A long long long long time ago before many things there was a little soldier who had somehow detached himself from the pack and was wandering loosely in our valley.

Some people thought he was running away whilst others said he was just looking for love.

It went on for a few weeks, and no-one knew where he slept or ate his dinner. Always alone. Of course no-one thought to strike up a conversation as he had such a shy face and they were busy going about their business which was usually cleaning and hunting whilst drunk .

I always sit at the window smiling when I work at my embroidery, unless it's pissing it down.

I used to watch him go by and smile, wishing he might look up and see something in me, framed by honeysuckle.

He was a good height with broad shoulders and neat ears, I couldn't picture him waving his sword around killing anyone somehow. I like to think he had a thing about wearing uniform and he was just going for a walk every day showing it off and that he wasn't really a soldier at all. But he wasn't a pervert either.

A year passed and I hadn't seen him. Instead of fading his trudging image had become more vivid in my mind. I felt that we had been meant to meet and it had gone wrong. I carried his handsome features in my head and wondered what his favourite catchphrase might be, which side of the plate he kept his runner beans on etc. Whether he liked a bath or a shower, and if I would ever get the chance to open some new soap for him.

Now my life had taken a strange turn for the worse and nothing ever seemed to fall into place properly after that. I've started to forget important things and only remember the stupid meaningless details which my conversation is full of.

Sir Gawaigne and I hardly speak anymore unless we have visitors , and in any case we stopped having sex ages ago when he first got his bike.

In the summer when other people were wearing their floral dresses and slingbacks with matching handbags I took my uniform collection out of storage, where it had lain since the Gilbert and Sullivan concert I was going to star in which got such glowing reviews.

None of the villagers acknowledged or spoke to me. They were afraid of me as I was a soldier. I wanted to protest "I have never killed anyone in my life!" But how do I know that. It is all down to detail.......