Kids with Guns : a collection
Frost Wedging
Now!
Unless You Want
These Four Walls
In My Heart
Misguided
Welded
Window in the Night
Hand in the Dark
longing eyes
still, they gaze
at the crystal form
all through the haze
fiber branches
and shadows pierce
the misty air,
the wind is fierceall the while I wonder what to wear
but I don't care
all the while I wonder what to do
to get to youshingle moss
is crawled upon
letting go
falls to the lawn
I count the stars
that dot the sky
a trip to Mars
is aiming highall the while the water washes my hair
but I don't care
all the while I look for shades of blue
and look for youwind tears apart
closer outside
lean from the railing
ground and feet collide
run down the road
make a few turns
searching for home
a longing that burnsall the while I wish that life was fair
for that I care
all the while may give up through and through
give up on you
breathe the air, it's nice to feel
finding where your life seems real
as if to wake up from a dream
to a life that's bigger than it seemedrunning fast cos it feels good
a blast because you knew you could
changing course and changing speed
using force to fill your needand something big
is happening now
and my life, I'll live
NOW
the grass is green, the sky is blue
the air is fresh, the day is new
and voices speak from distance too
calling out, the day is newtaking part
in the desires of your own heartwindow's open to reach out
going forth without a doubt
the gentle breeze that hits my face
makes me want to win this raceand something big
is happening now
and my life, I'll live
NOWthere's beauty in the rays of light
combined with earth before the night
there's beauty in the stars above
there's beauty in the ones I loveshoe hits dirt and hand the ground
playing with a joyful sound
all grown up, but not really
living life a little sillycos something big
is happening now
and my life, I'll live
NOWthank God for this moment...
right now
it's time to love, even life
NOW!
I'll walk on my feet
I'll slide in the dirt
I'll handle the heat
I never get hurt
I'll climb up the mountain
and slide down the slide
unless you want
to give me a rideI'll swing on the swings
I'll cling to the bars
I'll wonder if things
are living on Mars
I'll stand at the railing
and pour pop o'er the side
unless you want
to give me a ridechildren pulled by strings
like puppets, dangling
but we are taken care of
these four walls have seen many things
many a moment of laughter and love
waiting in wonder for how life will go
waiting for blessings from heaven abovethese four walls have heard many things
many a madness of desperate sighs
waiting in wonder for pain to depart
watching for strength to break from the criesbut life presses on
the walls set around, see
it's another dawn
yet the walls still surround methese four walls have felt many things
many a mourning in pain and despair
waiting for wild ways intruding our space
wondering if God will always be therethese four walls have touched many things
many a marching for what we hold dear
waiting while waltzing to tunes old and new
while time passes by, our futures uncleartime presses on
the walls set in place
I move with the dawn
and leave empty space
in my mind
the faces will appear--
memories of a time
not too long ago
they travel down
to the center of feeling
so where life takes me
they'll surely followtime takes away much
it doesn't know the value of love
the friendly gaze or the gentle touch
it just moves on, like the clouds abovewith my eyes
I see God's earth
where trees and walls
will block my view
the range is small
and if I could fly
perhaps I'd search
but never find youtime can take away life
we all know we can never go back
regret and loss cut like a knife
but we must heal, and get back on trackin my life
I make my moves
some expected
and some a surprise
I travel down
the road of choices
and consequences
fearing goodbyestime takes away the soul,
faith in God, and desire to live
I need much more to be made whole
so that I can have something to givelest I be torn apart
a part of me must laugh and cry
if you stay here in my heart
your memory will never die
I am lost
in a cloud of emotion
surrounding me
from every direction
I am enveloped
it goes into me
it goes through me
there is nowhere else I want to be
I am looking for that one
particular shadow in the mist
I am trying to locate the clear
perfect face
I am feeling my way around
but asking no questions
except those I ask myself
I long for a hand
to help me, to guide me
but no one can help
with something that is not understood
or explained
at every center of light
every sparkle of a dot
I glance to see if the love is there
but it is not
and I stand alone in the cold fog
wondering, where is it now--
the object, the obsession?
is it gone forever
like this world as I know it
will soon be?
would I be better to simply vanish
myself?I love you
lost in space
found in time
there's no place
in this lifeperfect face
walls to climb
there's no place
in this lifethrough corridors on cobblestone roads
they melt away when the mountain explodes
running and screaming, but the welded tuff
catches up to those not fast enoughneed to love
love to lack
rise above
loving backlost my gloves
cold's attack
rise above
loving backout of control like a drug-induced fit
dark when the candle refused to be lit
running and screaming, but the changed direction
stirs up the silence of deadly reflectionprayed for grace
for my crimes
there's no place
in this lifeI'm erased
spared a dime
there's no place
in this life
clouds in the horizon
creatures in the light
setting of the sun
window in the nightorange in the blue
gray in the white
dreams in the true
window in the nightcrescent in the blue sky
birds in a beak fight
echo in their cry
window in the nightstanding in the yard
tree in its grand height
nests in the safeguard
window in the nightsitting on the sill
peace break in the fight
flyway in the still
window in the nightlonely in the dawn
hoping in the flight
sorrow in what's gone
window in the nightvoices in the distance
faces in twilight
shadows in the street dance
window in the nightsparkle in a dot
loving in the sight
together in the thought
window in the nightsomething in the somewhere
chances in the right
waiting in the out there
window in the night
bleakness of night
absence of light
silence is shattered by singing sky larks
while I go searching for a hand in the darkI wander around
chasing some sound
pretty soon I get lost in the park
and I reach out for a hand in the darklonely and sad
hungry and mad
a friendly voice to which I may hark
taking hold of a hand in the darktired and hurt
down in the dirt
I felt a pain that was saving and stark
then was relieved by a hand in the darkhelp me, I cry
hear me, I sigh
a creature begins to howl and bark
then I am saved by a hand in the darkbleakness of night
absence of light
a switch is pulled and I see a spark
holding hands that are not in the dark
© 1998 Matt Russell.