Bardman And Paintet (Inspired by a real request from Kefka) - Always that infuriating Bardman ruins my ingenius schemes! - Gee, that sucks boss - But not this time, my stupid flunky - ... - For you see! All I need to do is discover his secret identity - Dude, did you just insult me? - Once I know who lies beneath the mask, I will have him! - "Flunky" doesn't sound very nice... - Ah, but you wonder: How will I learn this most treasured of secrets? - Huh? - Of course your inferior brain would never be able to solve this intense mystery, but I have a way! - What are we talking about now? - Behold: - Calling All Bards! Tonight at 19:00 in the opera house a musical tournament will be held between all the musicians in the land. Be there or be a rectagonal shape with four sides equal in length and corners at ninety degree angles - I have put these notices up all over town. Bardman will definitly come to participate in the event as his alter-ego; whoever that may be! - Wait, but boss... how will you know which one is really Bardman? - Bardman is undoubtedly the greatest musician that ever was, curse him! Thus, the winner of the competition will be none other than... - than...? - Can't you guess, my mentally challanged minion? - Celine Dion? - ... - ...? - Let's just go to the tournament, my poor, stupid friend - Was I close? *At The Opera House* - I still don't think this is a good idea - Fear not, Relm! - But if this really is a trap... - You have already prepared for that possibility - But we can't be sure it will work! - I have faith in your ability - That doesn't mean much, coming from you - Nevertheless, the world should not be denied my musical talent - It doesn't look like you have much competition - Mi-mi-mi-HACK! COUGH! - Hey Garnet, back to your old clothes? - Hello strange, horned girl. I am wearing this apparal because my princessly gown is currently at the cleaners. Unfortunatly I had no recourse but to wear these articles of clothing until my proper outfit is satisfactorly washed. - Uh... right. Oh look, it's Celes - Doo-doo-doo - Hey Celes, over here! - Are you talking to me? - Duh! You know anyone else named Celes here? - But I'm not Celes, my name's Maria - Oh right, I've heard about you - Of course you have, I am the most famous of opera divas - Hello everyone, and welcome to the my musical tournament! I am Garland's saintly twin brother: Dnalrag! The D is silent! Audience - *polite applause* - So let's get right to it! Our first musician is Faris, a Bard with a harp... very intresting! - Thank ye Dnarlrag, scurvy land lubber that ye be! Listen to me favorite o' the bardic lores: Sleep Song - Go right ahead - *strums her harp* SLEEEEEP SONG! O' SLEEEEEEEEPY SONG! IT MAKES YE FALL ASLEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! - Thank you Faris! - Don't interrupt, bilge-dog! It be time for the second verse, yarr! - No no no, that was more than enough! Just step down now - Awww... the second verse be me favorite o' dem all - Next is Pricess Garnet! A perfectly lovely candidate for kidnapping, if only I was that nefarious yet handsome Garland; whom I surely am not - Thank you kind sir, your compliments are charming if rather uninspired. - Yes well, please share your music with us - La! La-la-la! La la, la la la! La-la! La-la, la la la! - Uhm... - There is nothing more rude than interrupting one who is performing musically in the middle of his or her recitation of his or her favorite piece of music. - But... shouldn't there be words to your song? - Perhaps on some distant day, I or another shall compose lyrics for this piece. However, as I know the melody itself only by a distant memory, I have not any words to fill the tender notes with. - Right. Next is another singer, Maria - Thank you, rest assured that my song has actual lyrics - Let's hear it - Oh My Hero!So Far Away Now!Will I Ever See Your Smile?But Love Goes AwayLike Night Into DayIt's Just A Fading Dream...! Prince Ralse...I Hate Him!So what?! Everyone does! - Stop! Stop! No... oh horror! - Isn't that how the song's supposed to go? That's what it said on the score Celes gave me - It looks like you were duped. I'd find it very amusing if I were that cad Garland! - Maria! - Setzer?! - At last, you are mine! *grabs Maria and swings away* - Ack! - ... That was odd. Next up is Eiko and her flute! - Let's rock this joint! *plays an arabian snake taming song* - Hiss! *eats Eiko* - Something tells me that wasn't supposed to happen - Hiss... *slithers away* - Finally, our last contestant is Prince Edward - Good luck! - Thank