Sooner Than Never Theme Song!
Once upon a summertime
Just a dream from yesterday
A boy and his magic golden flute
Heard a boat from off the bay
"Come and play with me, Jimmy
Come and play with me
And I will take you on a trip
Far across the sea"
But the boat belonged to a kooky old witch
Who had in mind the flute to snitch
From her Vroom Broom in the sky
She watched her plans materialize
She waved her wand
The beautiful boat was gone
The sky grew dark
The sea grew rough
The boat sailed on and on and on and on
But Pufnstuf was watching, too
And knew exactly what to do
He saw the witch's boat attack
And how the boy was fighting back
He called his Rescue Racer Crew
As often they'd rehearsed
And off to save the boy they flew
But who would get there first?
But now the boy had washed ashore
Puf arrived to save the day
Which made the witch so mad and sore
She shook her fist and screamed away
H.R. Pufnstuf, who's your friend when things get rough?
H.R. Pufnstuf, can't do a little, 'cause you can't do enough
That's right, folks, the Sooner Than Never Thanksgiving Day Parade ditty is a rip-off of the HR Pufnstuf theme, one of the scarily ubiquitous shows created by Sid and Marty Krofft, the men you can thank not only for Pufnstuf and Witchiepoo, but The Land of the Lost and The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. (An alarming aside: one of the Waylaid authors once dated the son of the man who choreographed the Brady kids in their variety show dances. What some people won't do to get lucky?!)
If you'd like to learn more about the wonderful world of Krofft, check out Living Island.
And if you'd like the complete lyrics to Simon's song, here they are. Sing 'em!
Once upon a dreary moor,
half a moon from yesteryear,
A lady in a stony tow'r
Kept the ghosts and spooks at bay:
'Begone, o spirits of the night,
Do leave and give me rest.
Tomorrow is my wedding day and I want to look my best.'
But the wedding day brought terrible strife,
And quickly took her husband's life.
The lady saw him bake and fry,
as a horrid rain poured from the sky.
The thunder crashed,
her love and dreams were smashed.
The lake grew dark
Her hopes were dim
and the ghosts wailed on and on and on and on. . .
But slowly Violet got on top
a lady who would never stop.
She fought the ghosts and ghoulies too
and knew exactly what to do.
She took her ward and went due East
and left her Pa who was a beast
But left behind in horror hall
was 15,000 tons of gold.
She dashed right back to claim her wealth
But villains moved with awful stealth.
Sooner than Never, the coffers are about to burst.
Sooner than Never, who on earth'll get to 'em first?