Commercial break

: Do you have anger issues?

: Do you prefer to kill your opposition instead of talking things through?

: Then we welcome you to Anger Managment Moogles

: Through years of study, we have made a major break through

: And have found that... moogles make people happy

: Anger Managment Moogles will help even the most evil of people become a happy, productive member of society

: But don't just take our word for it, take other people's word for it too!

: It works... it really works! *is handed a bag of money*

: Now let us demonstrate in three easy steps, our magnificent program

: Step 1, ask for help

: My name is Cecil... I have dark armor...

: Step 2, give us money- uh, I mean, sign up and we'll show you a moogle!

: Kupo!

: Step 3, you're cured!

: Yay!

: Take a look at this recent case we had. Before:

: MOERO! HAHAHAHAHA!

: After:

: La la la

: Note: Gender changing does not always occur

: So if you're sadistic, or know someone who is

: Come on down to Anger Managment Moogles!

End Commercial Break

: Hello, and welcome back once again; Kefka's investigation is still underway...

: Where were you on the night of the last full moon?!

: Op?

: A likely story! Take him away!

: *takes Gom away*

: I'll deal with him later; first I've got to get this pageant out of the way

: I lose more co-hosts than... something that loses a lot of co-hosts!

: Now we move on to the greatest of all games, as I play the starring role, Final Fantasy VI

Audience: *applaudes politly so as not to anger Kefka*

: Unfortunatly this pageant features three of the horrible villains found in the game; starting with Relm

: *hops onto the stage* Hello everybody!

: Relm's a sassy mouthed little brat who threatens people with paint

: *sticks tongue out at Kefka* I love you too

: She can't fight on her own, so she has to use portraits

: That's right, watch this-

: *takes Relm's paint brush* I don't think so

: Hey, I'm supposed to show off my skills, this isn't fair!

: Find a way that doesn't harm me

: *sulks* You're no fun

: Mwahaha, just run out crying if you want, I don't care

: I know! *puts on a fake moustache* Ta da!

: Hey, no! Security!

: What do you want I should do?

: Control! *takes control of Doomgaze*

: Well, better him than me

: *makes Doomgaze fly around and do loop-de-loops*

: *rams into a wall*

: Ouch! Doomgaze is out cold!

: Tee hee

: Thanks for stopping by, Relm *shoves her off the stage*

: Hey!

: Next up is Terra

: Hello... Kefka!

: Terra is your typical whiny girl with amnesia

: I don't have amnesia anymore; and it was your fault, too!

: You see? Whiny

: Grrr...!

: Anyway, what have you got to show us?

: Well I thought I'd fry you to a crisp, but apparantly that's not allowed

: You people really should check in with Anger Management Moogles

: So I guess I'll just morph and stand here

: Exciting

: *morphs* You take all the fun out of this

: Thanks, I try... say, where'd your clothes go?

: Uh... they're around...

: They disappeared, you aren't wearing any clothes!

Audience: *gasps*

: ... it's true!

: Espers don't wear clothes. It's not that bad

Media People: *suddenly show up and take pictures*

: Mwehehehee!

: That's it! MERTON!

Media People: *scream and die*

: Ouch!

Audience: *are protected by a plot hole*

: Ack!

: ...

: Ugh...

: Security!

: *still out cold*

: *still running*

: ... oh, I guess that's me

: Take her away

: *blasts Kefka with Flare and flies away*

: Argh!

: Good thing I showed up...

: Wait, if you're here, Phunbaba's running away, and Doomgaze isn't even conscious... who's guarding Gom??

: Who?

: *laughs from a secret hiding place*

: Great...

: Hey, Kefka

: What?

: Could we get back to the pageant?

: Most of the audience is still under their seats

: Even so-

: And the stage is on fire

: Work around it...

: And I have an insane Elgoom plotting my death

: Alright, we'll just wait then; I can commentate on the objects in my desk

: Sounds good

: *casts Ice 3 on the stage*

: Well let's see, I have a pencil... a lamp... a piece of paper...

Audience: *stops hiding*

: *drags Maduin away*

: ... half of a chocolate bar...

: Ok, let's finish off this portion of the pageant with Celes, last year's winner

: *walks out and trips*

: Mwahaha!

: Oof! Who put this trip wire here?

: Mwehehe! I don't know, but it was funny!

: ... Well, anyway- *falls through a concealed hole in the stage* Gah!

: Those traps better not have been for me

: *climbs back onto the stage* What's going on here?

: I blame Gom

: *suddenly opens up*

: *appears out of the gate*

: Oh no!

: What...?

: *explodes*

So ends Part 4. Did everyone survive? Did anyone? See Part 5 to find out...