FRUSTRAR
(OnStar parody)


CALLER: (over phone) I've just locked my keys in my car.

OPERATOR: Well, what'd you do that for?!  That was dumb.

CALLER: It was an accident.  The door closed before I could catch it?

OPERATOR: Mm-hmm.  And what am I supposed to do about it?!

CALLER: Well, can you send a signal to open my door?

OPERATOR: Why should I?!  What did you ever do for me?!

CALLER: Uh, I pay the subscription every month?!

OPERATOR: Well, I never see that.  I've never seen one thing with your name on it, around here.

CALLER: Well, can you just help me open my door?!

OPERATOR: What for?!  You'll just lose your keys, or something, when you get home, and expect me to bail you out again.

CALLER: (unintelligible)

OPERATOR: This is your own stupid fault, not mine.  So why should I help you?  I think somebody needs to learn a lesson.

CALLER: (pause) Can I talk to a manager?

OPERATOR: What, and wake him up?!  Not this time of night, buddy.  You're just so selfish, never think about anybody but yourself.

CALLER: (unintelligible, but aggravated)

OPERATOR: (continuing) See how you are?  I tell you things like it is, and all you do is give me a pissy attitude.

CALLER: Never frigging mind, I'll find a damned coat hanger.

OPERATOR: What?!  Don't you hang up on me, this isn't over-- (CALLER hangs up) Ahh, what else is new?!  Some people just have no appreciation for when they've got things good.

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