Cyan's Trial - Act 3 - The Verdict - Order, order I say! Let the trial of Cyan Garamonde commence - This is an outrage! - You will refrain from such outbursts. You stand here accused of two crimes. One, being a Pervy Imp Fancier. Two, undue assault of an imp. How plead you? - Innocent of the first, and innocent by act of annoyance to the second - Objection! There is no such act - Please elaborate, Cyan - They were all bugging me, I tried to shut them up - Objection overruled, some people are very annoying - Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I come here today on behalf of the SPCI to- - Ahem... - Yes? - There is no jury - What is this, small claims court? I demand a jury! And dramatic music! - I'm 'The Judge' around these here parts, so I'll be all you need to convince - *grumble grumble* Very well, your honor. I shall proceed to call my first witness: Princess Nadia - Hiyas - Marle, please detail what you saw during Kappa's fight with Cyan - Well, I showed up after it was all over, but I clearly saw Cyan demanding Kappa remove his clothes - That was my equipment! - So, you force imps to dress up in little outfits do you? - He stole the armor from me - Hey, Order! And stuff! - What else can you tell us, Nadia? - When I caught Cyan trying to strip the imp, he ran away - Just the act of a guilty man! - Exactly! - Tell me, how did Cyan react when you confronted him on the grounds of being a PIF? - He resisted arrest and attacked Kappa - No doubt to silence the victim! No further questions - Cyan, would you like to cross-examine the witness - No, she is not a witness, just a deluded fool - Hey! - You may step down - I now call my second witness, Edward - Hi - Edward, can you tell the court what you saw after your fight with kappa? - I was in a dark tunnel. I saw a light, and I headed towards it. But when I got there it turned out to be a large chicken who tried to peck men and I... - With regards to Cyan and Kappa, Edward - I didn't see them, but it was a very large chicken and they could have been standing behind it - ... no further questions - Cyan? - Edward, how did the imp defeat you in battle? - Well he took your various imp related armor... - I believe you mean "stole" - Uh, what's wrong with "took"? - Because it was an act of theft! He blatantly said "yoink" as he snatched the items! - Objection! The defendant is badgering the witness - Cyan, please don't involve any small furry mammals in your interrogation technique - *whisper whisper* - Oh... Cyan your behavior is deplorable. Edward, you're free to go - My final witness is Vargas - Vargas? What about Kappa? - I wish to cause no more tourmoil for that poor imp. He has suffered so much already - That's very considerate of you - I demand the right to call Kappa as a witness, it is crucial to my defense! - Now now, we can't have the victim of this affair to suffer unduely, I hereby disallow it - But how can I prove...! - Vargas, please take the witness stand - ... - Now, Vargas, as an acting officer of the SPCI; what happend when you tried to put Cyan under lawful arrest? - ... - I'm sorry, what? - ... - Vargas, it is very important that you answer my question - Oh no, I'm not falling for that... Oops! - What are you talking about? - You told me not to say anything, remember? At the secret meeting about the- - NO FURTHER QUESTIONS! Thank you Vargas, please never speak again and go away now - ... *goes to leave* - Hold, I have some questions - ... - What is the Chancellor hiding? - ... - Answer! You are under oath! - Well, he isn't really... - He should be! - I'm making notes, next trial I'm going to get everything right, I promise - But what about this trial? - Everything's a learning experiance - Very well, the prosecuter has offered no real evidence anyway - Your honor, I submit this Tortise Shell as evidence - Very well - Evidence of what? - It has been dusted and found to have both Kappa and the defendant's finger prints on it - And...? - And? That's proof! Obviously the only possible explanation is that Cyan is a sick man who forces imps- - Alright alright, we don't need to go over that again - Your honor, that is my tortise Shell which I have a receipt for. It was taken from me by the imp Kappa without my permission and later returned by him to me. It is evidence only of my innocence - Anything more, Chancellor? - ... no - Very well, it is my ruling that Cyan is not a Pervy Imp Fancier, there has been no reliable evidence to back the claim of the SPCI - Yay! - However, Cyan, can you deny the charge of imp brutality? - Only by stating that Marle was being very annoying with false accusations - Be that as it may, you should therefor have attacked Marle. I'm afraid you are guilty of first degree imp abuse - Yay! - I assign you two months of community work in the service of the SPCI. That will be all, court is adjourned The End
- Order, order I say! Let the trial of Cyan Garamonde commence
- This is an outrage!
