The Fourth Annual Beauty Pageant Part Seven - Welcome back to the fourth, bordering on fifth, Annual blah blah Pageant - *glare* - Hey, it's hard to keep upbeat when you've been sitting in an announcer's chair for ten months, ok? - POINT - We're now moving on to Final Fantasy Nine, hopefully the final section of contestants - ... FF8? - Sorry, no one likes Squall - JERK! - Pretty much. Nimufu, over to you - Thanks Edge. And thanks to the audience for sticking around with me for so long! Audience - Zzzzzz... - *cough* Anyway! Let's move on to our final contestants. First up is Zidane Tribal - Hi everyone! - Zidane is the main character in Final Fantasy 9 - And way better than the one from the previous game - You aren't nearly as pretty - So what? - So you aren't really better - I've got an upbeat attitude and I don't treat my friends like crap - Who cares? Squall's dreamy. What do you play FF's for...? The story? Gameplay? Bah! - Get back to the pageant already - Uh? Oh right! So Zidane's an overly cheerful monkey boy who ends up saving the world. Or something like that - I'm not a 'monkey boy' - You've got a tail, don't ya? - Well, ye- - Then you're a monkey boy - My job class is Thief - That's TREASURE HUNTER! - Whatever you want, man - Ok, show off your tail or something and get out of here - If I get really tense about a situation I go into trance mode. It turns me pink - Get to it - Eeeerrrruuuuuaaaaaagh!! - What was that? - I'm, uh, powering up. It'll take a couple episodes - We don't have time for that, I'm already verging on a year long pageant here, I think half the audience died of old age - I'm still young! - Sorry, I don't have anything to get excited over right now - Schala, get over here - Yes? - Hmm, she is kinda cute, but I don't know - That's not why I called her over - ... - And what about me? I'm way more gorgeous than her - ... - Hey, I never said you weren't. I'm sure there's some guy out there that'll appreciate you - I could have any man I wanted - ... Why am I here? - Whatever you say, witchy - Grr! *blasts Zidane through a wall* - Uh? - Oh, right, Schala - What did you want? - Can you turn this monkey boy pink? - The one you just remodled the left wing with? - Yes, him... nevermind - *sigh* - Moving on! Next we have Stiener - Good day madam - Gogo?! - Adelbert Stiener at your service! - I told you, one appearance per character - But I am a different character now, verily - Glory hog. You don't even look like Stiener - Nevertheless, I am he that you sought. Just ask my friend master Vivi - Hi. I'm Vivi, this is my pal Stiener - ... Sure it is - Hold! - Uh oh - Stiener...? - What the? - I'm seein' double, four- - Hey, stealing Simpsons jokes is our turf now, buddy - What? - Man, I'll stab you so hard you're gonna feel it last Tuesday - *click* - I mean... Hi! I'm a black mage! - What did you do? - I found the problem, someone set that black mage to 'evil' - Stop ignoring me! - Right, back to Stiener - It's about time - Ahem - Don't give me that, at least I brought along a Vivi. Right Vivi? - Tiptoe, through the tulips! Tra lala! - ... Vivi? - Yes? - Gah! *jumps back* - Master Vivi, shall we teach this cad a lesson? - *fixes his hat* Uh, o-ok! - This should be good - Let's not be hasty, gentlemen - Ready? - Right! Flare! *casts Flare on Stiener's sword* - Yee-ah! *strikes Gogo with the flare sword* - Gurgh... *dies* - Now then, Miss Nimufu... if you please? - Thank's for getting rid of Gogo, what a pain - I did what needed to be done, with help from my good friend Master Vivi here - That's me- woah! *trips* - Shall I have my part now? - Hey, no offense, but it turns out you're pretty ugly - What?? - This is a beauty pageant, babe, and you just don't have what it takes - Insolence! - To show my appreciation for what you did, I'm gonna give you five seconds to get out before I throw you out - How dare you...? - 5 - I say... - 4 - Ah well... bye! *runs off, clanking all the way* - Who's next? - *gets to his feet and fixes his hat again* What about me? - I think you're a little young for this sort of thing - In black mage years I'm 35 - Take off that black cloth thing, let's see your face - This is my face - *binks* - *dusts off his pants* - Ok! We're done with you. Next!? - Aww *walks towards the edge of the stage, trips and falls off* - Is there anyone else from Final Fantasy Nine? - Never fear, Kuja is here! - Kuja?! Who's guarding the Dar- ... the you-know-what? - What, the Dark Crystal? - *slaps his forehead* Yes, that - Relax, I got someone to look after it for me Blight HQ Vault - *hummmmmmmmmmmm* - Kino watch over shiny stone! - *HUMMMMMMMMMMMM!* - ...? Shiny stone do something? - *BLAM!* - AIEEEEE!!! Back at the Pageant - In any event, I simply could not allow for this pageant to be deprived of my amazing beauty - I'll say. Kuja, honey, tell us about yourself - How about if I stand here and pose instead? - Even better! - *poses* - *admires* - *poses* - *admires* - *poses* - *admires* - This could go on for a while - YES - So let's take a break. When we come back, the judging will commence. Who will be crowned this year's- - LAST YEAR'S - ... Who will be crowned last year's beauty queen? - KING - Right, this last year's beauty king - ANTICIPATION - (Queen might fit better for some of these 'guys' though) - *poses* - *admires*
The Fourth Annual Beauty Pageant Part Seven
- Welcome back to the fourth, bordering on fifth, Annual blah blah Pageant
- *glare*
- Hey, it's hard to keep upbeat when you've been sitting in an announcer's chair for ten months, ok?
