Storm Inside the Calm

all alone
out of luck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

I try so hard
they say I suck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

out of place
like the ugly duck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

day to day
knocked like a puck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

they steal my wings
they pull and pluck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

I had one friend
he left with Huck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

need a face lift
and tummy tuck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

someone's friendly
then feels stuck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

try to blend
but I'm just a schmuck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

life's complex
sift thru the muck
NOTHING NEW...
DON'T GIVE A FUCK!

ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD

It's getting hard to live...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
There's nothing you can give...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
There's nothing you can do...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
All old, nothing new...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You stare out into space...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You look in the wrong place...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
All alone in the world...

Somebody help me, without me asking
Somebody help me, your phone is ringing
Look all around you, hear more than my voice
Read between the lines and make the right choice

You get so tired of life...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You deal with inner strife...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You look for reasons why...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
Self pity makes you cry...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You're reaching out your hand...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You're sinking in quick sand...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
All alone in the world...

Somebody help me, without me asking
Somebody help me, the phone is ringing
Look all around you, hear more than my voice
Read between the lines and make the right choice

Pressure is too much...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
Longing for a touch...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You want to jump and scream...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
And wake up from this dream...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
It's too hard to calm down...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You always wear a frown...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
You wait till someone hears...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
Minutes seem like years...
WHEN YOU’RE ALL ALONE IN THE WORLD
All alone in the world...

Somebody help me, without me asking
Somebody help me, the bell is ringing
Look all around you, hear more than my voice
Read between the lines and make the right choice

BUS BOY (or "Fuckin' Canadains!")

I'm here for the ride--I'm not here to talk
I'm here for the ride, though I'd rather walk
I'm here because I was invited
but don't expect me to act excited

I'm here for the ride--I wish I could talk
but I sit aside--I wish I could walk
I'm here because I have to try
but don't expect me to know how to fly

I'm here for the ride--I'm listening in
I'm here for the ride--I'm not here to win
I'm here because I must play the game
but they are what they are, and I'm not the same

don't trust a smile
wait one more mile
try to pass time
make some stupid rhyme

fuck! ask me how, show me now
fuck! do it right, squeeze it tight
fuck! fuck their friends, fuck their trends

clouds! pressing upon me
clouds! nothing is for free
mind expanding
soul is dying
eyes are crying
in your dreams

speak! fucking silence kills
speak! fucking social skills
too muck feeling
silence stealing
don't want to be a part
it's too much on my heart
but if I was a part...

shit! in the back a twosie
spit! in some asshole's coffee

fuck! ask me how, show me now
fuck! do it right, squeeze it tight
fuck! fuck their friends, fuck their trends

don't trust a smile
wait one more mile
try to pass time
make some stupid rhyme

Storm's coming...

WHO AM I?

Where does the wind go?
Is it looking for something?
Is it ever content to just stay where it is?
And like my soul
Always wondering, never wandering
Afraid to take chances.

From the depths of my soul to nowhere
Love has no destination
It just goes through time and space
Waiting for an invitation

Always motions forward, but stays so long
The weight digs a hole in the ground...forever here
Gunshot is heard, always ready set
But the feet are ever bound by fear

There are other souls in the universe
And one you really love
No need for isolation
You have a power, you come first
But you won't use it to rise above
Your barren desolation

I went to the place
Of the presence
Of one worshipped more than God
I felt myself
Turn to nothing
And nothing seemed very odd...

Now I feel alone
And like I've been stripped down
And there's nothing left
But my bleeding heart
And I've never grown
And I've never found
My way into the world
Or a place for my art

What was it like to meet you?
You were good, I was bad
This was my view
How would I like to treat you?
You are smart, work with me
You like me too

I dared to dream of you
I went in, I went out
And I was you
I was scared to love you
For my life, for your soul
I closed my mind to you

I need some time to think this through
How can I ever write a song about you?
There's just no way, no song I can play
That would ever, ever show my heart

LOVING YOU DEFINES ME
LOVING YOU IS WHO I AM
I'LL FOLLOW MY HEART BLINDLY
AND LET LOVING YOU DEFINE ME

And then it gets out of hand
I buy clothes like those you wear
Afraid to look at you
My head faces the ground
And I'm lost in quick sand
And you don't see me there
Afraid to cry to you
You don't hear a sound

I always thought that you were kind
You would help, if you could
If you knew
But then I thought is that faith blind?
You're a friend, but how much
Love is in you?

