peli random peli (2004-2006)

semi-nigthsweat

do elephants?
tear & pearl
get your act together

filmbuffs in panties parade in the park
inpantice?
fay or fawn
this the antitom
this may

pass the german test
toothpaste is together
ibis&bibiscus, lotus&ibis
some too lazy to look good
down the into it

lotus&hibiscus, hibiscus&ibis
the sojourner truth of it
isospheres hover
delano delineates
by definition
but by definition
the enormity of it

too is not an adverb of decadent
my my
my maggots, my sexy maggots
this is the sg else though
a pianoforte, of laughter

faint & raising
this is sg healthy
ad absurdum, ad infinitum

thank god i'm a vip


sing-song equinox

take me to the raspberry bushes
whoever you are and whereas
deep into the prickly thicket
prurience i can comprehend & other lesser convenience

titillating frozen starburst flicker
sturdy implosions (of an eye)
their feline christmas subtlety
moderately unbaffling
black & spry with blue discolorations

& i like the ubiquitous concept of global
for all is susceptible to its sophistication
& all are receptive to its inertia
global trust, global doubt
stay put

just hollow me, stark joy
of expedience & shallow features
fill me with special pretensions instead
why, they are here to amuse themselves

but the damage you do, modest magic
drawn with white chalk
& drawn to the silvery fact

you can disabuse all if you want to
& can still leave them intact


drag-on

worse things happen at sea you know
but the seven spirals
the nescient compliance
you wish to wish it away
to wish it away you wish
the manifold demigod
her visage is out of focus out of courtesy
very much the other
dashes & periods
to force-feed your vegetarian dog

the questoins whyer by the day 
& by the way more unhinged
scouting the incumbent void
what you do is  -  always only
a small portion of who you are
but lookie here / & don't you know
from regret to regression
it's a full circle of emotional semi-circles
a constellation of consternations

succulant to wit
stoking the domestic fire
without much cohesion or fiscal discretion
just add - tassel to taste
there are parsecs to parry
& the wilting nimbus
thru love's uncanny mediation
combs your will
toward an undemonstrative disngagement
temporarily stuck on the drag-on stroke



An introduction to confuse
(or – a confusion to introduce a clarity to be gained at a loss of all – if not nothing)

You might as well start somehow – for it always starts by itself – or so it appears – and one appearance is like 
      many – and many is one – yet all are some
Nothing like a scandal – of all things – it keeps the mind properly unfocused – they issue forth – these vague 
      impressions – forming a web of maze-like interpenetrations
I mean to say – or do I – does anything at all – not that it matters – not that mattering itself could possibly matter
As likely as not – plumb lumps – boil over – to the side really – side from one side but center from the center – if 
      one designates a center – arbitrarily

Take a fact – any – and with the mildest of effort – effortlessly taking place by itself – taking time without needing 
      any – a past is a past but from where
If only questions were the anwser – as they are not – no more than other things – for one should wonder 
      were it possible
Yet wonder we do – against all odds – all at any length – terrible as it is – it delights – what’s more – it is 
      something else too
And lo and behold – just like in fairy tales – as much as in real life – as much as life is real – as much a sin 
      as in the eye of the beholder

But let’s regress – or pretend at least – for the time being – for time being time – and it will seem different – as 
      everything else is itself different from itslef – as far as one can tell
But again one cannot – whoever that one might be – mind you we are that one – or are we not – or not sufficiently – and 
      do we care
Or it can – if by can we mean the act – and not the effect – which follows from nowhere one knows – as if knowing was a 
      fact – or a possibility itself – or a statistics
But this much shall suffice – as much as anything can suffice – for so it declares itself –and that will have to 
      do – for now – for what is not now – is even less – more or less


convenience poem

To understand is to be duped
A weakness one might as well admire
’m’only joking
to believe, more like it
to believe is to live
to put it bluntly
but look at it from the other side
one which you haven’t considered yet
and can not either
that should help a great deal
let it meander
where else is there to go?
float they say, float or flip?
This is not a love song
But it ought to be
though ought is striving and yearning
the other day I even wanted a cardigan
it was a very pretty one
but still
what was i thinking?
i was not, for a second, 
and good for me, too
forgetting myself, only to realize that autumn is here
some poets like the autumn
what’s a poet by the way?
a misspelled pot, really, as far as I’m concerned
which I hardly am
a pot for a pothead
the supreme aesthetic excuse
„I love the sublime” cries, oh hell
I’m done with that stuff
This I do only cause it’s raining outside
Kinda raining anyhow
Cold for sure
So this is what worlds are made of
Lick me, beckett, stein, pound
I care not to repeat the past
Only it weighs a bit heavy nonetheless
Damn vanity
And there are worse things too
It’s a bit too easy not to make a point
A bit easy and not particularly satisfactory
For whatever i might claim, satisfaction I’m after too
More like it’s still ahead of me
O la la, you can wait for that
Better wait for a bus
Any bus, really, can’t even stand buses that much
Not that I should
I better end this somewhere, I’m already coming to the end of the page
And there are few things like convenience 


