Confessions of a Hellmate
Hello, I'm Dead
Gnash
Stalking 101
Demonic Fan
Just For a Moment
Fill It to the Brimstone
Pillow
Trench
Violent Content
Tragic Hero
Black Lifeless Void
When I Storm Your Gates of Hell
wake up, you're dead
that's what I call the wrong side of the bed
wake up, you're dead
with nothing more to dread than a bullet in the head
hello, I'm dead
and for all I've strived, I have not been alive
hello, I'm dead
cos my daily bread is a sandwich of lead
hello, I'm dead
my last word was a pause cos I didn't have a cause
hello, I'm dead
not something I said, but the silence that bled
farewell, I'm dead
nothing makes you cry to remember me by
farewell, I'm dead
cos the monster's been fed, and you're giving him head
the phone goes ring ring ring
my message at the beep beep beep
the fat lady's gonna sing
and you're gonna weep weep weep
my hand goes knock knock knock
and you're asleep sleep sleep
but you left your door unlocked
and you're gonna weep weep weep
a fool can tell tell tell
your soul is sold sold sold
you're goin' to hell hell hell
cos you're too cold cold cold
your body screams screams screams
like slaughtered sheep sheep sheep
nobody hears it seems
and you're gonna weep weep weep
weep weep weep
gnash your teeth
gnash gnash gnash
beneath my feet
I wouldn't call so much if you wanted me to
I wouldn't write to help you sleep at night
I wouldn't drop by just to say howdy do
I wouldn't fight if you said it was alright
there's an evil in this world
I'm it...and I'm gonna get you
there's a tremor in your soul, run and hide
I'm coming for you
now there's no reason to sit there and pout
I'll give you something to cry about
cos what you don't give, I take by force
harassment is foreplay, murder the main course
you make a monster and it breaks you
you drop the bomb and it shakes you
you shake your prey and it bakes you
you're cut like grass and I rake you
there's a demon in your head
I'm it...and I'm gonna get you
you should've just said you wanted me dead
cos I'm gonna kill you
cos what you say is what you'll get
and what you said, I'll never forget
the sound of silence much louder than words
the sound of your screams is a silent blur
run bitch run bitch run bitch run
fun bitch fun bitch fun bitch fun
gun bitch gun bitch gun bitch gun
7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1--
damn you dreamers!
viva the realist!
empty your bleeding hearts
you live more when you feel less
when you're in hell
you make friends with the monsters
and the creepy crawly ghouls
in the sold-soul shop of horrors
it flies all through the air
but the blades don't leave the cage
it just breezed by to scare
and vent a little rage
just for a moment, I'd like to pretend
that I can fight this fear to the bitter end
just for a moment, I fantasize
that I can see God's love in the Devil's eyes
over the mountains
thru the trees
across the raging river
God help me please
along the valleys
beneath the starry skies
a distant promise
no more sweet lies
just for a moment, I'll see what I like
could be the only chance in my entire life
just for a moment, I'll wish on a star
I'll reach for the sky...you can't reach too far
time can't go on forever the same
time must find a space for change
time sets its pace towards eternity
time has a place for you and me
just for a moment, I'll hear thru the din
see through the fog and let hope in
everything about you makes me cry
all my memories have turned to dirt
and you never even tell me why
just keep pouring bitterness and hurt
although my cup runith over
man can't live by pain alone
so you fill my cup with fear and anger
fill it to the brimstone
all is well with just a shrug of shoulders
a pat answer for every raised concern
insults topple down on me like boulders
fear was fine, now terror takes a turn
pleased to see you live your golden rule
hate your enemies until they die
forgive not the transgressions of a fool
these are the lessons to fly by
everything I've said has been ignored
everytime I run, I hit the wall
every shot you made, you always scored
you run away and I can only crawl
although my cup runith over
man can't live by pain alone
so you fill my cup with fear and anger
fill it to the brimstone
deep in your ocean
part of me is expanding
a volcanic explosion
and my heart's fire erupting
intruding on your space
spreading all over the place
like lava in a pillow
flowing all around
with the muffled sound
of lava in a pillow
down on the ocean floor
the planting of a seed
I will come ashore
my spirit will be freed
exploding from the hill
breaking down your will
like lava in a pillow
pushing through the stream
sending off its steam
like lava in a pillow
and after a time, the flow becomes solid on the mass
and they'll climb this new creation as centuies pass
burning hot tonight
shining a bright light
like lava in a pillow
nothing all that strange
see your landscape change
like lava in a pillow
lava...pillow...
lava...pillow...
aim for the mountains, as high as you see
reach for the sky, but don't wait for me
I may be weathered, but I can still stand
we'll soon run into the promised land
we keep on moving, we can't stay still
the plates drive us on, beyond our free will
as new land comes up, to stay it will clench
but we'll not go down the deep ocean trench
sedimentary
my dear
building up on my shore
molten lava
pressure
knocking down my front door
tell me why I can't decide
who I really wanna kill--
you or me?
tell me now...tell me how...
tell me how and I will
you or me
fantasy!
it's hard for me...
mind's eye to see
blood gushing from your mouth
and what does it do
for me or to you?
what does it give to with or without?
there comes flying ash for you to choke on
boiling heat melting your skin
this dusk won't see its way to dawn
there's a heaven and a hell, and you're locked in sin
you made me your devil, but you still don't believe
bow down, little demon, it's time to leave
heaving
little spurts
gnash patch
lunging, shredding your shirt
claw and punch and knee and scrape
chew and stretch, bang and break
pounce and squeeze sweaty throat and nape
what more could I pay for this mistake?
I'm already in
decomposition
addition
to the sedimentary (my dear)
deposits buried underground
I wanna be a tragic hero
I wanna have a tragic flaw
a great man who's reduced to zero
so the audience can stare in awe
I wanna drink poison and piss pathos
catharsis pouring from every orifice
death's a sacrafise to Eros
life is just a Judas kiss
cry for me 'till your head aches
and you start to want to change your life
and when you can't, and your heart breaks
stab it with a butter knife
and this song means nothing
so I want...so I sing...
so I need...so I cling...
but what does that bring?
it doesn't matter how I feel
so I want...I can't steal
so I need...try to heal
but none of it's real
less is more
everything's nothing
fuck the world!
my thrill is your bore
only frogs can sing
fuck the world!
fuck the world!
WHEN I STORM YOUR GATES OF HELL
when I storm your gates of hell
I will wear my righteous robe
look at me and you can tell
my ancestor's name was Job
when I knock on your front door
I will look into your eyes
with all love and hate from years before
and the truth to wash away your lies
I am coming when the coast is clear
I am knocking...I am here
open your door as I open my arms
try to once more open your heart
when I storm your gates of hell
I'll hold an olive branch of peace
proclaiming that I wish you well
and simply long to feel release
when I stand on your porch step
you will have to make a choice
to plunge me into the dark depths
or lift me up to heaven to rejoice
look from the sky
look to the dirt
reigning on high
worship in hurt
who's in control?
who's on his knees?
who has your soul?
who captures and frees?
© 1998 Matt Russell.