You have my heart,
you don't know it yet.
You hold my world
in the palm of your hand.
Just as easy as you took it,
easily, you can crush it.
You know not what you do
to me, but sometimes I can't help but think
that you do.
Am I foolish
to allow you with my whole life
in your hands?
To afriad to say
I love you,
for fear you will
run away.
To afraid to let you
see me,
for fear you will
turn me away.
To afraid not to
love you,
for fear I will fade away.
I just lost something
important to me.
I can't find it anywhere.
I feel so empty
without it.
I can't see through
the tears to look for it.
Damn it! I feel so
stupid for loosing it.
Has anyone seen my heart,
I know it is lost forever.
Times that we are apart,
it's like I loose
a piece of myself
to you.
It's so easy to
submit to you.
Can you really help
me be
whole agian?
I cried myself to sleep
last night agian.
I remembered the way
it used to be, before
there was you.
It was nothing special then.
I compared it to times we had
together,
and it was special
to me.
Now I think about how things
are now, its not the same, you're not
the same.
I once told you
I wasn't stupid,
just pretened to be.
You forgot about me.
I know who you are now,
and I still need you,
that's what bothers me.
You made me feel
stupid and alone.
The sight of me now,
even makes me sick.
You made me
hate myself,
cause I could never
hate you.
Im waiting for you
to tell me what to do.
The waves crash
against the boat.
There is no one
out here but me.
Dreaming of my fears,
knowing what they do,
I dive into them
with nothing
to hold on to.
I struggle, they win.
I am my fear, alone and drowning.
I feel this rage
inside of me.
He feeds on my soul,
twisting it as he
nashes his teeth
into the flesh.
Why is he here?
I didn't invite him
into my soul,
he came on his own.
I thought it would be ok
to allow my soul company.
Now he is out of control.
The pain my soul feels
is unimaginable to him.
I think he rather enjoys
watching my soul tremble.
My soul and I,
we are helpless
agianst him.
There is no other
choice for us
but to give into
the rage and let him
take us over completely,
so we are not to loose him.
I see a child become
a shadow of an older man.
Her hair is as bright as the
tomatoes we picked from the vines.
I remember my foot
in side your tracks as we walked
down the rows of tilted earth.
You were as tall as the corn stalks.
Your hands were blistered
from the wooden handels
of the tiller. I wanted to be
like you.
"Papaw, when are you gonna teach me
to box? "
"Why do you want to box, little girls
should be singers."
Lying in your hospital bed,
where the dark fiend was gripping
you, we pretended to shell peas,
and I sang "Send me the pillow"
Email me at CHULL1@prodigy.net
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