you, Dnalrag. I shall play for you a piece I composed myself *strums his lute Audience - *cheers* - We have a winner! Edward, go backstage to recieve your trophy! - I would be glad too *heads backstage* - Everyone else... get out of here! *follows Edward* *Back Stage* - It sure is dark back here... - All the better for an AMBUSH! - I'm sure that's true - Lich! - Yeah? - ... That was your cue for the ambush - What kind of bush is that again? - The cage! Lower the cage! - Alright... *drops a cage on Edward* - Zounds! - Weirdest bush I've ever seen... some sorta cage bush... - I've caught you at last! - Why, you aren't Dnalrag at all, are you? - That's right, my perfect masquerade had you fooled completely! But your disguise will never fool me again! For I know that you, Prince Edward Damcyan are none other than the masked minstrel himself, Bardman! - Bardman? Me? I'm afraid you're mistaken - I'll admit, none short of myself would ever have been able to learn your true identity. Your tiny eye-mask was brilliant. But I have out-witted you this time - Truely? If I am Bardman as you claim, I would simply break out of this cage and deliver you to justice - Ah, you take me for a fool. This is a specially made cage, a spell of deafening has been cast upon it. Try as you might, your bardic powers will be useless against its bars - We shall see... *strums a note on his lute* - I'm sorry Bardman, I can't hear a thing. HAH-hahaha! - Why, it seems you're right! These bars trap the very rhythem of my song without letting any escape - Finally, with you out of the way, all shall fall before me! I will take over the SPCI, the site and THE WORLD! A voice from above - Not so fast, Garland! - What? Who else dares to oppose me?! - Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! *falls down from an open window and hits the floor* - That must have hurt. Are you alright Rel- I mean... Paintet? - Ouch. I've been better - I should have known that your pesky sidekick would not be far behind you. Lich, get her! - Right boss! *reaches for Paintet* - Keep your hands to yourself! *jumps out of the way* - *dives after her* - That's it; portrait painting time! - Kary, go! - *appears from the shadows behind Paintet and grabs her wrists* - Ack! Let go! - Throw her in the cage with her pal Another voice from above - Hold thy place, fiend! - That... can't be...? Voice - Ah, but it is none other! - It's a ghost! - It's a trick! - No... - It's - BARDMAN! - Impossible! - Told ya - Heee-yuh! *leaps down and kicks Kary* - Eek! *flies into some conveniantly placed boxes* - *falls free* Alright, BM! Let's take out this trash - No, no, no... this wasn't my plan at all! - Rarr! *charges Bardman* - Paintet, if thou wouldst be so kind - Right! *paints a banana peel in front of Lich* - Oop! *slips on the banana peel and slides into some more boxes* - You may have foiled my plans this time, Bardman! But I'll be back! And now I know your real secret identity! - And who dost thou believe it to be? - If you aren't Edward, you must be Faris! The only other bard! - Surely thou jests - There's no point denying it! Next time Bardman... NEEEEEXT TIIIIME! *flees into the night* - He's getting away! - Fear not, my young ward. Harmony hath been satisfied this night. Garland shall be brought to justice another day! - Thanks to you I'm saved! Now let me out here - My apologies, but thou hast served thy purpose - Aww... - Paintet? - Right! *waves her brush and banishes the painting Edward* - But Bardman, how did you know it was a trap all along? - Elementary, my dear. All the notices posted by that nefarious villain had one telling mark - Really? - The fine print at the bottom... here, have a look thyself *produces one of the pamphlets and hands it to Paintet* - *reads* "From the desk of GARLAND! Future ruler of the world!!" - A minor point, but a fatal flaw for our foe! - Bardman, you're the greatest! - Just remember, faithful companion: A true hero always reads the fine print on the great big advertisement of life! The End
- Always that infuriating Bardman ruins my ingenius schemes!
- Gee, that sucks boss
- But not this time, my stupid flunky
- ...
- For you see! All I need to do is discover his secret identity
- Dude, did you just insult me?
- Once I know who lies beneath the mask, I will have him!
- "Flunky" doesn't sound very nice...
- Ah, but you wonder: How will I learn this most treasured of secrets?
- Huh?
- Of course your inferior brain would never be able to solve this intense mystery, but I have a way!
- What are we talking about now?
