Disclaimer: I don’t own anything even slightly related to Marvel. Therefore, I am using their characters without permission. Oh well, sue me! Wait -- I mean *don’t* sue me! Sheesh! I’m not worth much anyway. Hey you! Yes, you out there reading this!! *Is* there anyone reading this? Well, I know that there are at least, (hmm... let me see) I guess about five people reading this because they mailed me about it at one time or another. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, if you are reading this please let me know what you think. Even if you hate it with a passion. Tell me about it. I really want to know. Thanks. (cvotulle@vt.edu -- and, yes, vt stands for Virginia Tech... home of the infamous Hokie Bird!! I can tell you care.) Revelations: Part 11 Chris Votulle, July 1997 Rogue stared at the door for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening. She wanted to go in, but she just couldn’t get up the nerve so she continued pacing the floor. After her encounter with Kali, she had gone outside for a walk to collect her thoughts. When she had lapped the mansion five times without coming to any conclusions, she decided to go inside and somehow found herself standing outside of Remy’s room. She put her hand on the doorknob and twisted it. She pushed the door open slowly. That was a sobering thought. She grimaced at the thought of Kali having to battle with her own inner demons just so she could have some freedom. Rogue didn’t believe that for a second. She believed that everything came at a price, but she didn’t want to give up her independence just yet. Besides, Kali was a telepath. Sort of. If she was in trouble she could always contact her. Rogue quietly stepped into Remy’s room and waited a few moments for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. It was still afternoon, but Remy had all of his shades drawn in an attempt to simulate night while he slept. She could see his sleeping form sprawled out on his bed. He was still wearing his clothes -- that was unusual -- and his face was contorted in a mask of pain. She gently sat down next to him on the bed, but he didn’t stir. “Hello Remy,” she whispered. “Ah’ve got somethin’ ta say ta ya, shugah.” Maybe it was better that he wasn’t awake. “Ah love ya. I do, but Ah hate ya at the same time and it’s tearin’ me apart. Ah guess Ah’m a coward for not tellin’ ya this while you’re awake, but can ya blame me? Every time Ah try ta talk ta ya, ya gotta say somethin’ rude, or vague, or insultin’ and then ya go off somewhere and sulk. Why can’t ya evah be honest with me? Why can’t ya talk ta me? Ya obviously feel somethin’ for me. Whatevah it is, I wish ya’d tell me. Ah wish Ah knew.” She brushed aside a strand of his hair absentmindedly. “Ah wish Ah knew a lot of things, Remy. Ah wish Ah knew what all those nightmare Ah’ve been having meant. Ah know that they’re from you. Ah never had them before. Why can’t ya tell me? Ya’ve gone ahead and dragged me into you’re own private hell and ya won’t even let me know what you’ve done ta deserve it. Ah mean, who am Ah ta judge you anyway? We’ve all done our share of bad deeds in this lifetime and Ah’m definitely no exception. Ah think Ah deserve ta know. It’s only fair.” “Ah love ya Remy, but it could never work out between us. You can’t touch me. Well, not normally. And Ah couldn’t take the pain of seein’ you sneekin’ around with some one-night-stand time and time again just because they can give you somethin’ that Ah can’t. You and Ah were never meant ta be and it’s just cruel ta pretend otherwise. Ah don’t know what Ah even came here for anymore. It’s not like ya can hear me. Ah better go.” She looked down at him once again and felt the tears rising within in her. She loved this man. He was a thief, a womanizer and sometimes a complete jerk, but she loved him all the same. She swore at the unfairness of life and bent down to kiss him gently on the lips. They were warm and soft. She longed to be able to kiss him wholly, but she couldn’t do that without waking him and that would only create more tension for them later on. A tear escaped from her eye and wandered down her cheek. She got up to leave, but froze when she felt his arm wrap itself around her waist. She looked down at his eyes at saw that they were open. “Rogue? Chere? What’re ye doin’ here?” His words were slurred and his accent was more pronounced than usual. Rogue hoped that this was due to the fact that the sedative that Hank had given him hadn’t worn off yet. If that was the case, then she still had a chance to escape without incident. “Remy, you’re dreamin’. Go back ta sleep.” He looked at her with a mischievous gleam in his eye. “Oh? Well, if dis is a dream den I want te get de most out if it. Gambit doesn’t ‘ave many nice dreams.” He pulled her closer and kissed her passionately on the mouth. She tried to protest, but was drawn in by the pleasure of finally being able to kiss him without the fear of killing him. He was stirring feelings in her that she never knew existed. Being so close to him was intoxicating. