohibition that you inflict upon them makes you resentful. You resent the world for not allowing you to be happy, while in reality it is your image which is the cause of your unhappiness. By suppressing all your desires and all your impulses, the childish and actually selfish ones cannot mature and refine themselves. They can mature only if they are faced and dealt with in awareness. At the same time, your legitimate and healthy desires and impulses, not selfish in the least, cannot find fulfillment.

You are all weighed down by the unconscious conclusion that something is selfish merely because it makes you happy. This is very tragic, my friends. It is a needless cost that you pay in happiness and joy. You do not dare to wish for your happiness because you fail to discriminate between actual selfishness and imagined selfishness. Every time a rightful and healthy impulse for self-expression manifests, you think of it in the same way as you consider your really immature and crude selfishness. Therefore, you treat it the same way.

The question is how to treat the real selfishness that exists in the immature part of every human being. Usually it is dealt with by suppressing the existing selfishness and superimposing over it a conpulsive unselfishness that is not really felt. This is the wrong way to go about it. Out of this stems the unconscious concept that it would actually be very pleasant to be allowed to be selfish. This notion gets a foothold within you and you unconsciously believe that being selfish would bring you happiness, but, alas, you are not allowed to. You wrongly think that if you were to give in to what you believe is selfishness, then you will neither be loved nor approved of. Since love and approval are necessary for you, you would rather forsake your happiness. The inner conflict can be stated thus: "If I could be selfish, then I could do anything I want. That would mean happiness. On the other hand, I cannot be happy if I am not loved and approved of. Therefore, I must become unhappy in order to be happy." This sounds completely illogical, but the immature subconscious is just so illogical and contradictory.

You can see what utter confusion exists in man's soul. I am sure that you will not have too much trouble confirming similar feelings in yourself. I venture to say that this conflict exists to some extent in all human beings, without exception. With some it may be less, but it is there nevertheless. The existence of this image accounts for the hopelessness that you often feel. This hopelessness finds an outlet in occasional moods for which you sometimes find outer reasons and rationalizations. This conflict is the underlying reality of that hopelessness. If this misconception were true, then happiness would indeed be an impossibility. You would be justified in being hopeless if you cannot be happy without being loved and if you cannot be loved if you are happy -- happiness being selfish according to this erroneous concept. There is unhappiness either way. You may fluctuate betwen these two alternatives, but either way you turn, you find yourself unhappy and frustrated. You often rebel inwardly and you try to force the world and people around you to break this law, or what seems to be a law.

Your conviction regarding this insoluble situation causes you to go about it in the wrong way. The irony is that you try to break it by actually living out your most childish and selfish impulses rather than by fulfilling your legitimate healthy ones. This must offend others and provoke them to react negatively towards you. This convinces you anew that your predicament is hopeless. Since your rebellion is of an unconscious nature, it does not occur to you to choose the really healthy impulses. In this unconscious process, you choose the most drastic examples for your experiment. These drastic examples are the selfish impulses. Only by a growing awareness and by conscious discrimination and selection can you be in the position to make the proper choice, and thereby receive proof that your conclusion is wrong. This conflict frustrates your inner will and therefore the deserved success of your desire.

The idea that selfishness would be a happier state if only it were allowed may exist only in the unconscious mind. At the same time you consciously know all the right answers. In this cases, a questioning in the proper way will bring you close to the inner contradiction and to your block in this respect. By going deeply enough, your answers will be less and less convincing, even to yourself. When this happens, then you will approach the afflicted area. But if you take the trouble to think about it for a while, then some of you may even become consciously convinced of your wrong conclusion.

Regardless of whether this misconception exists in your conscious mind or in your unconscious mind, how can you be free in the unselfish acts that you are called upon to do day in and day out? Whether you carry them out or not is not the point, for either way you will be in conflict. Not doing the unselfish act makes you feel guilty, doing it seems to be a violation of your will and of your conviction. In other words, it cannot be a free act, one that is independently chosen. When you do something out of such compulsion and not because you say yes to it, then how can you be at one with yourself? You must be divided, you must be in conflict with yourself, you must lose your inner peace and your sense of rightness. How can you be happy either in doing something that makes you feel guilty, or in doing something that appears to be against your personal interests? Either alternative brings you dissatisfaction as long as you live in this conviction.