- Behold:
- Calling All Bards! Tonight at 19:00 in the opera house a musical tournament will be held between all the musicians in the land. Be there or be a rectagonal shape with four sides equal in length and corners at ninety degree angles
- I have put these notices up all over town. Bardman will definitly come to participate in the event as his alter-ego; whoever that may be!
- Wait, but boss... how will you know which one is really Bardman?
- Bardman is undoubtedly the greatest musician that ever was, curse him! Thus, the winner of the competition will be none other than...
- than...?
- Can't you guess, my mentally challanged minion?
- Celine Dion?
- ...?
- Let's just go to the tournament, my poor, stupid friend
- Was I close?
*At The Opera House*
- I still don't think this is a good idea - Fear not, Relm! - But if this really is a trap... - You have already prepared for that possibility - But we can't be sure it will work! - I have faith in your ability - That doesn't mean much, coming from you - Nevertheless, the world should not be denied my musical talent - It doesn't look like you have much competition - Mi-mi-mi-HACK! COUGH! - Hey Garnet, back to your old clothes? - Hello strange, horned girl. I am wearing this apparal because my princessly gown is currently at the cleaners. Unfortunatly I had no recourse but to wear these articles of clothing until my proper outfit is satisfactorly washed. - Uh... right. Oh look, it's Celes - Doo-doo-doo - Hey Celes, over here! - Are you talking to me? - Duh! You know anyone else named Celes here? - But I'm not Celes, my name's Maria - Oh right, I've heard about you - Of course you have, I am the most famous of opera divas - Hello everyone, and welcome to the my musical tournament! I am Garland's saintly twin brother: Dnalrag! The D is silent! Audience - *polite applause* - So let's get right to it! Our first musician is Faris, a Bard with a harp... very intresting! - Thank ye Dnarlrag, scurvy land lubber that ye be! Listen to me favorite o' the bardic lores: Sleep Song - Go right ahead - *strums her harp* SLEEEEEP SONG! O' SLEEEEEEEEPY SONG! IT MAKES YE FALL ASLEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! - Thank you Faris! - Don't interrupt, bilge-dog! It be time for the second verse, yarr! - No no no, that was more than enough! Just step down now - Awww... the second verse be me favorite o' dem all - Next is Pricess Garnet! A perfectly lovely candidate for kidnapping, if only I was that nefarious yet handsome Garland; whom I surely am not - Thank you kind sir, your compliments are charming if rather uninspired. - Yes well, please share your music with us - La! La-la-la! La la, la la la! La-la! La-la, la la la! - Uhm... - There is nothing more rude than interrupting one who is performing musically in the middle of his or her recitation of his or her favorite piece of music. - But... shouldn't there be words to your song? - Perhaps on some distant day, I or another shall compose lyrics for this piece. However, as I know the melody itself only by a distant memory, I have not any words to fill the tender notes with. - Right. Next is another singer, Maria - Thank you, rest assured that my song has actual lyrics - Let's hear it - Oh My Hero!So Far Away Now!Will I Ever See Your Smile?But Love Goes AwayLike Night Into DayIt's Just A Fading Dream...! Prince Ralse...I Hate Him!So what?! Everyone does! - Stop! Stop! No... oh horror! - Isn't that how the song's supposed to go? That's what it said on the score Celes gave me - It looks like you were duped. I'd find it very amusing if I were that cad Garland! - Maria! - Setzer?! - At last, you are mine! *grabs Maria and swings away* - Ack! - ... That was odd. Next up is Eiko and her flute! - Let's rock this joint! *plays an arabian snake taming song* - Hiss! *eats Eiko* - Something tells me that wasn't supposed to happen - Hiss... *slithers away* - Finally, our last contestant is Prince Edward - Good luck! - Thank you, Dnalrag. I shall play for you a piece I composed myself *strums his lute Audience - *cheers* - We have a winner! Edward, go backstage to recieve your trophy! - I would be glad too *heads backstage* - Everyone else... get out of here! *follows Edward* *Back Stage* - It sure is dark back here... - All the better for an AMBUSH! - I'm sure that's true - Lich! - Yeah? - ... That was your cue for the ambush - What kind of bush is that again? - The cage! Lower the cage! - Alright... *drops a cage on Edward* - Zounds! - Weirdest bush I've ever seen... some sorta cage bush... - I've caught you at last! - Why, you aren't