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the moment, not caring of the consequences. All that mattered in the world at that moment was kissing him. For all she cared, it could go on forever. After quite some time, Remy released his hold and looked at her again. “Chere, I’ve never had a dream dis real before. Are you sure dat I’m asleep?” Rogue felt a pang of guilt. Remy looked so confused, yet so hopeful. She hated to lie to him, but she really felt that it was for the best. “Yeah, you’re sleepin’. Why else do ya think ya can kiss me?” “I was wondering ‘bout dat. But if I’m sleepin’, how come dis feels so real? And why does my head still hurt like hell?” “Ah don’t know Remy. Ah’m just a manifestation of your psyche, or somethin’ like that. Ah don’t have all of the answers.” She got up to leave, but Remy grabbed on to her wrist. “And how come you’re cryin’, chere?” He wiped a tear from her cheek and kissed her gently. She had more than enough strength to free herself from his grip, but his pleading eyes kept her rooted to her spot. She began to tremble. Why did this have to happen? Why now? “Ah’m cryin’ cause Ah know that you can nevah love me like Ah want you to, Ah’m cryin’ cause you don’t love me enough ta tell me the truth, and Ah’m cryin’ cause you won’t let me go. Please, Remy. Just let me go.” “But chere, why should I let you go? Dreams are all I ‘ave of you now. How can you ask me te give dat up too?” She looked at him sadly and whispered, “dreams were meant ta be broken.” He let go of her hand and she ran out of the door, not trusting herself to look him in the eye any longer. * * * * * Kali was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She looked idle, but in actuality she was concentrating on maintaining her mental shields at a strength capable of blocking out the broken memories she had absorbed from Rogue. Her head was throbbing, her bones were aching, and she was drop dead tired. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t dare try to go to sleep again. She had to be fully conscious to maintain her shields at such an intense level. If she drifted off to sleep then the memories would haunt her as nightmares. She had already experienced that once. She wasn’t prepared to do it again. She was finally getting the hang of it when someone knocked on her door. She was tempted not to respond, but brought herself to a sitting position anyway and mentally prepared herself for human interaction. “Come in.” Rogue cautiously poked her head inside the younger woman’s room. “You look about as bad as Ah feel,” she said despondently. Kali sighed. “I guess I didn’t help you as much as I had hoped?” Rogue looked extremely uncomfortable. “No. It seems that Ah have problems that run even deeper than those caused by mah powers. Not that Ah don’t appreciate you tryin’ or anything. Ah don’t know of anyone else who would do somethin’ like that for me.” “That’s not true. You just don’t know anyone else who can.” Rogue frowned. “Food for thought.” “I guess.” There was a prolonged silence. “So, um, are ya goin’ ta give mah powers back ta me now?” Kali looked at Rogue thoughtfully. “Isn’t there anything else that you’d like to do first?” “What?” Rogue gawked at her. “Ya mean ya’d give me more time?” “Of course.” “B-but aren’t the voices screamin’ at ya? Doesn’t you’re head feel like it’s fallin’ ta pieces?” “Yes Rogue, but don’t you experience that every day of your life? It would be extremely selfish of me to deny you a few hours just because I refuse to cope with the pain that is your life for a relatively minute portion of time.” “But usually Ah can hide the voices in the back of mah head where Ah can’t hear them any more. You can’t do that, can you?” Kali lowered her eyes as if she was guilty of a horrible crime. “No.” “Ah didn’t think so. No, Kali. You can give it back to me now. Ah have nothin’ else that needs ta be done.” Kali closed her eyes for a few moments. When she opened them again she breathed a sigh of relief -- the voices were gone. “It’s done.” Rogue reluctantly took her gloves back. They were just one of the many symbols of her captivity. “Thanks. Ah know you were just tryin’ ta help. It means a lot.” Kali smiled pensively. “There’s no need to thank me. There is something that you can do for me though.” Rogue thought. “Promise that you won’t tell anybody about this incident.” Kali was deadly serious. “That’s it?” Rogue wasn’t expecting something that simple. In fact, she was going to ask Kali the same thing. She didn’t want Remy finding out that she had fooled him into thinking that it was all a dream and she didn’t want other residents of the mansion getting the wrong idea about what went on. Kali nodded. “Ah promise. Can Ah ask why though?” “I don’t want anyone finding out about some aspects of my powers. I don’t want to be manipulated.” Rogue was confused, but she didn’t question Kali any further. “Well, that’s no problem. Ah don’t really know what you can do anyway.” “Is there anything else that you want to talk about?” Kali asked after a while. “Ah suppose not.” Rogue was grateful for an opportunity to leave. In her opinion, this situation was becoming extremely awkward. “What about you?” “No. I just want to be able to go to sleep without being afraid of the nightmares.” “Oh. Ah’m sorry about that.” “Don’t be. They’re not really you’re nightmares anyway. Besides, some of them were my own.” “Okay, Ah’ll let you sleep then. Good-bye.” “Good-bye.” Rogue slipped out the door as silently as she came and immediately took to the skies. She needed plenty of time to think through all of the muddled thoughts that were occupying her mind. Kali just collapsed onto her bed for the second time that afternoon, seeking out peaceful slumber and hoping that this attempt would be more successful than the first.