Now let us examine why this concept is wrong. These words are addressed to that part of your personality in which you hold the misconception, on whatever level of your consciousness it may be.

First, not everything that makes you happy is automatically selfish, and therefore damaging to another, just because it makes you happy. Quite the contrary is true. As a happy person, you are better able to bring happiness and joy to others. You have the same right to consider yourself that another person has. Only as a free, strong, and happy person can you have fulfillment in life and be constructive in your environment. In order to accomplish this, you have to give yourself consideration, you have to respect your own rights; and these will not really conflict with the interests and the rights of others. Sometimes it may appear that way. The only way to determine this is by absolute self-honesty. There are no fixed rules. Your reactions may be either right or wrong regardless of whether they seem to be against the interests of another person.

It is essential to become completely aware of all your wishes, of all your impulses, and of all your motives. Only in that way can you discriminate and judge which ones are selfish and which ones are not.

As to actual selfishness -- which seems to be so desirable and so advantageous, either consciously or unconsciously -- I have this to say: in reality selfishness cannot offer any advantage to you, even if it seems advantageous at the moment. The more you expand your consciousness, the more this will become clear. You may still have difficulty in understanding this truth and you can only strive towards this fuller vision of the truth as a goal. But this outlook cannot become part of you as long as you try to force it upon yourself. In other words, as long as you act in the right way because you think you must; as long as the decision is not wholly your own and therefore free. In the meantime, all that you can and should do is to be honest with yourself. When it seems to you that the selfish act would be more desirable, then you can contemplate on it in the following way. If you pick an isolated event considering only its immediate causes and effects, then it will seem different than when you examine the same event in its larger context. In other words, a particular incident may actually seem to confirm your view that selfishness is advantageous. But if you follow through the chain reaction, then you are bound to gain a different perspective. This different view will give you the desire and the free will to decide for the unselfish act, rather than to be driven to it because you must. This will make a tremendous difference. It will automatically open a new vista, showing you that selfishness is not advantageous, either in the immediate instance or in the long run.

Your limited view is divorced from reality. As long as you see only the first effects of the act, then you do not possess a view of the whole picture. You only see a segment of it. A segment cannot convey the whole. Let us say that you are being shown a little stone of a big house. You can pronounce certain facts by looking at the stone. You can tell the quality and the material of the stone, as well as its color. But you cannot see the house in its entirety merely by having seen that little stone. You can evaluate neither its beauty, nor its style, nor its architecture, nor what the house is like inside. A segment gives you only a limited view of the whole. It is the same with the inner and outer actions, attitudes, and reactions of the human being. By considering only the immediate effect of an action, you continue to live in duality. You need to extend your view so that you are in a position to have a truer vision. This does not mean that you have to accept something by faith; nor does it mean that by being good your life in the hereafter will be a good one. The effect of a right action can be seen right here and now, while you are still on this earth plane.

When you feel that selfishness would be to your advantage, then you leave out the obvious. You fail to connect cause and effect. This is why your view is so blurred. You do not need supernatural vision, nor metaphysical knowledge, in order to tie up the obvious. You need only to think, to reach a little further, and to make contact with what is right in front of your eyes.

Let us suppose that you have made a choice between a selfish act and an unselfish act. The unselfish act does not seem to bring you any benefit, at least not directly. However, if you are objectively convinced that it is beneficial as such -- be it for the world at large, be it for a small group, or be it for just one person -- then it is bound to benefit you too in some way. Perhaps not always immediately, but often much sooner than you think. This conviction will grow in you. It will become a fact, but only if your decision for the unselfish act is free and not compulsive. In other words, if you are in wholehearted agreement with yourself that the action which you are undertaking is right. Decide for it only if you are convinced that it is right, and not because you want to receive a reward, in the form of affection, of love, or of approval from others; or in the belief that God will reward you for having been a good child. In other words, your action must be a self-chosen one for its own sake (no matter who seems to benefit from it immediately), rather than for something else that you wish to gain from it. When you act in this way, then you will be at one with yourself. This will widen your horizon and it will raise your consciousness to a higher degree of maturity. Then you will see the truth, that selfishness is not advantageous and that it is definitely not in your best interest. Or, to put it differently, that unselfishness is healthily selfish. In other words, that it is in your own best interest.

