There lies breath...
In the evening rays of what is left of the sun.
I sit atop my pew and watch as the pure essence of my exsistance,
 walks across her living room floor.
 She reaches for a pack of camels as she sits and brings the flame to her lips.
Stunned I sit there watching the glowing light her moist mouth,
as slowly she opens them as if to kiss mine..then she turns away.
  Here I have sat and watched her for months..the same routine.
Every time I wish that my lips were with hers....The curves of her cheeks,
The green eyes, the died black hair, the maroon lips, The pale skin..my dream..my purpose.
Ever since I saw her for the first time walking down the street 
I have been here...watching..wishing...dying.
   She looks in my direction, but the shadows cover me like a velvet blanket,
hiding me in their dark soft waves...conceiling me from her eye.
How sometimes I wish they might abandon me so that she might see and know 
that there is someone that desires her,...someone that knows her..
..someone that understands and sees....
But I sit here every night... even when she is somewhere else.
  Her visage walks into the bedroom and then into her closet.
I can see her pushing clothing this way and that...pulling and testing
to find what will shelter her soft skin for the night. Slowly she finds a soft velvet
dress and caressess it against her face. Onto the bed it drops and
into the shower she dissapears.
 So I look away into the city where the light's of the buildings
 play games bouncing off eachother, trying their best to puncture the shadows 
that hold me ever so close..The battle between them rages on.
  But here I sit atop this mast of the abandoned church
across the street from my purpose...waiting for the courage to make my move.
I see her walk out of the steam and into the bedroom.
Her skin pale and beautiful. So soft it seems from here and I almost 
loose my balance as I am taken by her beauty. Her curves so refined
as if god took extra care in the making of her...as if she was crafted by hand 
and spirit, before her descendance to earth as my purpose. 
Slowly the dress slips down and her hair falls from beneath it, onto her shoulders
that catch it with extra care. And so I tightem my grip as I sit here and die.
  Now when I say dying, it is the feeling that I get.
My heart tightens and my breath is lost. Consciousness as it is known
falters and I am paralyzed..only my eyes function as I
cannot look away but the visions they captureare still embedded 
in my mind and cannot escape. And so I sit here every night dying.
 On with the makeup and out the door she goes into the night...my night.
 Onto the street I drop and through the alley I follow onto the side walk,
where I walk against the walls of buildings concieling myself
lest I scare my pupose away..and I loose my dream...my precious maroon dream.
 Across the street and a few blocks down.. to the stairs that go into 
the meeting place of these that conceil me...that swarm around me 
incasing me almost as well as the shadows did. The people of 
the night...of the inner city.
 There in the fake smoke of the local band stands my love 
serving swill to the black dressed people at the table.
And here I stand beside the pole and behind a gathering of drunkards. 
My way she comes.. and I walk as well as I can to her direction..
..she looks my way.. almost through me and I say "hi" with 
what voice I can muster...yet she turns to me an eyebrow
and walks toward the bar..
  What can I do?..Did she even see me?..was I not loud enough
to make my voice resound over the music or did I make any noise at all?
.... It had taken me months to muster this much courage..and now..
..failure....
  Out the door I pace and onto the sidewalk where my anonimity
falters and I become a spectacle falling onto the street and running
into the trees ahead. I fall on my hands and feel the dirt work it's way 
between my fingers cool and calming....welcoming. I fall to my side and 
lay there thinking how I could of let this happen.
But perhaps she didn't hear me..perhaps she didn't even notice me..
..Perhaps my maroon dream still has a chance.
  So there I sit behind the trees holding the dirt 
trying to calm my self. The hours like minutes fall away.
And after a while the doors close and out she comes before the locks go on.
Talking to some of the other carriers of swill. She smiles 
and than leaves into the shadows of the inner city.  And before 
she get's a block away out steps a man to her side..
he presses himself against her and smiles and put's on the ugly mask of fools
trying to win her affection. Down the sidewalk she walks with the fool 
into the distance. Up on my feet with the dirt still in my hand I 
follow up onto the roof tops best I can to keep an eye on them, 
as not to loose them in the same shadows that caress me so. 
A few blocks away into her building they disapear. This is not 
the first man that has worked his evil ways into my dream, 
but How I wish it could be the last...
  Onto my perch...my pew...my home I go as the lights come 
on in her living room. She mouths a few words and into the bedroom 
she disapears. He stands and waits for the door to close and 
proceeds to look around her things..the cabinets in the kitchen, 
the drawers in the living room, under the couch and finally 
behind the plates where his filthy hands find a fist full of money.
He looks toward the bedroom where I can see my love staring against 
the walls as she takes off her earrings....and into the room he bursts, 
throwing her to the bed. Violently he slaps her on her face and 
pulls off her clothes. Loud she screams and his hand finds it's way
to her mouth and muffles the sound..the other find it's way into 
her gut where she looses her fight and apart her leg's come. 
 Everything turning black as I start to fade with rage.
 Off my pew and into the air I fly, across the alley, 
through the window and onto the bed. He looks to me but flying glass 
hit's his eyes and he is blinded as he brings his arms to his face. 
I pull them away and jump toward the living room where I take his stiff 
body with me into the door and onto the floor beyond. 
He tries to pull them away from my hold and start's to 
kick screaming to let him go. I so fullfill his request as my mouth 
finds it's way to his neck and without leaving him a chance to plea.. 
I tear out his jugular with my teeth, pulling with it tendons and flesh together.
Limp he falls as blood fills the hardwood antique floors. 
My rage consumes me and I swallow that blood that has filed my mouth. 
I sit there I stare at his lifeless mound. Suddenly the thought 
comes to me my dream...does she live?
  Around I turn, and there..she sits on the bed with pain on her face 
as she is frozen, looking into my eyes..I let the meat fall
from my lips into the puddle that has gathered. Her lips quivering..
..she murmurs something but fails to speak. My eyes hardended with evil..
..fall.. to see her face turn to an expressionless glare.
  Quickly I grab a blanket from the couch and cover the body. 
Then slowly so not to frighten her I move close.
She backs up and murmurs but this time I understand.....
"don't kill me.."
I reachout with my hand and touch hers softly..feeling her skin..suddenly I am dying.
"I am not hear to kill you."
she murmurs:
"what do you want?.."
" My dream" I softly speak as if my words were petals falling from a rose.."I want you.."
"You want me?"
"I always have..."
and with that I fall next to her caressing her legs and the skin that I have only 
desired until now..
  She touches my head and murmurs something about not understanding..but how could she ..
does anyone love this deep?...does anyone understand me.
  She raises my head with her other hand to look into my eyes..
..And then I could feel her inside me. I could feel her fall into my soul. 
I could feel her mind exploring me and I was helpless to stop it.
And as if my body was thinkning on it's own it raised it self and slid onto the bed next to her.
And I looked to where my body started to lay and a tear fell from her eye. I could still feel
her inside me.. exploring my mind ..taking her time to violate my thoughts. then she was out and 
her lips fell quick onto mine. Her tounge rushed into my mouth and the taste of his blood
left my mouth and filled hers. Deeper the kiss..and I died..in her arms..
..into what was to become of my night..
....with my maroon dream.