The Fourth Annual Beauty Pageant Part Five Commercial Break - Wasting your life? Just sitting around, gathering dust? Are you lazy? Are you a bum? Is that the life you want? - Yes! - No! Knight School has been revolutionized into the new and almighty SPCI Armed Forces - ... so what? - So enroll now or we'll come to your house and beat you up - It's true, you know - The SPCI Armed Forces: it's not just about sweat shops anymore! End Commercials - Wow, that seemed like the longest commercial break yet! - Yeah, it felt like it lasted two months or something... - ZZZ! - Let's step things up, time for the guys of Chrono Trigger - ... - First up is our main hero: Crono! - ....! - (Finally, someone who understands what's expected of him) - ?? - Crono's your typical teenage kid who destiny chooses to save the world - Destiny's always doing something typical like that - All that static electricity which spikes his hair has given him the magical power of lightning - .. - Despite that, I wouldn't say he's very bright myself - . - No offense, babe, we can't all be beautiful and brilliant. Not like King Luca Blight! Audience - Alright, you love Luca Blight. We get it already! - *ahem* Well, Crono, do you have something special to show us? - ... - And a very nice sword it is too. Though not as impressive as your Rainbow Sword - .. - How come you're always using that yellow one? - ......... - What? Answer me! - ....! ...... *gestures* - I don't speak mute, ok? Here, have an echo screen - Hey, I can talk! Wow, this is amazing! I can finally tell everyone all those things I've wanted to say. Where's Marle? And Lucca? And Ayla? Wow, finally being able to talk, this is incredible! I haven't felt like this since that silly slide show ending! I mean, sometimes I manage a "yes" or "no" but that's really only head motions and now the incredible gift of speach is given to me and I just can't stop talking! Thanks Nimufu you don't know how much this means to me and if there's anything I can ever do for you just say the word I don't care what it is I'll do my best this is the greatest day of my life I'm just bubbling over with things to say after so many years of being confined to dots it's almost indescribable so I'd better keep trying to describe it until I can get it right and- - MUTE! - ...!? - Much better. Alright, see ya! - ... *frowns and leaves* - Easy come, easy go; I guess - ZZZ! - Wake up already! Even your one word responses are better than your snoring - ZZZ... WHAT? - (But only slightly) - Next up is Magus! Or Janus! Or something! - ... - Oh great, not another mime! - Like me? - Get out of here, Gogo! I meant like Crono - What? No! I'm just being moody and mysterious - Oh good. Magus comes from the kingdom of Zeal, so he was trained in the magical arts from an early age - That's right, I can use magic from all four spectrums - And do some crazy barrier changes - But only when I'm evil! - Doesn't that ever bother you? - Of course it does, those barrier changes rocked - So what do you do? - I just kick a puppy or steal something, any minor act of cruelty allows me to manifest my true power - Wow, live and learn - Yes but I have to be careful I don't- - Fiend! So thou art the culprit who hath kicked mine dog! - Maybe I did, I have no regrets - Ew, it's frogman again! ... You have a dog? - Er... more of a giant frog, nevertheless, enguard! - Careful! If I write some grafiti on the stage I'll be able to give you an even worse shape than the one you have now - Leave my precious pink stage alone, mister! - Thou dost presume I shalt give thee time! Psyche Split! *strikes Magus* - Ugh! ... what was that? - Tis a new art of swordsmanry - Well you proved the stronger, blah blah blah, get your true form returned, yadda yadda, here's an amulet! *vanishes* - *levels up* - Would you get out of here?! - 'till we meet again, witch *hops away* - Hey, there'd better not be a next time! - Well so much for Magus, I don't think you're allowed to win the pageant if you're dead - Well actually the death of a participant in such pageants is not unknown. Additionally, in this place where being killed is more of an inconveniance than a true end it's entirely possible to die and still be back in time for the coronation ceremony. Especially when you consider how much time tends to intercede between each part of this procession. - Holy crap! You can talk!? - Our last contestant from the Chrono series isn't actually in Chrono Trigger but its sequal: Chrono Cross. Here's Serge! - ... - Just like