education iii (10pm in a tesco)

we were standing in line at a check-out counter
ready to pay for a bottle of absinthe for a night of hedonistic partying
(along the lines of turn-of –the-century french bohemia to
 find out if that wormwood could teach us any new tricks)
and right
in front of us 		there was this kid
couldn’t have been more than 10
slightly anxious looking
or tired, I couldn’t quite tell
he was buying a plastic shield & swords set, 999Ft
his fist was nervously clutching a bill & he was alone
no parents, no elder brother, no friends with him
at 10pm in a suburban tesco 
two round women in front of him tried to chat him up
one praising his find
and telling her friend that she should buy one too 
for her son 
the older lady at the counter was also very nice to the boy
I am not too proud of that unvoiced collective pity 
that
 was 
lightly 
   hanging 
in the air


HOMAGE 184

I have never seen him, this invisible member of the panel, this
	thirteenth juror, but I have certain clues;
I know your neckties where they line the rack, orderly from
	day to day, from year to year,
I sing of simple people and the hardier virtues, by Associated 
	Stuffed Shirts & Company, Incorporated, 358 West 42d 
	Street, New York, brochure enclosed;
If I am to live, or be in the studios,
If I could reply, but once, to these many new and kindly 
	companions I have found
IF MONEY
If the doorbell rings, and we think we are followed here; or 
	if the bell should ring but we are not sure-
If you have lost the radio beam, then guide yourself by the 
	sun or the stars.
If you watch it long enough you can see the clock move,
Illimitable grief, at night,
IN CONLUSION see CONCLUSION
In me slumber the strong secrets
In the small but crowded attic of Irene’s mind there is room
	for everything except confusion, hesitancy, and doubt;
Innocent of the mean or stupid, and innocent of crime,
INVITATION
IRENE HAS A MIND OF HER OWN
Is there still any shadow there, on the rainwet window of the	
	coffee pot,
It comes to this, 


HOMAGE 184 (III)

I have never seen him, this invisible member of the panel, this 
	thirteenth juror, but I have 255 certain clues;
I know your 257 neckties where they line the rack, orderly from 
	day to day, from year to year,
I sing of simple people and the 147 hardier virtues, by Associated 
	Stuffed Shirts & Company, Incorporated, 358 West 42d 	
        Street, New York, brochure enclosed;
If I am to live, or be in the 64 studios,
If I could reply, but once, to these many new and kindly 272	
	companions I have found
IF MONEY
If the doorbell rings, and we think we are followed here; or 
	if the bell should ring 137 but we are not sure-
If you have lost the radio beam, then guide yourself by the 
	sun or the 185 stars.
If you watch it long enough you can see the clock move 210,
Illimitable grief, 28 at night,
IN CONLUSION see CONCLUSION
In me slumber the 40 strong secrets
In the small but crowded attic of Irene’s mind there is room
	 for everything except confusion, hesitancy, 264 and doubt;
Innocent of the 82 mean or stupid, and innocent of crime,
INVITATION
IRENE HAS A MIND OF HER OWN 264
Is there still any shadow there, 153 on the rainwet window of the
	coffee pot,
It comes to this, 


IN MY GARDEN

IN MY GARDEN THERE ARE NEW FLOWERS TONIGHT
PURPLE AND BLUE
In the garden there are many more gardens …
YES, THE SPACE IT’S NOT HERE
Space fills the spirit
Spirit fills the space
SPACE TAKE ME NOW, DON’T DIRTY MY SPIRIT
Trees grow downwards if you ask them to, did you know?
NO, I WANT ONLY FRESH AIR,
NOTHING SO DIRTY OR SO PHYSICAL OR SO NATURAL
Dirt too is only in the eye of the beholder
MAYBE TOO
MAYBE IS IN THE TELEVISION
MAYBE IS NOT VISIBLE?
WHO KNOWS?
Television knows, tv liberates spirit from space
ARE YOU SURE? 
MY WINGS FLY, THAT’S ALL I KNOW FOR NOW.
FLOWERS ARE THE SOUVENIRS
Who is not an anti-garden spirit-space-warbler?
STOP
Stop for nothing
Except for fun
STOP THE TRAIN
Train the hand to think instead of me
YOU? YES MAYBE, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TRIP?
There’s no trip without a coat
And an end to vision
SURE MY EYES DON’T NEED ANY GLASSES TO SEE
Vision what you have to,
The rest the government will finance
SHIT SYSTEM – I DON’T WANT (LIKE) IT. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
From wall to wall comes the light
Before the darkness
BLACK IS NOT SO DARK
So dark is desirable only if coveted
And then it’s taxable too
I TRY TO VOMIT NOW, PLEASE BE WITH ME

contra naturam