ahh, my obsessive side begins to show through...

My beautiful Dark Angel, He speaks to me
But not in words.
No one listens when He speaks,
So they don't understand.
But i listen; i understand My Lord.

my Dark Angel, He is sitting upon the stair
His back is to me.
i want to reach to Him, but i cannot,
Cannot touch those beautifully sculpted shoulders,
That perfectly made back, and most of all
i cannot touch that sacred black glod that is Yours,
That people insult by naming it "hair."

It takes all my self-control not to reach out
To You, my Dark Angel, to caress You
But, i cannot.

He is still sitting upon the stair
Testing me, torturing me with the Want of Him-
With the Want to touch Him and His Godliness.
i worship You, my Dark Angel, who was sent to me by the gods,
You who are more my God than they.
i worship Your Beauty, Your Talents, Your Body, and Your Darkness...
Oh, my Dark Angel, you move with such
Grace and fluidity and without care.

Ah, i wish to tell Him, my Dark Angel,
To let Him know i will care for Him,
Will be with Him always and For Ever.
But my Dark, Beautiful Angel does not know.
And i cannot tell Him
my Dark Angel...

Would i not be the richest person if i were with Him?
To be at His command to serve, comfort and just to be there for
Him.
After all, i worship Him as my God.
Even though the gods sent Him to me,
He is more Godlike to me than they are.
But this has been said before.

All day i am thinking of Him, just of Him.
i feel unfaithful to the one who is Mine, but
i cannot stop thinking of, wishing for, wanting my Dark one,
my Dark Angel
How my days and nights are tortured thinking of You,
How i wish You could know, i wish we could talk.

There He is, but i am not from His point of view.
Please!! turn Your head that holds those brown eyes of Yours,
Turn You head, connect Your eyes to mine
And know.
Know all that is about Me.
Look through my eyes, straight into my soul
(to relieve this torture You have put upon me)
And read me; and You can with those magickal brown eyes of Yours.
my soul and my heart is in turmoil because of You!
Make it stop! It is You fault! i hate You!...i love You.

Dark Angel
You have been given this name, by me (know me!)
Please wear it with the knowledge of what
You know, about me, if You should look.

Ah, I am unfaithful, please forgive me my Love.
But what can I do? I just do not know.
It's Him, you know. The One the gods sent to test me with,
To test my Love for you.
And it is working! Their little scheme, their little plot.
i have fallen for Him- the One they call "Dark Angel."
But I shall still proclaim my love for you!

For I do. I love you still, but i also have a love for Him.
Can you understand? Can you forgive?
Please, I have tried to resist, but human flesh is so weak.
My spirit is strong, I will not give you up, my First Love.
If you cannot forgive me, then I will let you go
But I am not ready to let you go of my own Free Will.
Will you keep me and comfort me and say "It's okay"?????

Ah, but I have been unfaithful (in thought, not in deed),
please forgive me my Love.

i wish that He would not do that!
Sit upon the stair in front of me,
Taunting me, teasing me.
Why are You cruel to me, my Dark Angel?
What more do You want??
i already worship You more than my gods.
i already love You more than them.
What can i give to You so You will stop?
What can i do so You will desist?

Or do You do it on purpose
So that i will notice You?
Oh, my Dark Angel believe me, trust me,
i know You are there.

He is so pale His dark hair i long to touch
His dark eyes i long to read, to know.
To know Him and all that He is:
What He likes What he dislikes.
What He wants in His woman for
i wish to be that woman
By His side,
Touching Him, loving Him;
Bringing Him to the brink of Ectasy just to pull Him back
Until i finally set Him free in a blinding
Surge of Passion.

Then, He will be mine for He
Shall not find any other who can bring Him such
Happiness as I.
Without Him there is a void in me,
A lonliness that will not be healed.

Afraid
Why do I not break up with the one who is Mine?
I am afraid.
Afraid to lose what I have.
What do I have?
I have a Friend who is there reguardless
I have One who will hold me when I need to be held,
Who will comfort me and tell me empty lies
When that is what I need.
Do I have anything else?

Yes.

Someone for me to love and someone to love me,
For That is the greates thing in the World:
To love and to be loved.
I also have a completeness that I do not want to let go of.
I am afraid to be alone again
To have that hole in my Heart that is a
Pain to my soul, literally.

Though I know that I cannot stay with him Forever
(nor would I want to)
I also know, and have known, that it will be I who
Destroys the relationship.
And I do not want to hurt him.
Just one more thing I am afraid to do.

Why is it so,
How can it be
That i am attracted to You?
The attraction that tortures my days and
Fills my nights; with and of
You.
The Love that i have for You,
Oh, that dark, Forbidden Love
That makes me want
To have You
To touch You
To love You.

Ah, the way You sway when You walk, it
Makes my head spin.
When You look at me, it
Causes my heart to soar.
And, when You are near me it is
Too much.
Oh what a simple thing (yet complicated too)
Is this Forbidden Love i have for You.
Forbidden only because
You do not realized i am here for You, and
i already have one whom I love, whom I can love.

Long, slender, graceful
Beautiful, pale, dark
I worship Him.
To Himself, to His friends
To His own world He keeps.
I am jealous-
Distant yet here,
But near and far away;
From me

His beauty overwhelms me.
i'm a cup that needs to be filled with
Him.
i should burst if He would never know,
If i cannot let it out.

I write Him, and dream and draw
Him.
Why is it not enough?
Why doesn't He know? would He though?
He looks alone, in need for a
Forever-No-Matter-What Friend,
     (I'LL BE IT!)
A Companion, maybe a...Lover
     (PLEASE. ME!)
So He would not be and look
Alone.

And then i, the cup,
Would be truly Filled.

Dark Mystery follows wherever He travels
Making sure He belongs only to
Them.
Love follows wherever He goes
Making my life a living hell.

Red?!
my Angel wht were you thinking?
Why do You wear
Colors that make you look
So Beautiful?
Your hair looks
Darker.
Your skin looks
Smoother.
Today you tempt me more,
Your beauty overwhelms me like a
Tidal wave.

© 1999 tsiobo@yahoo.com