red hair
light skin
blue-green eyes
strong arms
raspy voice.
sexy
handsome
all I want.
HIM
RED
BEAUTIFUL ALL AROUND;
INSIDE AND OUT.
HE
POETRY
FLOWS THROUGH
AND EMBODIES.
HELP
TORTURE
I LOVE;
DOES HE?
Sometomes when he is around, near to me, this soul of mine likes to have me believe he feels the same towards me as I towards him. I cannot get him from my mind. Would he know if I wrote down "the tricks of a longing, empty soul?" For the fields of coppermoon and dust I know all too well in my mind. The pitures of his poetry he has given to me, will not let me alone. The pictures of his dreams he showed to me, I will never leave behind. The music his eyes sing to me will be dancing through my ears forever more. The emotion his heart throws at me makes me vunerable and weak and very aware of him. To have him know, to tell him, to show him this I'm writing would be a great relief; and an even greater loss, of a friend.
The hands--
my hands,
Touched that body--
his body;
And when my hands--
then hands,
Touched his body--
that body,
This body, that is mine,
Was taken over with emotion.
When those hands--
his hands,
Touched the hair--
my hair
My happiness flowed into contentment which flowed
into longing which flowed into caring which flowed
into love.
His eternal beauty will burn into my soul
Never stopping, never dimming.
The touch of him against me is what I crave.
Then the circuit is complete
Of love and hate;
Of friends and aquaintances;
Of dark and darker;
Lonely and loneliness
Together at last.
Even if just through friendship,
It is enough that he--
with his hands,
Knows me,
with my hair.
And that he--
with his body,
Should be near.
The air around in indescribable.
Maybe he is poetry, or music.
But he bares his soul to me,
Everytime he is near,
Unknowingly.
I cry over his beauty.
I yearn for his attention.
I would do anything
For my
Red-haired angel.
I could face my fears,
I could change my ways.
If I thought it
Would do
Any good.
my thoughts stray
from matters at hand
to you, wondering
if you'll not go away.
you haven't
yet still
I cling to hopes
that have no foundation.
I want
I wish
I have no right
help to stop
The moonlight relfecting off his face,
Showing true colors, true self.
The moon doesn't lie
But I may not have heard right.
So much to go for, the way I wish
Then so much against, to destroy my hope.
The moon doesn't lie
So please tell me, moon, this night.
Is the one on my mind, in my soul
Does he feel the torture, the way I do, towards me?
The moon doesn't lie,
Show me with your guiding light!
Begging and pleading has not helped,
I am still in the dark.
The moon doesn't lie
Yet I can't see the light.
Yet I saw you
Looking at me
from the corner
of your eye!
What does that mean?
If you don't want me
and you don't want
relationship, why do you
do these things you do?
I try to write
but I'm wasting words
I'm wasting thoughts
I'm wasting my time on
You.
Why? My words take
up this valuable space
saying everything
I've said before
And saying it very badly.
Why thine eyes
must burn through my heart?
Why must thy face
be permanent in my mind?
Why can't you leave me alone?
I write you, I draw you, I dream of you.
I wish I could know your thoughts.
My only hope is that my feelings for you will lessen or you decide you feel the same
Forget fancy words and colorful imagery
I like him, I want him
But no matter what I wish I could not have him
Any more than I could have the sea.
And yet still he will hold me
In his arms
And be of comfort when I need it most
So why can't it be?
I know, you needn't say it.
The way I feel
He does not in any way other than friends
for me a bit.
His thick, red hair follows
Where I go.
In my mind, I cannot get out
Who he is and
What he is about.
and these are all i have of him;
nothingness words pouring out heavy emotion
from a longing heart, a feeling soul.
These empty words we put meaning to
Mean nothing to us, but
Everything to him.
And what should we get from it?
Only hoping to know, to understand
these nothingness words, these jumbled meanings
and nonsense things.
to barely grasp, then fly away out of our reach.
I am grasping, and holding, and longing, and hoping and
wanting to know
Of coppermoon and stretching fields to hold her close
and whilper in ears of swimming through metallic light
Only to lose between darkness and night to
Common passerbys straining to see beyond the road.
And yet to be touched without trying of a cough
meaning everything and nothing and someone and no one
under coppermoon- a beautiful sight!
through that nostalgic window of silver glades
between darkness and night under copperlight
for lust is there at the door leading to
The Fields of the Coppermoon.
but do I have anything at all?
a lost love- lost on him, to him.
i knew it, recognized it, lived it
lived the love for him
writing and dreaming, drawing and longing,
reading his desperate, precious words
pretending they were about me,
not her.
oh god, please let it be me.
i will treat him so much better.
i can show him the light he is longing to reach,
the one he has searched for.... for so long.
this is what I prayed-
e v e r y d a y.
yes these are all i have of him;
nothing, everything words... painful, loving memories
from my longing, feeling, so lonely heart
which enjoyed pranking tricks
to this longing, empty soul.
© 1999 tsiobo@att.net