- Nooo... GANDALF!!

- ...

- Oh, hi Schala. Time for another update, is it?

- No, I've come to resign

- What? Why?

- It's too much, I can't take it anymore; you're insane!

- ... this is about money, isn't it?

- You got it

- How much of a raise do you want?

- Well, considering I make nothing right now...

- You want to make twice as much? Well, ok

- Yay! Wait a minute, twice as much as nothing is still-

- No time for that now, we've got a site to update!

- *sigh* Ok, Hsumi wants to see Sephiroth versus Altima

- Any word about the Sephiroth gif?

- None

- Next

- Shadow vs. Edge, a rematch gone wrong; submitted by Esperman

- Well, apparantly he wrote the first ninety percent of the fight for me

- "One throws a ninja star, the other catches and throws back, adding another star, etc, until their juggling 50 stars. You write the ending."

- Really? Can I? Okay:

- *juggling* Wow, we're really good at this!

- *also juggling* Yeah, we should go on tour!

- And they did

- Zed would like Ozzie, Flea and Slash against the Magus Sisters

- But you're the only sister Magus has

- They don't mean Janus, they mean the ones from FF4... I think

- Well, I'll see what I can do, put it down

- Rinoa, Tifa and Garnet fighting over Squall, comes from Sakurako

- Haha, I'll do that one right now

- I've got Zidane, you two can settle this on your own

- I don't want him

- Well, Rinoa, I guess I'm all yours

- ... crud

- Loser: Squall

- Mustard bum wants to see Terra battle Celes

- Additional comments: "locke, sabin and Edgar." ... what, are they making the additional comments?

- Maybe it's an exhibition

- Rowr!

- Hiss!

- Woo, cat fight!

- Winners: The guys watching, I guess?

- Right... Joe wants a Kefka fight

- NEXT!

- It took Dark Moogle three entries to submit this request: Tidus Vs Cloud

- Well, this one's pretty obvious

- No, please, not again!

- It's the only way they'll learn

- OMNISHLASH!!!

- Winner: Cloud

- And, finally; Facundo wants to see you fight Kefka

- "to continue the kefka battle and do the third pageant"

- That's right

- But the Kefka battle is OV-AH

- But what about the third pageant? It's nearly time for the fourth by now

- Well, it just so happens I have a brilliant idea

- You're going to make a third pageant?

- No, there's just nothing more to be done with that dry old format, I've come up with something amazingly new and original

- So...? Out with it

- Rag Millionaire!

- Lavos take me

- You see, we'll round up all the girls; and make them think I'm rich! And they'll all fight over me!

- Do you honestly believe that?

- ... no. But, I'll go on a date with each one, and whichever date goes best is the winner!

- This is the best you could come up with?

- 'fraid so. Wait till you see I've got schedualed for the fourth pageant!

- When you say "all the girls"...

- Oh, don't worry, you're exempt

- I hate to push my luck, but why?

- You're my secretary, if we were seen on a date it'd lead to all sorts of horrible rumors about cigars and unwashed laundry

- ... well, looks like we're done here, goodbye forever!

- Wait! There's still the requests I recieved by email to go through

- (there's no escape!)

- Let's see what we've got here...

- Redalertgf has two requests: FFT Heros Vs Kefka's minions and Ragnarok III Vs the Judge

- Ragnarok III versus the Judge... Yeah... see, the judge is me; I'm the Judge, Ragnarok III is the judge is me. You want me to fight myself?

- Just... calm down there, next is...

- Is another Sephiroth battle: DELETED! Ah, that does feel good

- Strongbad does it better

- There's no substitute for Strongbad

- Aaron wants to see Ozzie, Slash and Flea fight Ultros

- Now that's a dream match, write it down

- From Kurt Penner:

- Ok, Ozzie? Flea? Slash? Who would win if Mario fought Carbunkle?

- Gotta be Mario, you can't mess with the Mario man!

- No way, Carbunkle's way too cute to lose

- Who did the guy want to win?

- Carbunkle

- Gotta go with Mario, then; mwahahaha

- Winner: Mario. That's what you get when you leave the decision to incompetant evil

- Kurt also requests Luca fight Ultros

- Ultros sure is popular lately, well, ok; that one should be easy to do

- And another one from Kurt

- Oh come on, why didn't he just put them all in the same email?

- Don't worry, it invovles Jenova

- Sorry Kurt, I don't have a Jenova sprite

- Kyla Charban wants to see Marle fight Garnet

- Well... I guess that's doable...

- Another X and Zero vs Megagato fight...

- It is the obvious route to take, next!

- Jack Ribbins: Mog Vs Vincent

- If a Vincent sprite turns up, I'm all over it

- Redalertgf again

- He's persistant

- Kefka's minions vs FFT Heros

- What minions does he mean? And which FFT Heros? Phunbaba and Doomgaze vs the cast of FFT? Hardly seems fair, next!

- Kefka Vs Megagato Vs Ragnarok III

- I win! Next!

- Gilgamesh Vs Ultros

- Ok, I'll do that

- TG Cid Vs Cid from FF7

- I already did that

- TG Cid Vs Agrias, Meliadoul and Gafgarion

- TG Cid would easily win

- And Kain Vs Delita

- I guess I can do that

- Jon wants to see Zero fight... Cloud

- Knights of the Round... yay.

- Cloud is victorious once more

- It's Kurt again, he wants to know who won the third pageant

- "I Just Wondered. Tifa or Lucca Might Win But Jenova has No Chance." You're right, Jenova does have no chance! But, the 'pageant' is going different this time, and it's not done, stay tuned!

- Gilgamesh has some requests

- I don't suppose any involve Gilgamesh, do they?

- How did you know? First is Gilgamesh Vs Tellah

- METEO! *drops dead*

- *killed by meteo*

- Winner: Draw

- Dalton Vs Ultros

- I'll throw that into the Ultros/Gilgamesh fight

- Golem Boss Vs Doomgaze (Golemboss hates heights)

- Doomgaze wins in the air, Golem Boss wins on the ground

- Edge Vs Frog

- That also goes into the Ultros/Gilgamesh/Dalton fight

- How?

- I have a plan

- Rydia and Edge Vs Edgar and Terra

- I'll do that one

- And lastly, this:

- I don't think that's a request, I think it's just a question. The answer: I dunno, I didn't defeat either of them

- Sage words

- Indeed

- It's Redalertgf again, wanting to see Kefka fight Super Gato

- Super Gato... is that like Gato with a cape on?

- Probably Mega-

- Super Gato, Super Gato; flying through the air! Super Gato, Super Gato; flying everywhere!

- Moving on once more... the last one: Celes Vs Golbez and Sabin Vs Yang

- Well, considering it's the last two, I'll do them

- Whew, finally the nightmare is over

- For now, dear Schala, for now. But who knows when the threat of requests will return!

- I'm outta here