I said before that performing an unselfish act for a reward turns the act into a selfish one. However, if you commit the right act in the right and mature way, without ulterior motives and out of a free choice, then there will nevertheless be a reward of sort, namely the good feeling of being at one with yourself, the security that only self-respect can offer. To do something that you wholeheartedly approve of gives you added self-respect that is a decided advantage manifesting in many ways. It will give you, among other things, the strength to overcome many a weakness for which you may despise yourself. It will reduce certain fears and anxieties, especially when dealing with other people. Your fear of others is always based on your feeling of weakness and on your feeling of inadequacy. By coming to terms with your confusions, by making an independent decision for carrying out an unselfish act -- thereby being at one with yourself -- you gain the self-respect which reduces your feelings of inadequacy and of self-contempt that make you weak, and therefore fearful towards others.

I cannot emphasize strongly enough how important it is to know whether the unselfish act is chosen because you truly want to or because you think you have to. As long as the conviction that makes you want to is lacking, then you have to continue your work of self-search -- in other words, the work of examining your motives and your concepts in comparison with objective truth -- until you arrive at the point of conviction. Only then will you be in a position to ask yourself whether or not you agree with, you approve of, and you condone the issue in question. Only then are you capable of making a free choice, one that is not driven by your compulsions. This will show you that unselfishness is not a yoke that you have to take on against your own inner conviction. Instead, you will see the truth without a doubt, namely that unselfishness is really selfish in a healthy sense, and that it is to your advantage, provided your motives are right, your decision are free, and your reactions are mature.

This will free you of the misconception that selfishness could make you happy if only you were allowed to indulge in it. Because of this misconception, the other misconception exists, namely that happiness is selfish, and is therefore forbidden. Because of these wrong conclusions, your inner will cannot function. In other words, it cannot float out of you. Each time your desire for happiness manifests, an inner voice prohibits it. As a result, your inner will is broken. The desire may be reborn on an outer level, but, as I said before, the outer will cannot suffice in bringing you to any goal. It will only tear you apart; it will destroy your inner strength, your serenity, and your peace.

Try to recognize your will, where it comes from and how it feels. If and when you find that your inner will is blocked, then search for where you doubt the rightfulness of your desire and why you doubt it. At times this suspicion may be justified because your desire may actually be harmful to others, and therefore to yourself. At other times, your desire may be justified, but an unconscious unhealthy motive may exist together with the healthy ones. At still other times, a wish may be wholly right and good, but your misconceptions -- the one about selfishness, as well as others -- may prohibit your inner will from functioning.

This subject is concerned with a crucial problem that is widespread. We shall probably have to work on this subject with each one of you individually, to find out how if affects each one of you personally. The approach will have to vary with each person, but you can all prepare yourselves by thinking about it, by feeling how these words apply to you.

Are there any questions now, dealing with this subject?

QUESTION: Sometimes you do an unselfish act and you know that it isn't your true self acting, yet you want to do it in order to change. You don't want to have compulsions, but, at the same time, you get so tired, so exhausted, and you don't understand what's lacking....

ANSWER: The fact that you get tired and exhausted is a sign that you still commit the unselfish act against an inner conviction, and really out of a compulsion. You want to be good and unselfish, but deep inside you still feel that the selfish act would be more to your advantage. Thus you force yourself, and this is what makes you tired. You cannot immediately lose your compulsion and reach the state in which you choose freely. This free choice can be made only after you realize that the unselfish act is to your advantage, while the selfish one is not. This misconception may be deeply buried, and therefore it has to be made conscious first. You cannot bypass this stage. If you try it, then your unselfish action will remain compulsive and unfree. In other words, you first have to become completely aware of the fact that you do not want to do the unselfish act and why. You have to become aware of your rebellion in having complied with unselfish acts in the past, as well as with the guilt for your selfish actions. This part of the work is essential, although a bit painful for a while. But it cannot be dispensed with. Only after this stage is thoroughly surmounted will you be in a position to discriminate, to judge, and to choose your own actions and your own attitudes. Then you will be able to re-form your concepts.

