: Now we move on to the girls of Final Fantasy Five

: Excuse me for a moment

: What? What is with you and your interrupting?

: I just want to explain a few things

: Hurry it up, this whole thing is taking forever

: There's a bit of a discrepency regarding the names of the FF5 characters. Mostly with ... uh... whats-her-name

<-- Her

: When I played FF5 (on a buggy ROM that died before I could finish the game) she was called Cara. But! Apparantly in the official translation for FFAnthology her name is Krile

: She may secretly be that stuff whales eat

: You'd be surprised how often krill come up in my daily life

: Twice in one month!

: Yes. Anyway, I tried to find out which name was really the right one, when I came across another: Kururu!

: Why me?

: Additionally I've seen... *summons visual aid*

<-- Her

: As, not only Lenna which I was familiar with; but also Reina

: Is there a point to all this?

: Eventually. In fact, Butz (aka ????) also had his name changed to Bartz for FFA. And that's going too far! So I'm going to use the names that I'm familiar with, be they correct or otherwise

: I'm not even in the pageant

: Nevertheless; the names are as follows:

: Lenna

: Cara

: and Fred! ... I mean Faris

: Those cue cards really should be bigger

: Right, now back to the show

: That's my line

: I thought it was my line

: [... there I found a small blue rabbit who-]

: Give me that translator! *throws the translator out the window*

: Op-uk...

: So anyway, let's bring out Lenna

: Hello! Hi everyone, it's great to be here!

: Nice outfit

: Thank you, it's from my dancer job

: You work as a dancer? I thought you were a princess or something

: I am, you see, it's not an occupation; it's a class

: Class? You took dancing in school?

: ... nevermind

: I hate when people don't explain things properly

: Right, whatever! I'm going to dance now!

: Ok then, hop to it

: SWORD DANCE! *slashes Kefka*

: Ouch!! Why does everyone hurt me, the loveable, psychotic clown??

Audience: *does that usual clapping thing*

: *bows* Thank you! Thank you!

: I can't believe I had to do all that work... for this!

: *laughs at Kefka*

: *thwack!*

: ...

: Even that has lost it's charm

: Kefka seems to have lost his focus...

: Monkey!

: Wh... what did you just say?

: Opuk?

: I guess it was just my imagination...

: *smiles evilly*

: Next we have Faris

: *walks onto the stage*

: Faris is the captain of a gang of priates, she 'looks like a man'... apparantly

: And I'm proud of it!

: Right... you aren't going to dance, are you?

: I'm going to sing. I'm a bard, for the moment

: Alright, what song?

: The love song! *sings the love song*

: ... I love you

: ... uh oh *runs*

: Come back, my love! *chases*

: And theeere they go! Faris has a good lead from her head start, but Kefka's catching up...!

: Op, op

: Security! Help!

: Uh, security's not supposed to attack the host...

: Someone really should do something

: Uk!

: Well... ok... *slaps Kefka*

: Ack! ... what... was I doing...?

: Please don't hurt me!

: ...? Well you must have done something then!

: Eep! *runs away*

: This just isn't my day... Finally, the last of the FF5 entries; Cara

: *walks out cutely*

Audience: Ka-waii!

: No one really knows much about you... what've you got for us?

: I'm going to stand here and look cute

: Fair enough

: *stands and looks cute*

: *suddenly catches on fire* GAH! Why?!

: What the?

: *evil laugh*

: Kefka has inexplicably caught on fire...

: Someone help!

: ICE 3!! *casts Ice 3 on Kefka*

: Ack! Why not Ice 2 or 1?

: Ice 3 is prettier

: ... someone is messing with me, and I mean to get to the bottom of it! Commercial break!

: That wraps it up for FF5, when we return, the women of FF6, including the returning champion; Celes!

: *shifty eyes*

So ends Part 3. Will Kefka find out who's setting him up? Will Gom reveal his evil plans? Are those two things related at all??
Part 4 will begin with.... a commercial!