Dnalrag at all, are you? - That's right, my perfect masquerade had you fooled completely! But your disguise will never fool me again! For I know that you, Prince Edward Damcyan are none other than the masked minstrel himself, Bardman! - Bardman? Me? I'm afraid you're mistaken - I'll admit, none short of myself would ever have been able to learn your true identity. Your tiny eye-mask was brilliant. But I have out-witted you this time - Truely? If I am Bardman as you claim, I would simply break out of this cage and deliver you to justice - Ah, you take me for a fool. This is a specially made cage, a spell of deafening has been cast upon it. Try as you might, your bardic powers will be useless against its bars - We shall see... *strums a note on his lute* - I'm sorry Bardman, I can't hear a thing. HAH-hahaha! - Why, it seems you're right! These bars trap the very rhythem of my song without letting any escape - Finally, with you out of the way, all shall fall before me! I will take over the SPCI, the site and THE WORLD! A voice from above - Not so fast, Garland! - What? Who else dares to oppose me?! - Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! *falls down from an open window and hits the floor* - That must have hurt. Are you alright Rel- I mean... Paintet? - Ouch. I've been better - I should have known that your pesky sidekick would not be far behind you. Lich, get her! - Right boss! *reaches for Paintet* - Keep your hands to yourself! *jumps out of the way* - *dives after her* - That's it; portrait painting time! - Kary, go! - *appears from the shadows behind Paintet and grabs her wrists* - Ack! Let go! - Throw her in the cage with her pal Another voice from above - Hold thy place, fiend! - That... can't be...? Voice - Ah, but it is none other! - It's a ghost! - It's a trick! - No... - It's - BARDMAN! - Impossible! - Told ya - Heee-yuh! *leaps down and kicks Kary* - Eek! *flies into some conveniantly placed boxes* - *falls free* Alright, BM! Let's take out this trash - No, no, no... this wasn't my plan at all! - Rarr! *charges Bardman* - Paintet, if thou wouldst be so kind - Right! *paints a banana peel in front of Lich* - Oop! *slips on the banana peel and slides into some more boxes* - You may have foiled my plans this time, Bardman! But I'll be back! And now I know your real secret identity! - And who dost thou believe it to be? - If you aren't Edward, you must be Faris! The only other bard! - Surely thou jests - There's no point denying it! Next time Bardman... NEEEEEXT TIIIIME! *flees into the night* - He's getting away! - Fear not, my young ward. Harmony hath been satisfied this night. Garland shall be brought to justice another day! - Thanks to you I'm saved! Now let me out here - My apologies, but thou hast served thy purpose - Aww... - Paintet? - Right! *waves her brush and banishes the painting Edward* - But Bardman, how did you know it was a trap all along? - Elementary, my dear. All the notices posted by that nefarious villain had one telling mark - Really? - The fine print at the bottom... here, have a look thyself *produces one of the pamphlets and hands it to Paintet* - *reads* "From the desk of GARLAND! Future ruler of the world!!" - A minor point, but a fatal flaw for our foe! - Bardman, you're the greatest! - Just remember, faithful companion: A true hero always reads the fine print on the great big advertisement of life! The End
- I still don't think this is a good idea
- Fear not, Relm!
- But if this really is a trap...
- You have already prepared for that possibility
- But we can't be sure it will work!
- I have faith in your ability
- That doesn't mean much, coming from you
- Nevertheless, the world should not be denied my musical talent
- It doesn't look like you have much competition
- Mi-mi-mi-HACK! COUGH!
- Hey Garnet, back to your old clothes?
- Hello strange, horned girl. I am wearing this apparal because my princessly gown is currently at the cleaners. Unfortunatly I had no recourse but to wear these articles of clothing until my proper outfit is satisfactorly washed.
- Uh... right. Oh look, it's Celes
- Doo-doo-doo
- Hey Celes, over here!
- Are you talking to me?
- Duh! You know anyone else named Celes here?
- But I'm not Celes, my name's Maria
- Oh right, I've heard about you
- Of course you have, I am the most famous of opera divas
- Hello everyone, and welcome to the my musical tournament! I am Garland's saintly twin brother: Dnalrag! The D is silent!
Audience - *polite applause*
- So let's get right to it! Our first musician is Faris, a Bard with a harp... very intresting!