- POINT
- We're now moving on to Final Fantasy Nine, hopefully the final section of contestants
- ... FF8?
- Sorry, no one likes Squall
- JERK!
- Pretty much. Nimufu, over to you
- Thanks Edge. And thanks to the audience for sticking around with me for so long!
Audience - Zzzzzz...
- *cough* Anyway! Let's move on to our final contestants. First up is Zidane Tribal
- Hi everyone!
- Zidane is the main character in Final Fantasy 9
- And way better than the one from the previous game
- You aren't nearly as pretty
- So what?
- So you aren't really better
- I've got an upbeat attitude and I don't treat my friends like crap
- Who cares? Squall's dreamy. What do you play FF's for...? The story? Gameplay? Bah!
- Get back to the pageant already
- Uh? Oh right! So Zidane's an overly cheerful monkey boy who ends up saving the world. Or something like that
- I'm not a 'monkey boy'
- You've got a tail, don't ya?
- Well, ye-
- Then you're a monkey boy
- My job class is Thief
- That's TREASURE HUNTER!
- Whatever you want, man
- Ok, show off your tail or something and get out of here
- If I get really tense about a situation I go into trance mode. It turns me pink
- Get to it
- Eeeerrrruuuuuaaaaaagh!!
- What was that?
- I'm, uh, powering up. It'll take a couple episodes
- We don't have time for that, I'm already verging on a year long pageant here, I think half the audience died of old age
- I'm still young!
- Sorry, I don't have anything to get excited over right now
- Schala, get over here
- Yes?
- Hmm, she is kinda cute, but I don't know
- That's not why I called her over
- ...
- And what about me? I'm way more gorgeous than her
- Hey, I never said you weren't. I'm sure there's some guy out there that'll appreciate you
- I could have any man I wanted
- ... Why am I here?
- Whatever you say, witchy
- Grr! *blasts Zidane through a wall*
- Uh?
- Oh, right, Schala
- What did you want?
- Can you turn this monkey boy pink?
- The one you just remodled the left wing with?
- Yes, him... nevermind
- *sigh*
- Moving on! Next we have Stiener
- Good day madam
- Gogo?!
- Adelbert Stiener at your service!
- I told you, one appearance per character
- But I am a different character now, verily
- Glory hog. You don't even look like Stiener
- Nevertheless, I am he that you sought. Just ask my friend master Vivi
- Hi. I'm Vivi, this is my pal Stiener
- ... Sure it is
- Hold!
- Uh oh
- Stiener...?
- What the?
- I'm seein' double, four-
- Hey, stealing Simpsons jokes is our turf now, buddy
- What?
- Man, I'll stab you so hard you're gonna feel it last Tuesday
- *click*
- I mean... Hi! I'm a black mage!
- What did you do?
- I found the problem, someone set that black mage to 'evil'
- Stop ignoring me!
- Right, back to Stiener
- It's about time
- Ahem
- Don't give me that, at least I brought along a Vivi. Right Vivi?
- Tiptoe, through the tulips! Tra lala!
- ... Vivi?
- Gah! *jumps back*
- Master Vivi, shall we teach this cad a lesson?
- *fixes his hat* Uh, o-ok!
- This should be good
- Let's not be hasty, gentlemen
- Ready?
- Right! Flare! *casts Flare on Stiener's sword*
- Yee-ah! *strikes Gogo with the flare sword*
- Gurgh... *dies*
- Now then, Miss Nimufu... if you please?
- Thank's for getting rid of Gogo, what a pain
- I did what needed to be done, with help from my good friend Master Vivi here
- That's me- woah! *trips*
- Shall I have my part now?
- Hey, no offense, but it turns out you're pretty ugly
- What??
- This is a beauty pageant, babe, and you just don't have what it takes
- Insolence!
- To show my appreciation for what you did, I'm gonna give you five seconds to get out before I throw you out
- How dare you...?
- 5
- I say...
- 4
- Ah well... bye! *runs off, clanking all the way*
- Who's next?
- *gets to his feet and fixes his hat again* What about me?
- I think you're a little young for this sort of thing
- In black mage years I'm 35
- Take off that black cloth thing, let's see your face
- This is my face
- *binks*
- *dusts off his pants*
- Ok! We're done with you. Next!?
- Aww *walks towards the edge of the stage, trips and falls off*
- Is there anyone else from Final Fantasy Nine?
- Never fear, Kuja is here!
- Kuja?! Who's guarding the Dar- ... the you-know-what?
- What, the Dark Crystal?
- *slaps his forehead* Yes, that
- Relax, I got someone to look after it for me
Blight HQ Vault
- *hummmmmmmmmmmm*
- Kino watch over shiny stone!
- *HUMMMMMMMMMMMM!*
- ...? Shiny stone do something?
- *BLAM!*
- AIEEEEE!!!
Back at the Pageant
- In any event, I simply could not allow for this pageant to be deprived of my amazing beauty
- I'll say. Kuja, honey, tell us about yourself
- How about if I stand here and pose instead?
- Even better!
- *poses*
- *admires*
- This could go on for a while
- YES
- So let's take a break. When we come back, the judging will commence. Who will be crowned this year's-
- LAST YEAR'S
- ... Who will be crowned last year's beauty queen?
- KING
- Right, this last year's beauty king
- ANTICIPATION
- (Queen might fit better for some of these 'guys' though)