I felt you wouldn't feel the same
You're a friend, nothing more
And that's okay
And to you there's no blame
You're a friend, I'm happy
Let's keep it that way

LOVING YOU DEFINES ME
LOVING YOU IS WHO I AM
I'LL FOLLOW MY HEART BLINDLY
AND LET LOVING YOU DEFINE ME

WAIT A MINUTE

Here's something about me
everything you don't want to know
I know this sharing ain’t free
some holding on before letting go

if we have one single moment
I'll give you a chance to change me somehow
if we had just one small second
would you give me a chance to touch your life now?

why shouldn't I ask this of you?
why should I lie when my need is true?
why should you cry when you have needs too?
why should I die if it's too much for you?

lead my revolution
I don't surrender to you
give me resolution
I don't care about you

invested years in you
sharing few and far between
invested hope in you
wipe my slate clean

"please do not call, you are a stranger
please do not fall, I won't pick you up
please do not write, I feel this danger
I'm scared tonight, I won't take this cup"

I'm painting pictures on my hand
of what I wish I had to give you
and I know that you can relate
your heart is full, your arms empty too

your arms are strong around me
strong as the walls of Jericho
it all crumbles down upon me
I can't say I didn't know

and when you smile, I can't see
any sparkle of joy in your gentle eyes
is it because this is all for me?
the angel hits ground when he cries
brushes off his wings to fly away
hoping I won't catch up to him someday

I looked for something from me to you
and the words eluded me
and the gift I could not see
and the chance you gave to me
wasn't what I wanted it to be

I don't know what you think I am
a punching bag, a piece of dirt
I'm much more than you give credit for
starting to heal when I first feel hurt

you can't control how I feel
or what restless thoughts occupy my mind
or how I try to make my dreams real
so you decide to turn and run blind

but I'm catching up with you
cos I see what you don't see
cos I believe in you
and I believe in me

you walk with time, my enemy
you go beyond where I can reach
I wait for you to comfort me
you give me lessons you can't teach

you can't tell my mind what to forget
you can't make my heart throw it all away
and though I ache with guilt and regret
you're inside me now, you're here to stay

and I'm catching up with you
I know what's important to me
I know my heart speaks what's true
and the truth will set me free

GOD AND CHRIS

there comes a time to listen
to what everyone else tells you
these are the times
when your greatest fears come true
sometimes people don't come around
and wounds aren't allowed to heal
you pretend you can make amends
but deep down you know it's not real

I've been chained and shackled
there's nothing I can do
but I believe in miracles
and I believe in you

God and Chris
please hear my cries
do something now
before my heart dies

sometimes business stays unfinished
sometimes silence is the only answer
sometimes you just have to give up
because you'll never get what you're after
some people, when they make up their minds
will never change it for anything
and when you try to make peace
all it brings is suffering

he built a wall around himself
he won't hear my cries for help
he's using me for a punching bag
he made sure I was bound and gagged
I want to die just to see if he cares
but listening to me is like a bad dare
he was the world's greatest friend to me
now he's a demon of apathy
why did he change and can he change back?
God and Chris, you're the compassion he lacks

God and Chris
explain this change overnight
God and Chris
you've got to make things right
God and Chris
you gotta talk to my friend
you gotta make this cruelty end
In Jesus’ name
Stop this pain.

please God fix this
praise God bless Chris

Listen...Do you hear it?

KEN

I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go
You put me in danger
I dressed you up in tight fitting clothes
All smothered in anger

I've learned the truth of honesty
It's never the best policy
Tried to make up for friendship missed
Now I know friendship doesn't exist
Didn't know reaching out would hit such a nerve
Didn't know you’re the only purpose you serve
My cry for help was like a big black silence
Deaf ears were your only defense

You're pissed off at that
You're pissed off at this
You're pissed at the stories I tell
It's so damn easy
To get you pissed
You can piss your way straight to hell

I thought you would care if I live or die
Didn't know you’re just lie after fucking lie
I thought there was respect, if not empathy
Didn't know you'd build a wall of apathy
Good ol' boy looks so good on the surface
Nothing too deep can ever trespass
Just make sure you look good on the outside
In the comfort zone to sleep and hide

I thought that you knew
I cared about you
My friendship was free...no strings
I guess I was blind
I thought you were kind
I thought so many things...many things

Didn't know I was an obligation
Or talk beyond baseball's a burden
Didn't know you'd fulfill all my worst fears
And smash my heart like a can of beer
We're all a part of the same human race
We're all equal, we all have our place
We all have rights, and that includes me
You took away my pride, stole my dignity

Say hello to Barbie
Say "Hi Miss America"
Holden Caufield's a phony
Preppie playboy hysteria

REPEAT PURGING BLAH

keep in touch
"you're too much"
you're too cruel
"go push a stool"
why did you leave me hanging?
"I just thought there would always be something"

SPITTING SYRUP WHEN YOUR MIND IS MADE UP
AIM IT AT ME, I'M YOUR PHLEGM PURGING CUP
SPEW IT UP, FEEL THE LUMPS ON MY FACE
MELTED DOWN BY YOUR ACIDIC WASTE

please come talk to me
"no, it's fine on the phone"
give me a chance
"just leave me alone"
we all make mistakes...allow me a few
"all I can offer is a triple fuck-you"

SPITTING SYRUP WHEN YOUR MIND IS MADE UP
AIM IT AT ME, I'M YOUR PHLEGM PURGING CUP
SPEW IT UP, FEEL THE LUMPS ON MY FACE
MELTED DOWN BY YOUR ACIDIC WASTE

you said you'd call
"I forgot"
you said we'd do something
"I had second thoughts"

if loving you defines me, I'm checkin' out right now
I never knew my capacity for hatred until I tried to love you
trying to be intimate with the devil incarnate

I blew it...so spew it

ASKED ABOUT YOU

Asked about you cos I did obsess
Asked about you cos my life was a mess
Asked about you and what you could do
Asked about you, would your love be true?

