It's called "orbitz," and it's made by those people who bring us those tasty Clearly Canadian beverages. The first time I saw this new product, my mouth was agape in horror. For those of you who haven't spotted this yet, here's a brief description: A clear glass bottle, with clear liquid (non-carbonated) inside that has colored dots floating in it. And I don't mean floating on top. I mean these things are evenly distributed throughout. Suspended in the drink, seeming to know somehow where they should be and where they fit into the big picture.
How do they do it? Well, I've got a couple of theories: Each dot (they look kinda like tiny tadpoles without the tails) has an electromagnetic field around it that wards the other dots off about an inch. So each dot ends up positioning itself just far enough away from the other dots to make it all even.
My other theory is that Satan is somehow involved.
Either way, it just seems sick and wrong to have a drink with floaty things evenly distributed in bright colors in a clear liquid. And this is before I've even opened it. It's sitting on my desk right now, looking at me. With it's evil price-taggery.
Before I open it, I'd like to mention that not only does it say DEFY GRAVITY on the lid of the bottle, but they have their Web site URL on it. (Of course, does it have a simple picture of their product on it? NOOO.)
Oh the humanity.
The flavor I chose, only because it was the least disgusting-sounding, was "raspberry citrus." Actually, they all sounded pretty awful, and they mixed these heinous flavors together (like blueberry and strawberry -- ecch!) and then put red, orange, or yellow dots in it to signify the theme. Mine has yellow dots.
All right. I'm gonna open it now.
It smells really sweet. Not in a good way. I pour it into a glass and the dots plink-plink into it, along with the clear fluid. The dots are still floating, evenly distributed, in the glass now.
I'm scared to taste it, because it just reeks. Plus I'm still recovering from that ice cream chocolate sauce M&Ms Coca Cola binge I had yesterday afternoon starting at 2:30.
Have I mentioned that this drink has its own Web site?
Jennifer figured out what it smells like -- Sno Cones. It took some persuasion (okay, peer pressure), but I finally took an itty-bitty sip.
It actually didn't taste as bad as it smelled. It was sweet, but like a watered-down sweet of what you smelled. Next step: Drinking one of the dots.
What a totally disgusting experience. I had to go to the sink and spit it out. Play with the dot with your tongue, and it comes apart, sort of. It felt a little waxy, a little plastic-y, and a lot gross.
Oh, man. $1.29 for this. What a country.