- Thank ye Dnarlrag, scurvy land lubber that ye be! Listen to me favorite o' the bardic lores: Sleep Song
- Go right ahead
- *strums her harp* SLEEEEEP SONG! O' SLEEEEEEEEPY SONG! IT MAKES YE FALL ASLEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!
- Thank you Faris!
- Don't interrupt, bilge-dog! It be time for the second verse, yarr!
- No no no, that was more than enough! Just step down now
- Awww... the second verse be me favorite o' dem all
- Next is Pricess Garnet! A perfectly lovely candidate for kidnapping, if only I was that nefarious yet handsome Garland; whom I surely am not
- Thank you kind sir, your compliments are charming if rather uninspired.
- Yes well, please share your music with us
- La! La-la-la! La la, la la la! La-la! La-la, la la la!
- Uhm...
- There is nothing more rude than interrupting one who is performing musically in the middle of his or her recitation of his or her favorite piece of music.
- But... shouldn't there be words to your song?
- Perhaps on some distant day, I or another shall compose lyrics for this piece. However, as I know the melody itself only by a distant memory, I have not any words to fill the tender notes with.
- Right. Next is another singer, Maria
- Thank you, rest assured that my song has actual lyrics
- Let's hear it
-
Prince Ralse...I Hate Him!So what?! Everyone does!
- Stop! Stop! No... oh horror!
- Isn't that how the song's supposed to go? That's what it said on the score Celes gave me
- It looks like you were duped. I'd find it very amusing if I were that cad Garland!
- Maria!
- Setzer?!
- At last, you are mine! *grabs Maria and swings away*
- Ack!
- ... That was odd. Next up is Eiko and her flute!
- Let's rock this joint! *plays an arabian snake taming song*
- Hiss! *eats Eiko*
- Something tells me that wasn't supposed to happen
- Hiss... *slithers away*
- Finally, our last contestant is Prince Edward
- Good luck!
- Thank you, Dnalrag. I shall play for you a piece I composed myself *strums his lute Audience - *cheers* - We have a winner! Edward, go backstage to recieve your trophy! - I would be glad too *heads backstage* - Everyone else... get out of here! *follows Edward* *Back Stage* - It sure is dark back here... - All the better for an AMBUSH! - I'm sure that's true - Lich! - Yeah? - ... That was your cue for the ambush - What kind of bush is that again? - The cage! Lower the cage! - Alright... *drops a cage on Edward* - Zounds! - Weirdest bush I've ever seen... some sorta cage bush... - I've caught you at last! - Why, you aren't Dnalrag at all, are you? - That's right, my perfect masquerade had you fooled completely! But your disguise will never fool me again! For I know that you, Prince Edward Damcyan are none other than the masked minstrel himself, Bardman! - Bardman? Me? I'm afraid you're mistaken - I'll admit, none short of myself would ever have been able to learn your true identity. Your tiny eye-mask was brilliant. But I have out-witted you this time - Truely? If I am Bardman as you claim, I would simply break out of this cage and deliver you to justice - Ah, you take me for a fool. This is a specially made cage, a spell of deafening has been cast upon it. Try as you might, your bardic powers will be useless against its bars - We shall see... *strums a note on his lute* - I'm sorry Bardman, I can't hear a thing. HAH-hahaha! - Why, it seems you're right! These bars trap the very rhythem of my song without letting any escape - Finally, with you out of the way, all shall fall before me! I will take over the SPCI, the site and THE WORLD! A voice from above - Not so fast, Garland! - What? Who else dares to oppose me?! - Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! *falls down from an open window and hits the floor* - That must have hurt. Are you alright Rel- I mean... Paintet? - Ouch. I've been better - I should have known that your pesky sidekick would not be far behind you. Lich, get her! - Right boss! *reaches for Paintet* - Keep your hands to yourself! *jumps out of the way* - *dives after her* - That's it; portrait painting time! - Kary, go! - *appears from the shadows behind Paintet and grabs her wrists* - Ack! Let go! - Throw her in the cage with her pal Another voice from above - Hold thy place, fiend! - That... can't be...? Voice - Ah, but it is none other! - It's a ghost! - It's a trick! - No... - It's - BARDMAN! - Impossible! - Told ya - Heee-yuh! *leaps down and kicks Kary* - Eek! *flies into some conveniantly placed boxes* - *falls free* Alright, BM! Let's take out this trash - No, no, no... this wasn't my plan at all! - Rarr! *charges Bardman* - Paintet, if thou wouldst be so kind - Right! *paints a banana peel in front of Lich* - Oop! *slips on the banana peel and slides into some more boxes* - You may have foiled my plans this time, Bardman! But I'll be back! And now I know your real secret identity! - And who dost thou believe it to be? - If you aren't Edward, you must be Faris! The only