Crono, Serge is entirely silent - ... - But this is actually just a cardboard cut-out of Serge, I don't know where the real guy is - ... - Still, he's kinda cute - ... - In a polygonal sorta way, right? - ... - Oh whatever *pushes 'Serge' off the stage* - ... *lands face down on the floor* - Now that was a wooden performance if I ever saw one - ... *slaps Edge* - Ow! It had to be said - And that wraps it up for the guys of the Chrono series. Everyone else was icky or a robot... or unavailable - Hold! Might I hath an opportunity now? - Woah, yummy. Come on up here cutie-pie! - I thank thee for thy kindness *gets onto the stage* - I don't remember seeing you at the auditions, are you from Chrono Trigger? - That I be, though I was present at the auditions I was not at my best - Don't worry about that, I'll have a talk with Valvalis later - Hey! But Nimufu that's...! - Quiet! You're in already in enough trouble - Grr... - So tell us about yourself, you handsome stud - Mine name is Glenn! I am heir to the legacy of Cyrus, the hero medal hath chosen me and the new dream blade Doreen is mine by right as well! - W-wait a minute! Don't tell me...?! - Doth something trouble thee? - You're... that frog?! - *gribbit* - I don't believe this! - Heehee, that's what you get for ignoring me... - Glenn you're a honey. What'd you do, find a princess to kiss you? - Twas the amulet Magus left, with it I was able to break his curse upon me - Wow, you turned out way better than Jean did! - Who? - Sacre Blu! Who is this cad? - Great... how many times have I told you to stop stalking me, Jean? - But mon amour our love knows no end! - I've got a restraining order right here which says otherwise - I'll just let thee sort out this lover's quarrl - Wait, no! Don't leave me with this overgrown oaf! - Have you no honor, scoundral? I shall, how you say "defend" mon chere - Haha, good luck to thee, Nimufu! *exits* - *fumes* Great... Jean you're not even from the proper game developer, let alone series, to be showing up here! - My heart could not be kept from you, my little buttercup - That's it, time to die! - I think it's going to get a little ugly in a moment, let's cut to commercials - YES!
The Fourth Annual Beauty Pageant Part Five
Commercial Break
- Wasting your life? Just sitting around, gathering dust? Are you lazy? Are you a bum? Is that the life you want?
- Yes!
- No! Knight School has been revolutionized into the new and almighty SPCI Armed Forces
- ... so what?
- So enroll now or we'll come to your house and beat you up
- It's true, you know
- The SPCI Armed Forces: it's not just about sweat shops anymore!
End Commercials
- Wow, that seemed like the longest commercial break yet!
- Yeah, it felt like it lasted two months or something...
- ZZZ!
- Let's step things up, time for the guys of Chrono Trigger
- ...
- First up is our main hero: Crono!
- ....!
- (Finally, someone who understands what's expected of him)
- ??
- Crono's your typical teenage kid who destiny chooses to save the world
- Destiny's always doing something typical like that
- All that static electricity which spikes his hair has given him the magical power of lightning
- ..
- Despite that, I wouldn't say he's very bright myself
- .
- No offense, babe, we can't all be beautiful and brilliant. Not like King Luca Blight!
Audience - Alright, you love Luca Blight. We get it already!
- *ahem* Well, Crono, do you have something special to show us?
- And a very nice sword it is too. Though not as impressive as your Rainbow Sword
- How come you're always using that yellow one?
- .........
- What? Answer me!
- ....! ...... *gestures*
- I don't speak mute, ok? Here, have an echo screen
- Hey, I can talk! Wow, this is amazing! I can finally tell everyone all those things I've wanted to say. Where's Marle? And Lucca? And Ayla? Wow, finally being able to talk, this is incredible! I haven't felt like this since that silly slide show ending! I mean, sometimes I manage a "yes" or "no" but that's really only head motions and now the incredible gift of speach is given to me and I just can't stop talking! Thanks Nimufu you don't know how much this means to me and if there's anything I can ever do for you just say the word I don't care what it is I'll do my best this is the greatest day of my life I'm just bubbling over with things to say after so many years of being confined to dots it's almost indescribable so I'd better keep trying to describe it until I can get it right and-
- MUTE!
- ...!?
- Much better. Alright, see ya!
