Now I know you're saying,
'Well everybody's life isn't all peachy, we all have good and bad days.'
I agree with you totally, we all have good and bad days but my bad days outnumber
the good and even though, mentally, I've become accustomed to my hardships
it still doesn't mean, emotionally, I haven't learned to deal. I've tried
and tried to put things in the past but sometimes some feelings are too strong
to be subsided. Sometimes those feelings take over totally and the aftermath
isn't always pretty. There has been a few times I've come close to ending
all the pain and heartache, but there has always been someone who has meant
something to me and stopped me.
Now though it seems as if the ones I've cared
for, the ones who've I've opened my arms and heart to, the ones I've given
a soft shoulder to cry on, the ones I've helped overcome problems, fears,
insecurities and such, have moved on to bigger and better things and have
left me behind to fend for myself. They always say "If you ever need to talk,
I'm here.", but when it comes my turn to need a hug, a shoulder to cry on
or maybe just a helping hand to get me back on the right path...where is everybody?
On the outside I might try to be mature and adult and handle my own situations
but on the inside I'm still a child looking for a grown-up to help me across
the street. Always putting others ahead of myself, my emotions were put on
hold until I would get to them, but I never seemed to. Issues were left untouched,
chapters of my life were left open. My book of life has many chapters left
open and unfinished, and even though they are in the past now, they still
have an effect on what is to come in the future.