other bard! - Surely thou jests - There's no point denying it! Next time Bardman... NEEEEEXT TIIIIME! *flees into the night* - He's getting away! - Fear not, my young ward. Harmony hath been satisfied this night. Garland shall be brought to justice another day! - Thanks to you I'm saved! Now let me out here - My apologies, but thou hast served thy purpose - Aww... - Paintet? - Right! *waves her brush and banishes the painting Edward* - But Bardman, how did you know it was a trap all along? - Elementary, my dear. All the notices posted by that nefarious villain had one telling mark - Really? - The fine print at the bottom... here, have a look thyself *produces one of the pamphlets and hands it to Paintet* - *reads* "From the desk of GARLAND! Future ruler of the world!!" - A minor point, but a fatal flaw for our foe! - Bardman, you're the greatest! - Just remember, faithful companion: A true hero always reads the fine print on the great big advertisement of life! The End
Audience - *cheers*
- We have a winner! Edward, go backstage to recieve your trophy!
- I would be glad too *heads backstage*
- Everyone else... get out of here! *follows Edward*
*Back Stage*
- It sure is dark back here... - All the better for an AMBUSH! - I'm sure that's true - Lich! - Yeah? - ... That was your cue for the ambush - What kind of bush is that again? - The cage! Lower the cage! - Alright... *drops a cage on Edward* - Zounds! - Weirdest bush I've ever seen... some sorta cage bush... - I've caught you at last! - Why, you aren't Dnalrag at all, are you? - That's right, my perfect masquerade had you fooled completely! But your disguise will never fool me again! For I know that you, Prince Edward Damcyan are none other than the masked minstrel himself, Bardman! - Bardman? Me? I'm afraid you're mistaken - I'll admit, none short of myself would ever have been able to learn your true identity. Your tiny eye-mask was brilliant. But I have out-witted you this time - Truely? If I am Bardman as you claim, I would simply break out of this cage and deliver you to justice - Ah, you take me for a fool. This is a specially made cage, a spell of deafening has been cast upon it. Try as you might, your bardic powers will be useless against its bars - We shall see... *strums a note on his lute* - I'm sorry Bardman, I can't hear a thing. HAH-hahaha! - Why, it seems you're right! These bars trap the very rhythem of my song without letting any escape - Finally, with you out of the way, all shall fall before me! I will take over the SPCI, the site and THE WORLD! A voice from above - Not so fast, Garland! - What? Who else dares to oppose me?! - Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! *falls down from an open window and hits the floor* - That must have hurt. Are you alright Rel- I mean... Paintet? - Ouch. I've been better - I should have known that your pesky sidekick would not be far behind you. Lich, get her! - Right boss! *reaches for Paintet* - Keep your hands to yourself! *jumps out of the way* - *dives after her* - That's it; portrait painting time! - Kary, go! - *appears from the shadows behind Paintet and grabs her wrists* - Ack! Let go! - Throw her in the cage with her pal Another voice from above - Hold thy place, fiend! - That... can't be...? Voice - Ah, but it is none other! - It's a ghost! - It's a trick! - No... - It's - BARDMAN! - Impossible! - Told ya - Heee-yuh! *leaps down and kicks Kary* - Eek! *flies into some conveniantly placed boxes* - *falls free* Alright, BM! Let's take out this trash - No, no, no... this wasn't my plan at all! - Rarr! *charges Bardman* - Paintet, if thou wouldst be so kind - Right! *paints a banana peel in front of Lich* - Oop! *slips on the banana peel and slides into some more boxes* - You may have foiled my plans this time, Bardman! But I'll be back! And now I know your real secret identity! - And who dost thou believe it to be? - If you aren't Edward, you must be Faris! The only other bard! - Surely thou jests - There's no point denying it! Next time Bardman... NEEEEEXT TIIIIME! *flees into the night* - He's getting away! - Fear not, my young ward. Harmony hath been satisfied this night. Garland shall be brought to justice another day! - Thanks to you I'm saved! Now let me out here - My apologies, but thou hast served thy purpose - Aww... - Paintet? - Right! *waves her brush and banishes the painting Edward* - But Bardman, how did you know it was a trap all along? - Elementary, my dear. All the notices posted by that nefarious villain had one telling mark - Really? - The fine print at the bottom... here, have a look thyself *produces one of the pamphlets and hands it to Paintet* - *reads* "From the desk of GARLAND! Future ruler of the world!!" - A minor point, but a fatal flaw for our foe! - Bardman, you're the greatest! - Just remember, faithful companion: A true hero always reads the fine print on the great big advertisement of life! The End
- It sure is dark back here...
