Signs you're really broke

--American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

--Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.

--You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

--You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe. --Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.

--Your credit card companies raised the rates from 6.9% to 24.9%.

--You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

--You receive care packages from Europe.

--Your bologna has no first name.

--You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.

--You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

--You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

--You give blood everyday - for the orange juice.

--McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

--Consumer Credit Counseling services said "No."

--The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets.

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