- You will refrain from such outbursts. You stand here accused of two crimes. One, being a Pervy Imp Fancier. Two, undue assault of an imp. How plead you?
- Innocent of the first, and innocent by act of annoyance to the second
- Objection! There is no such act
- Please elaborate, Cyan
- They were all bugging me, I tried to shut them up
- Objection overruled, some people are very annoying
- Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I come here today on behalf of the SPCI to-
- Ahem...
- Yes?
- There is no jury
- What is this, small claims court? I demand a jury! And dramatic music!
- I'm 'The Judge' around these here parts, so I'll be all you need to convince
- *grumble grumble* Very well, your honor. I shall proceed to call my first witness: Princess Nadia
- Hiyas
- Marle, please detail what you saw during Kappa's fight with Cyan
- Well, I showed up after it was all over, but I clearly saw Cyan demanding Kappa remove his clothes
- That was my equipment!
- So, you force imps to dress up in little outfits do you?
- He stole the armor from me
- Hey, Order! And stuff!
- What else can you tell us, Nadia?
- When I caught Cyan trying to strip the imp, he ran away
- Just the act of a guilty man!
- Exactly!
- Tell me, how did Cyan react when you confronted him on the grounds of being a PIF?
- He resisted arrest and attacked Kappa
- No doubt to silence the victim! No further questions
- Cyan, would you like to cross-examine the witness
- No, she is not a witness, just a deluded fool
- Hey!
- You may step down
- I now call my second witness, Edward
- Hi
- Edward, can you tell the court what you saw after your fight with kappa?
- I was in a dark tunnel. I saw a light, and I headed towards it. But when I got there it turned out to be a large chicken who tried to peck men and I...
- With regards to Cyan and Kappa, Edward
- I didn't see them, but it was a very large chicken and they could have been standing behind it
- ... no further questions
- Cyan?
- Edward, how did the imp defeat you in battle?
- Well he took your various imp related armor...
- I believe you mean "stole"
- Uh, what's wrong with "took"?
- Because it was an act of theft! He blatantly said "yoink" as he snatched the items!
- Objection! The defendant is badgering the witness
- Cyan, please don't involve any small furry mammals in your interrogation technique
- *whisper whisper*
- Oh... Cyan your behavior is deplorable. Edward, you're free to go
- My final witness is Vargas
- Vargas? What about Kappa?
- I wish to cause no more tourmoil for that poor imp. He has suffered so much already
- That's very considerate of you
- I demand the right to call Kappa as a witness, it is crucial to my defense!
- Now now, we can't have the victim of this affair to suffer unduely, I hereby disallow it
- But how can I prove...!
- Vargas, please take the witness stand
- ...
- Now, Vargas, as an acting officer of the SPCI; what happend when you tried to put Cyan under lawful arrest?
- I'm sorry, what?
- Vargas, it is very important that you answer my question
- Oh no, I'm not falling for that... Oops!
- What are you talking about?
- You told me not to say anything, remember? At the secret meeting about the-
- NO FURTHER QUESTIONS! Thank you Vargas, please never speak again and go away now
- ... *goes to leave*
- Hold, I have some questions
- What is the Chancellor hiding?
- Answer! You are under oath!
- Well, he isn't really...
- He should be!
- I'm making notes, next trial I'm going to get everything right, I promise
- But what about this trial?
- Everything's a learning experiance
- Very well, the prosecuter has offered no real evidence anyway
- Your honor, I submit this Tortise Shell as evidence
- Very well
- Evidence of what?
- It has been dusted and found to have both Kappa and the defendant's finger prints on it
- And...?
- And? That's proof! Obviously the only possible explanation is that Cyan is a sick man who forces imps-
- Alright alright, we don't need to go over that again
- Your honor, that is my tortise Shell which I have a receipt for. It was taken from me by the imp Kappa without my permission and later returned by him to me. It is evidence only of my innocence
- Anything more, Chancellor?
- ... no
- Very well, it is my ruling that Cyan is not a Pervy Imp Fancier, there has been no reliable evidence to back the claim of the SPCI
- Yay!
- However, Cyan, can you deny the charge of imp brutality?
- Only by stating that Marle was being very annoying with false accusations
- Be that as it may, you should therefor have attacked Marle. I'm afraid you are guilty of first degree imp abuse
- I assign you two months of community work in the service of the SPCI. That will be all, court is adjourned
The End