- All the better for an AMBUSH!
- I'm sure that's true
- Lich!
- Yeah?
- ... That was your cue for the ambush
- What kind of bush is that again?
- The cage! Lower the cage!
- Alright... *drops a cage on Edward*
- Zounds!
- Weirdest bush I've ever seen... some sorta cage bush...
- I've caught you at last!
- Why, you aren't Dnalrag at all, are you?
- That's right, my perfect masquerade had you fooled completely! But your disguise will never fool me again! For I know that you, Prince Edward Damcyan are none other than the masked minstrel himself, Bardman!
- Bardman? Me? I'm afraid you're mistaken
- I'll admit, none short of myself would ever have been able to learn your true identity. Your tiny eye-mask was brilliant. But I have out-witted you this time
- Truely? If I am Bardman as you claim, I would simply break out of this cage and deliver you to justice
- Ah, you take me for a fool. This is a specially made cage, a spell of deafening has been cast upon it. Try as you might, your bardic powers will be useless against its bars
- We shall see... *strums a note on his lute*
- I'm sorry Bardman, I can't hear a thing. HAH-hahaha!
- Why, it seems you're right! These bars trap the very rhythem of my song without letting any escape
- Finally, with you out of the way, all shall fall before me! I will take over the SPCI, the site and THE WORLD!
A voice from above - Not so fast, Garland!
- What? Who else dares to oppose me?!
- Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! *falls down from an open window and hits the floor*
- That must have hurt. Are you alright Rel- I mean... Paintet?
- Ouch. I've been better
- I should have known that your pesky sidekick would not be far behind you. Lich, get her!
- Right boss! *reaches for Paintet*
- Keep your hands to yourself! *jumps out of the way*
- *dives after her*
- That's it; portrait painting time!
- Kary, go!
- *appears from the shadows behind Paintet and grabs her wrists*
- Ack! Let go!
- Throw her in the cage with her pal
Another voice from above - Hold thy place, fiend!
- That... can't be...?
Voice - Ah, but it is none other!
- It's a ghost!
- It's a trick!
- No...
- It's
- BARDMAN!
- Impossible!
- Told ya
- Heee-yuh! *leaps down and kicks Kary*
- Eek! *flies into some conveniantly placed boxes*
- *falls free* Alright, BM! Let's take out this trash
- No, no, no... this wasn't my plan at all!
- Rarr! *charges Bardman*
- Paintet, if thou wouldst be so kind
- Right! *paints a banana peel in front of Lich*
- Oop! *slips on the banana peel and slides into some more boxes*
- You may have foiled my plans this time, Bardman! But I'll be back! And now I know your real secret identity!
- And who dost thou believe it to be?
- If you aren't Edward, you must be Faris! The only other bard!
- Surely thou jests
- There's no point denying it! Next time Bardman... NEEEEEXT TIIIIME! *flees into the night*
- He's getting away!
- Fear not, my young ward. Harmony hath been satisfied this night. Garland shall be brought to justice another day!
- Thanks to you I'm saved! Now let me out here
- My apologies, but thou hast served thy purpose
- Aww...
- Paintet?
- Right! *waves her brush and banishes the painting Edward*
- But Bardman, how did you know it was a trap all along?
- Elementary, my dear. All the notices posted by that nefarious villain had one telling mark
- Really?
- The fine print at the bottom... here, have a look thyself *produces one of the pamphlets and hands it to Paintet*
- *reads* "From the desk of GARLAND! Future ruler of the world!!"
- A minor point, but a fatal flaw for our foe!
- Bardman, you're the greatest!
- Just remember, faithful companion: A true hero always reads the fine print on the great big advertisement of life!
