For some reason a movie always inevitably opens on my birthday. My birthday even fell on a Tuesday this year and still, a movie was opening. Actually, "Godzilla" was TECHNICALLY opening on Wednesday, but if you're spry, you could find showings in Manhattan the day before.

So I went. I went because the movie is set in New York, and Matthew Broderick is in it, and the special effects might be cool. But mainly I just went.

The people who made this movie had clearly learned from other disaster/destruction movies of the past: We the audience want action, and lots of it. Who among us didn't get aggravated by all that silly dialogue in "Twister"? Or the serious lack of stuff getting blown up in "Independence Day"? More more more, we say!

"Godzilla" gets into the action right away, and pretty much keeps it up until the very (two hours and 15 minutes later, FYI) end. There are only a couple of lulls where they have to catch us up on the silly, thin plot, but then the excitement starts up again. And you get to see LOTS of "Godzilla," which I was pleased with. They make you wait until about 30 minutes into the film to get a GOOD LOOK and actually see his face, but once you do, you get to see him plenty after that.

As far as MY reaction to "Godzilla," the movie left me feeling empty and sick. But here's my theory on how that happened: You have to be in the MOOD for a Twinkie to eat a Twinkie. And if you're not in the mood for a Twinkie and you eat one, you're going to end up feeling sick and empty -- you're pretty much going to be sorry that you ate it. As much as I thought I was in the mood to see "Godzilla," I guess I really wasn't in the zone.

Part of it was that I felt SORRY for "Godzilla." I mean, let's face it, all he wanted to do was eat, have some kids, and live his life. And in typical human style we start trying to kill him. Hey, it's not HIS fault we're too small to handle him and he keeps crushing our buildings. He's just trying to get by, like everyone else. I mean, I know we have to kill Godzilla, but do we have to be so happy about it? Can't anyone, even for a second, have a little compassion for a giant lizard and his plight?

By the way, the dialogue in this movie is HORRID. I mean, it's unbelievably bad. And the leading lady is such a tremendous dip, I can only assume they did it on purpose. Poor Matthew Broderick. I love him so, but he was given some terrible lines to deliver. It's not his fault. Although he did TAKE the part. Maybe it's a Susan Sarandon Rocky Horror Picture Show sort of thing. Then again, maybe he thought this would actually be a good movie.

There are so many huge holes in logic, I just had to let it go after awhile. All the typical horror movie stuff, like the way people just STOOD AROUND and then ran at the last second. Or the way Godzilla would be RIGHT BEHIND someone and they wouldn't hear him. Or the way no one was really panicking that there was a giant lizard stomping around New York City -- people were actually HANGING OUT in bars watching it on the news. Ugh. I can't go on.

The highlight for me, other than watching a lot of New York get completely destroyed by a lizard, was Hank Azaria, who plays a nutty camera man nicknamed "Animal." He's so cute.

All in all, I'd say be in the mood for the Twinkie that is "Godzilla" before you go see it. And think about what I said about having a little compassion. That lizard had heart.



Get Back.

Write to me.


1