Asked about you and where you live
Asked about you and what you could give
Asked about you and what you would say
Asked about you on a rainy day

Asked about you cos I wanted a thrill
Asked about you, if I could break your will
Asked about you, how I could control
Asked about you, how love takes its toll

Asked about you, I'm your Christmas stalker
Asked about you, my histamine blocker
Asked about you, my H-lube darling
Asked about you, my sperm whale swimming

Look at the sky...

STORM INSIDE THE CALM

as I'm waiting here
not a word is spoken
nothing to me
nothing from me
and with mounting fear
I manage to listen
so quietly
will no one see...

people don't know me
and they don't want to
so fuck 'em
to hell with them
but that I can't be
it can never do
because I love them
I need them

and nobody sees the acid rain
eating away at my once pure heart
and too much chaos clouding my brain
tearing my small world apart
how long till I go insane?
I guess it's hard to say
with hopes and dreams down the fuckin' drain
wind blows your past and future away

fuckin' zombie
fuckin' robot
fuckin' mime
fuckin' crime
friend wannabe
friend you're not
fuckin' slime
out of time

HELP ME!
SHOW ME!
FUCK ME!
BLOW ME!

I WISH I HAD A FUTURE

body grows
soul does not
no one knows
quite why
wind it blows
with changes
time it goes
right on by

I have roots
buried deep in the dirt
tried digging them up
all I got was hurt
and the birds are flying
south for the winter
and I watch crying
I wish I had a future

can't keep up
no one drinks
from my cup
just walk on
cannot reach
don't look back
did not teach
getting ‘long

fear is the binder
that holds me in place
there's work to be done
there's music to face
each day holds a promise
of monotony for sure
I looked to the past I missed
and wished I had a future

they're so cold
don't want me
I'm too old
out of place
still alone
wanting them
never shown
my masked face

I have roots
buried deep in the dirt
tried digging them up
all I got was hurt
and the birds are flying
south for the winter
and I watch crying
I wish I had a future

WELL OF SORROW

as the winter turns to spring
as the birds begin to sing
as the sun begins to show
as i'm waiting for Godot
as they pass me on the street
as they rejoice in the heat
as they sing that Jesus saves
as they're torturing the slaves...

with all the time gone by
with all that's slipping away
with all the failed last chances
of yesterday

with little hope for the future
with little courage today
with what little control I had
that got thrown away

i'm sinking down
in my well of sorrow
i'm going down
to the land of no tomorrow
i'm laying down
so my mind can start to play
i'm laying down
so i can dream my life away

with all the diminished promise
with the lies I tell myself
with all the exciting plans
they placed permanently on the shelf

for every time they forgot
for every one flaked out
for all the lost potential
killed by endless doubt

for the "yes" to others
and the "no" to me
for all your good covers
and your "I'm sorry"

i'm sinking down
in my well of sorrow
i'm going down
to the land of no tomorrow
i'm laying down
so my mind can start to play
i'm laying down
so i can dream my life away

BLEEDING HEART

I pray for your heart--
that it keeps beating
they hope that my heart
will soon stop bleeding
they pray that I'll stop
wearing it on my sleeve
I sure hope that you know
all that I believe

you deserve to live
but you won't take what I can give
it's a little less than life anyway
if you don't feel blessed, I won't give it away

I project these feelings onto you
though you don't know...
when I’m with you, my heart hides away

when you're well
I'm not good enough
when you're sick
I'm supposed to be tough

I pray that your heart is not needing much repair
they hope that my heart will stop bleeding all over the chair
they want me to put it back inside where it belongs
they want me to run and hide and play some pop songs

you deserve to live
I deserve to love

I project these feelings onto you
though you don't know...
when I’m with you, my heart hides away

NO!

no flowers placed
on the grave of despair
no eulogy
nobody even there
it's understandable
he was not well liked
he killed five people
before taking his own life

what happened today
to drive a good boy astray?
he was a normal kid
until what he did

No, no--say it's not so
it's not my wife that just fell down to the floor
No, no--say it's not so
it's not my son whose life just came undone

pictures are down
must forget him now
the baby in her womb
the monster in the tomb
don't try to ask why
just let it all die
everyone hates him
as if he was always a demon

No, no--say it's not so
it's not my wife that just fell down to the floor
No, no--say it's not so
it's not my son whose life just came undone

your wife
my son
her life
his gun

BUS BOY (REPRISE)

don't trust a smile
wait one more mile
try to pass time
make some stupid rhyme

Contents

Back to PsychoSemantics

HOME