Monday June 9, 1997 -- Goals |
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| I started the Artist's Way today |
I think I've finally decided I'm fed up with programming. Especially Database programming. It's not that I'm not good at it. It's not that it isn't a well-paying career. I am and it is. Programmers like me are in demand now. I'm just not happy doing it. Bored out of my mind is a closer description. Very little has kept my attention for long in my life. I flit from flower to flower, thing to thing, never stopping, or leaving a mark. I always take something with me,and I return to some of the smae flowers over and over. I enjoy challenge. One of my favourite slogans is "The hard we do immediately, the impossible takes a little longer." It's even true for me. Honest forces me to add "The easy is never finished." I might start on it, but I always get distracted. Now, this journal is surviving at least in part due to my boredom at work. And the fact that it's still interesting. I'm very excited about writing, doing artistic things, creating. Is my problem just that I've been doing the wrong thing all this time? "Surely", says my Rational side, "it can't be that easy." My fear that I'll become bored even with this project, forces me to come into work everyday, and do my lousy job. It's not really a lousy job. Just lousy for me. I've made a deal with myself. I'm working through the Artist's Way. I'm trying to expand my writing and artistic skills. I'm not going to make a decision on this for the three months of the AW. I started my morning pages today. I'm going to find the artist/creative/writer that I am, and bring that person out. If he comes, if he's really there, and as powerful and strong as I think he is, then I'm going to quit my lousy job and do what I enjoy. For perhaps, the first time in my life.
I really have persisted with this journal much longer than most of my projects. Thursday marks my one month anniversiary. If my posts are long enough--I'm not sure how long these things are--I qualify for the Often webring, I think. I'll wait awhile before applying. Maybe another month. I have more important fish to fry. I need people to see this, and respond. Tell me what I do well or poorly. I can take the criticism, if it makes the pages, my writing, my design, better. I'm working towards the goal of getting more people here. We shall see. I've gotten one response so far, and that was good. (Note to self: write him back...) At the very least, my life looks like it's going to be interesting for a while.
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