People undergoing analysis often get to the stage where they find out that their legitimate desires and impulses were suppressed. Along with these legitimate desires, they also bring out the selfish ones which they now live out, thus going from one wrong extreme to another. In such cases, the person does not follow through. He remains stuck halfway. Besides, it is not necessary to act out your selfish impulses. You have more than the two alternatives of either suppressing your selfishness or acting it out. You can recognize it and evaluate without giving vent to any selfish or damaging conduct. But recognize it in all honesty you must, for otherwise you cannot proceed. Incidentally, this is the reason why analysis is often accused of making people more selfish. If properly handled, then this need not be the case. You do not have to act out the wrong now simply because in the past you have done the right actions out of wrong motives. If you wish, you can continue to do the right actions even while you are in the process of becoming aware of the fact that you do not like to do it. This is a temporary state anyway, no matter what your outer action is going to be. In other words, it is a period of transition. For the time being, it is important that you become aware of why you are doing an act and what you feel when you are doing it.

Let me summarize. Before this search has begun you are convinced that you have to do an unselfish act and you hate doing it, but without being aware of your hate for this act. The next stage is when you find out your hate and your rebellion for this act. You will further find that you probably blame other people who (so you wish to believe) force you into it. The next step will be that you reconsider why you are doing this act in reality, and what your real motives are. In most cases, you will see that you do so because you think that it is expected of you, and you do not wish to offend the people because you want their approval. Upon further investigation, you will realize that, these reasons notwithstanding, you would really prefer to do the selfish act. Upon asking yourself why, you will receive the answer from your own conviction -- from your image -- that choosing the selfish act is either more advantageous or more pleasant for you. At this point you have touched the misconception, that can be corrected only if and when you are entirely aware of it -- in all of its facets and in all of its degrees -- and you are willing to replace it with the true concept. When you arrive at this point, then you will have to recognize that the act in question not only was not unselfish -- because it was compulsive and therefore unfree -- but also because through it you wished approval. Therefore the apparently unselfish act was really selfish. The selfishness was merely shifted.

Each one of you must go through this process that I broadly outlined here, and apply it specifically to yourselves. Then you can decide whether you wish to perpetuate this seemingly unselfish act or not. Your answer may vary, according to what the case may be. In the process of this work you may discover that you have done things that are unjustified and unnecessary, and that people have taken advantage of you in a way that will ultimately prove damaging to themselves. But there may be other instances where the action as such may have been valid and reasonable, and you may choose to continue it, even though your motives may still be confused. In either case, the important thing is to recognize your feelings, your motives, your reactions, your inner, often unconscious, concepts; and, most important of all, to uncover your own self-deception.

Only by allowing your true emotions to come to the surface will you finally reach the point where your inner concept will change, and therefore your conviction will be in truth.

QUESTION: Although I have made the free choice myself, knowing all these wrong motives, while at the same time desiring to change, I still feel it is a little selfish. It is not so much for wanting approval or love, but perhaps that I want to try a new way.

ANSWER: Perhaps you do not want approval or love so much (although you may want it without being fully aware of it), but you may wish to do God's will, to be a spiritually advanced person. It does not matter what the motive is. Such a motive may also be superimposed. The moment you feel that the selfishness is still there -- in spite of the recognition of your negative motives -- then it means that you are not fully aware of all your feelings, of all your unconscious conclusions, and of all your thoughts. You may not yet be aware to what extent a part of you still believes that your original selfish desire would actually be more pleasant. You may not even be fully aware of what these desires are. Because of this misconception, the desires themselves are often suppressed. Therefore, they have to be brought out of hiding. You have to find this out: "What is it that you really wish and why do you wish it?" As simple as this initial work may sound at first, and later may be, for most of you it is much more difficult in the beginning than you might think. When these first steps are accomplished, then the work will become much easier. The trouble is always that before a certain point is reached in this work man does not really know what is going on within himself. He feels disturbed, but he cannot put his finger on the reason. You are often utterly unaware of what your desires really are and why you have them. When you learn to become aware of this each time you feel disturbed and each time you feel anxious, then you will have made great progress on your path. You cannot go deeper and analyze these factors if you are not first aware of what it is that you want. When you find out, then you will often experience that the disturbance diminishes by the mere fact that now you know what you want and what it is that really disturbs you behind your rationalizations.

My dearest friends, may my words give you further material and food for your inner progress. They contain a very important seed for all of you. These words may open new vistas toward a new freedom. They contain one of the important keys to let your real self out of its imprisonment. Be blessed all of you, my dear ones, be in peace, be in God.

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April 29, 1960