- ... *frowns and leaves*
- Easy come, easy go; I guess
- Wake up already! Even your one word responses are better than your snoring
- ZZZ... WHAT?
- (But only slightly)
- Next up is Magus! Or Janus! Or something!
- Oh great, not another mime!
- Like me?
- Get out of here, Gogo! I meant like Crono
- What? No! I'm just being moody and mysterious
- Oh good. Magus comes from the kingdom of Zeal, so he was trained in the magical arts from an early age
- That's right, I can use magic from all four spectrums
- And do some crazy barrier changes
- But only when I'm evil!
- Doesn't that ever bother you?
- Of course it does, those barrier changes rocked
- So what do you do?
- I just kick a puppy or steal something, any minor act of cruelty allows me to manifest my true power
- Wow, live and learn
- Yes but I have to be careful I don't-
- Fiend! So thou art the culprit who hath kicked mine dog!
- Maybe I did, I have no regrets
- Ew, it's frogman again! ... You have a dog?
- Er... more of a giant frog, nevertheless, enguard!
- Careful! If I write some grafiti on the stage I'll be able to give you an even worse shape than the one you have now
- Leave my precious pink stage alone, mister!
- Thou dost presume I shalt give thee time! Psyche Split! *strikes Magus*
- Ugh! ... what was that?
- Tis a new art of swordsmanry
- Well you proved the stronger, blah blah blah, get your true form returned, yadda yadda, here's an amulet! *vanishes*
- *levels up*
- Would you get out of here?!
- 'till we meet again, witch *hops away*
- Hey, there'd better not be a next time!
- Well so much for Magus, I don't think you're allowed to win the pageant if you're dead
- Well actually the death of a participant in such pageants is not unknown. Additionally, in this place where being killed is more of an inconveniance than a true end it's entirely possible to die and still be back in time for the coronation ceremony. Especially when you consider how much time tends to intercede between each part of this procession.
- Holy crap! You can talk!?
- Our last contestant from the Chrono series isn't actually in Chrono Trigger but its sequal: Chrono Cross. Here's Serge!
- Just like Crono, Serge is entirely silent
- But this is actually just a cardboard cut-out of Serge, I don't know where the real guy is
- Still, he's kinda cute
- In a polygonal sorta way, right?
- Oh whatever *pushes 'Serge' off the stage*
- ... *lands face down on the floor*
- Now that was a wooden performance if I ever saw one
- ... *slaps Edge*
- Ow! It had to be said
- And that wraps it up for the guys of the Chrono series. Everyone else was icky or a robot... or unavailable
- Hold! Might I hath an opportunity now?
- Woah, yummy. Come on up here cutie-pie!
- I thank thee for thy kindness *gets onto the stage*
- I don't remember seeing you at the auditions, are you from Chrono Trigger?
- That I be, though I was present at the auditions I was not at my best
- Don't worry about that, I'll have a talk with Valvalis later
- Hey! But Nimufu that's...!
- Quiet! You're in already in enough trouble
- Grr...
- So tell us about yourself, you handsome stud
- Mine name is Glenn! I am heir to the legacy of Cyrus, the hero medal hath chosen me and the new dream blade Doreen is mine by right as well!
- W-wait a minute! Don't tell me...?!
- Doth something trouble thee?
- You're... that frog?!
- *gribbit*
- I don't believe this!
- Heehee, that's what you get for ignoring me...
- Glenn you're a honey. What'd you do, find a princess to kiss you?
- Twas the amulet Magus left, with it I was able to break his curse upon me
- Wow, you turned out way better than Jean did!
- Who?
- Sacre Blu! Who is this cad?
- Great... how many times have I told you to stop stalking me, Jean?
- But mon amour our love knows no end!
- I've got a restraining order right here which says otherwise
- I'll just let thee sort out this lover's quarrl
- Wait, no! Don't leave me with this overgrown oaf!
- Have you no honor, scoundral? I shall, how you say "defend" mon chere
- Haha, good luck to thee, Nimufu! *exits*
- *fumes* Great... Jean you're not even from the proper game developer, let alone series, to be showing up here!
- My heart could not be kept from you, my little buttercup
- That's it, time to die!
- I think it's going to get a little ugly in a moment, let's cut to commercials
- YES!
